Tuesday 21 July 2009

a Frickin Bug......................


So I'm sitting in the doctor's waiting room, and I think "great. This is what it'll be like sitting in Gods waiting room..."
"SO why are you here?" I say to someone next to me, wearing an old american army uniform......
"I died on D-Day", he says.
"So what are you here for?"
I say to an executive looking individual, dressed in business attire.............
"I died on 9-11".

Then someone axes me, "What about you?"

"A frickin bug" is my reply. Yeah, that'd be my luck. A frickin bug does me in. Not cutting a live 16,000 volt power wire, then jumping into a muddy hole and picking it up, oh no, that'd be too logical.
Not cliff diving or helicopter repelling from or car accidents or being caught 20 miles off shore on Lake Ontario in a storm so bad it'd make george clooney crap his pants..................
Nope. Not those or a hundred similary stupid incidents in my life.
I die from a bug.
Perfect ending to a drama queen, eh?



Remember that broken finger?
Turns out it wasnt broken at all.
Oh it still hurts like hell, and my entire hand is all swollen up like he Stay Puff marshmallow man's hand, but nothing is broken.
It seems a tiny insect (with its maniacal little fangs so small they barely left a mark), caused a reaction in my body that necessitated a visit to the doctor.
Now understand I go to the doctor about as often as some idiot co-worker unleashes a skid of railroad ties on my arms.......ok maybe thats not a good analogy.
Point is, this frickin HURTS, and I cant use my hand. Doctors orders, for 5 days.
I said "doc, you gotta be kiddin me. I have kids. What am I supposed to do, KICK em?"



Oh relax, its a joke.

Kickin' leaves marks, I know beter than that.........................

Doc says that any useage of this hand will increase the risk of the infection spreading, and if I think 5 days off work is bad, how does a month in the hospital sound!?!?!?!
Good point doc.
It sucks, but its a good point.

So here I sit, for the next 5 days, with nothing between my mind and yours, except...............well, nothin'.
Hopefully for you, maybe it'll come up with something interesting to read.

Pray for a disaster to befall me. Those can be hilarious.




I got a sneaky suspicion that this bug bite is just the begining...................................
Maybe I'll go down in the basement and put on my old hockey gear, you know, "just in case", for protection and all. God knows I could use some protection.
Just Like Noah, I wont be the stupid looking one when the sky starts falling on me.

Frick.

2 comments:

  1. Alexander the Great died from a mosquito bite. And the only ones that bite are female. Ironic.

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  2. yikes, this place is gettin' creepy.
    Next thing someone will say, is that I was bitten by a black widow.......................

    ReplyDelete