Monday, 24 August 2009

"so you got married over vacation!?"


"Yep. And the metal in my ring matches the metal in the pins in my leg."








Oh like YOU'd have had a come back to that.


I just smiled and thought "you cant make something like that up."


And you can't, really.


Not the innocence of it, nor the truth of it.





As life's choices go, that one is a winner.


Pick a wedding ring made out of the same metal as the stuff that rebuilt your leg.


Yep, thats a good'un.


Profound, to boot, even if you can't spell profound.


A damn lot better than most of my choices, thats for sure.

Like my online search for a new pair of hunting boots. I buy most of my stuff online anymore, so when the "need" arose for a new pair, I started the search online.
I like Dicks Sporting Goods store, so I started there to see what they had to offer.
Well, technically I started with "dicks.com"
Made sense to me. Any company stupid enough to name itself "dick's" had to have a dot com in there somewhere, right!?!?
Yeah well theres a few other important letters in there too, I found out.
After plugging.......er..........typing "dicks.com" and hitting the enter button, my computer lit up like Village People warm up act.
Big neon flashing letters announced that I had, in fact, found "REAL ASS PUMPING MAN ACTION!!"
My wife looked over my shoulders and asked me,
"what are you doing?"
And I replied "looking for new boots"
She said that that was stupid enough to believe, and
she also said "I dont think they have the kind of boots you like, there".

See what I mean about choices?
I got a thousand examples like that one, and some are a tad bit more embarassing, but you'll have to liquor me up to get them out of me.

A little.

Picking a wedding ring material that matches the pins in your leg is nothing short of genius, by comparison. It took some thinking on my part to come to that conclusion however. On the surface, it made as much sense as most tatoos I see on people's bodies, but theres probably a story behind each one of those, too.
Besides alchohol, I mean.
Speaking of tatoos, I went out for ice cream at a local stand with my daughter katie the other night, and if they had contest there for the person with the least amount of tatoos, I'd have won it going away.
Even the ice cream girls working inside had tatoos.
I stood there feeling so................................



superior.

The things people do to get noticed, heyna or no?
Ok, it was west nanticoke, but still its got to be some kind of indication of society's changing standards, right? Right?!
Heres a thought, you want to be noticed?
Drop a hundred and fifty pounds, and wash your frickin hair once in a while, for starters.
Store the spandex until AFTER you lose the hundred fifty pounds, too.

Nose rings, studded eyebrows, "gauges" that resemble....well........big holes in your ear?

Not so much. Lose the tonnage and wash your hair, then get back to me.

I just dont get it, but I'm enjoying being the oddball with no body paint or metal protruding from my head. THATS gotta piss em off. I'M the one who stands out.

Ok, it IS west nanny-coke.

But I'll take it.
Gotta start somewhere.
Might as well be the bottom.


Sure hope nobody from west nanny-coke is a reader.

Yeah, what am I saying.


Think I'll do something really bizarre tonight, like read some shakespeare.
Like Romeo and Juliet................

2 comments:

  1. Reading is gay! (sarcasm)

    ReplyDelete
  2. not that there's anything wrong with that.....................

    ReplyDelete