It Just Doesn't Add Up

The Big Lie

2012-02-16T10:13:00.005-05:00

Anybody remember the story of private Jessica Lynch? How about Pat Tillman? Two American apple pie eating heroes who (we were told) were both victims of the eeeeeevil terrorist insurgent wannabe plane hijacker I.E.D. placing daring to resist their countries being occupied, enemies.

Turns out that both stories were not only lies, but one became an instant made for tv movie, complete with a script and plot PRE written by none other than Jerry Bruckheimer.

The Pat tillman story is just AWFUL. His death was exploited to the Nth degree by the very people responsible for his death. The Unites States Army.

Years after his death, after his family had been attempting to get the news out of what REALLY happened, we finally understand just what and who killed Pat Tilman. He was the NFL superstar turned army ranger (9-11 moved him to leave his lucrative NFL career and join the army), and he was killed in action while on patrol in some ooga-booga part of afghan-kurdis-uzbeka-whoozit-paki-stan. Doesn't matter.

The official story was "while on patrol the convoy was ambushed and Pat and some other soldiers attempted to flank the enemy forces who were perched high above the road. While attempting to assault the enemy, Pat was killed". Then the story changed to "after sucessfully assaulting the enemy position and killing the enemy, Pat was then accidentally killed by friendly fire from his comrades below.". THAT changed to, "After successfully killing the enemy ambushers, Pat was then signalling to his comrades down below that the had, in fact, won this battle, but then the comrades down below, despite Pat's repeated signalling, continued to fire upon Pat, until Pat was hit and killed. "

THAT morphed into the official army coroners report, which stated that Pat Tillman was killed by two point blank shots to the face, by a small arms weapon. A "double-tap" execution.

Huh. Doesn't add up, does it?

Its probably the only thing that DOES add up, regarding the war in Afghanistan, when you add into the mix that Pat was corresponding with his family back home, and that his sentiments regarding the war effort were "its a joke".

Pats family's claim was that Pat believed the U.S. Army was doing little more in Afghanistan than policing the opium fields there for the opium growers.

Now, it adds up. In a evil demented kinda way. The Army and the NFL made a killing promoting Pats's heroism and sacrifice on a weekly basis. Who knows HOW many other american well intentioned yoots signed their lives away to the serve and protect their country from goat farmers in the Hindu Kush mountains of the world? Dozens, at least.

Fast forward to the Bogus-holy-cow-what-a-pile-of-stinky-crap-story about the navy seals killing osama (been on dialysis for the past 10 years- out smarting and out running the u.s. navy seals at every turn for the past ten years, while dragging a kidney dialysis machine over the Hindu-Kush mountains of Pakistan/Afghanistan/and every other whoozitstan in the region, 72 year old) bin laden.

But THAT story is for real. Yuh-huh.

well, at first they said Hillary and Barrack and co. were watching it in real time on super secret hi tech navy seal-o-vision cameras that the super duper commandos had attached to their gear during the raid.

THEN the story changed to......wellllll, there was no live video, BUT, the seals had a nasty firefight with bin laden's guards who were super duper tough and hard nosed too, but WE still got him!!!!"

and that changed to well his wife had a gun and we shot her cuz she scared us.....

and THAT story changed to the official U.S government approved

soon to be made into a movie version.......................

We just landed two helicopters in Pakistan without telling the pakistani government and one of our helicopters crashed but the seals stormed into osama's house and encountered him and his wife and we shot his wife cuz she was all kinds of uncooperative. Oh yeah. And we shot him too. cuz he was osama bin laden, y'know.

But on the helicopter flight back to the aircraft carrier, when not high fiving each other, we did a super secret hi tech DNA test and VERIFIED that it WAS in fact, THE Osama Bin Laden that we had killed.

Then when we got back to the aircraft carrier, after much high fiving and drink hoisting and fist pumping, we dumped THE Osama Bin Laden's DNA in flight test verified body, into the pacific ocean, because that.....is......what Muslim customs demand we do with it.

Yeah thats it.

And somehow, after telling these stories, I'M the one who people call crazy.

I passed some goober goofball on the road the other day, and on the back of his American made pick em up truck, he had glued mailbox letters which gave this message.....

"AMERICA! IF YOU DONT LIKE THIS COUNTRY, GET THE F- - - OUT!!!!" And another one, "The American military, if you dont stand behind them, then stand in FRONT of them!!!"

And that guy thinks he's on the right side too. I betcha he bought a case of Bud when he heard the Bin Laden story, just so he could celebrate our nation's great victory, in style.

The inanity of the Bin Laden story is so obvious when you think about it, but to question ANY of it is CRAAAAAAAZY talk to reasonable people like reporters. And Floyd R. Turbo in the pick up truck . People like ME question the story and the stupidity of it all and get labeled as nuts. A conspiracy wack-o. People like Floyd R. Turbo with his mailbox letter covered tailgate got it right. He's reasonable.

But those lies arrent the BIG Lie. Not even global warming is the BIG lie.

The BIG lie hasn't occured. Yet. But it soon will.

And you know what? People will swallow it up. Because, just like with all the other lies, this lie will be promoted by our benevolent-got-its-share-of-problems-but-its-the-best-there-is-on-earth-by-god-government. And, by the media. And by good people like oprah and bill gates. And the Pope. And Good Morning America. You know. All those people and sources that can be trusted.

Want to know what it is?

Nah. You're not ready for it yet.

You can't even believe that Osamas Bin Laden WASN'T killed by super duper Navy Seal commandos. How are you going to handle the BIG lie???

You'll know it when you see it.

Cuz EVERYBODY will believe it.

A New Day

2012-02-13T11:18:00.003-05:00

In life, the only constant, is change.

Well, my life sure is constant these days. You would think, if you knew where I am now as opposed to where I was physically, a year ago, that would be bad. But its not.

I almost didn't make it to where I am now. In any sense of the term. Its been a rough and bumpy road, to say the least, and only a very select few know just how rough and bumpy. To those select few, and to Almighty God, I owe my life.

Most of you think you know, but as with everything, what we know no matter how well we know it, is still all we know. And therein lies the rub.

That, actually, has been the reoccuring theme in my messages here. What you think you know, isn't all or what there is to know.

A lot has changed since I started putting down my thoughts here a few years ago. Both within and without.

What I had faith in back then is very different from what I have faith in today. What I saw as truth back then is very different from what I see as true today. (gee theres a statement just begging to be jumped on by hate filled trolls lurking about.....)

Right at this moment I am with total futility trying to convince my friend that not even Ron Paul can right this ship we called America. But he still holds onto the hope that america as we were taught to believe is good and noble and right and the light of the world, can be once again what we were mislead to believe it was in the first place.

Yeah, you'd better read that last sentence again to make sure you got it right. Of all the transformations and revelations I've undergone in the past 2 years, none was more difficult to comprehend than the one about our country. Marriages fail all the time. Wives betray and undermine and attempt to destroy and reduce to ruin, their husbands, all the time. That one was hard, but nothing like the one about my country being nothing I thought it was. That one, changed EVERYTHING.

Nowadays, when I try to watch things like political debates on tv, (and I emphasise the word "try" because it is so difficult a thing to do) , I can't believe that A: I used to BUY all the crap they dish out, and B:, EVERYONE believes the crap they dish out. Then after the debates, we have the commentators and experts piling MORE crap on top of the piles of crap we've just been force fed in the debate itself.

In a nutshell, heres a dose of reality to wash down all the crap you've been fed all your life.

There is no political race, debate, difference, or "core value" distinction between republicans democrats, or the "also-rans". Oh here we go. You arre shouting, "HOW CAN YOU SAY SOMETHING SO OBVIOUSLY STUPID AND UNTRUE!?!?!? (um, you say that a lot here, dontcha?)

The only difference in the body politic, is an illusion whos purpose it is to divide the members of the opposing camps. That means, that the seeming differences between parties, is IMAGINED.

The great champion and "savior" of conservatism in america, Ronald Reagan, was no different that Jimmy carter or Barrack Hussein Obama.

I know. You dont believe me. Gee Im crushed.

Explain to me how the great "conservative", the man who was all about American sovereignty and independence and strength, picked as HIS running mate and successor, the man who would be the first american president to usher in, welcome, champion, and PROMOTE, The New World Order, in which american sovereignty and independence, would be placed on the back burner of priorities?? Thats significant because it is not something that George Bush would have left out while being interviewed for the job of V.P., you know? Bush, because of his association with Reagan, had the backing of a duped regenerated conservative base, which was and is a significant portion of our duped whole polulation. If you can get half the duped muggles behind you instantly because you hoist the right banner, how hard would it be to convince the remainder of the duped population that what you stood for was right good and wholesome and in the best interest of america the Beautiful!??

We have had liberals and conservatives democrats and republicans smattered almost at perfect intervals in the past 50 years, and the direction of our nation hasn't changed no matter who was supposedly in charge of the oval office.

If you look at the CULTURAL direction of our nation, it has gone in NO direction except down, for the past 50 years. Didnt matter which political party was at the helm, the direction was the same. We have had ronald reagan, the first george bush, and the second bush, and I BEG you to give me one instance, other than lip service (notice I didnt include bill clinton in this request), when we as a nation have done ANYTHING to "return to conservative core values of our nation"?, as EVERY republican presidential candidate promises and preaches endlessesly to accomplish!?!?!? It hasn't happened, and it won't happen this time, either.

For you see (I doubt it) that the men we elect, are not the ones running this country. They are just the ones we elect, in order to keep the charade going on. They are just the puppets being played with for we, the muggles of society, to put our hopes and energies into.

So lets say you have paid a teensy bit of attention to this point. Lets say you even read the sentence that said "the men we elect as president are not the ones who run this country".

Then WHO is?, is the next logical question in the very unlogical hypothesis.

Remember Reagan's running mate and successor? He said it. He told us who. The New World Order.

Anybody who believes the NWO to be just a wacked out conspiracy theory is at this point, an ignorant muggle who is happy being so. They, the people in and behind the NWO, no longer hide nor are bashful of their plans, design and schemes to achieve their goal of a one world government. If by now you dont know about, understand, or believe the significance and reason behind the buildeburgs, the trilateral commission and the council on foreign relations, to name a few, well then go head and keep taking your blue pills. (or is it the red ones?)

There are a LOT of people in this country and the world who THINK they understand all this, but they only understand it insomuch as they understand THEM. A lot of people believe its just a matter of men running the banking empires being greedy for more and more money, so THEY are behind it all and if only we could expose and prosecute the BANKERS for their crimes all would be right. And there are the constitutionalists who believe that if only we could return to our core constitutional values and principles, THEN we could get our nation back again and everything would be honkey-dorey. The Ron Paul supporters are in that latter group. A lot of ron paul supporters int he former group too. Corporations are being blamed for America's ills, but its neither the corporations nor their lobbyists who are at the root of our problems.

Ron paul cant fix a system that not broken, its not even real anymore. You can't fix whats not there.

I have one link for you, and you know what? Those of you with eyes to see, will watch, and those of you who dont want to, will comment ceaselessly on the inanity of my posts and my links and the internet in general. Fine.

Funny thing about words. They usually come back on you and bite you twice as hard as what you inteneded their bite to be, on others.

I know that, and am more careful these days with mine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDDGl79x4Pc

The series is called, "Know your enemy".

Have a nice, new day.

Paris Hilton makes the world go round....

2011-08-06T07:38:00.006-04:00

Evidently, evidence isn't enough to convince some people. Especially people who view themselves as "smart", or learn-ed. Or intelligent.

I was going to continue a little discussion in the comment section of another post, but for some reason that a technological dope like me can't figure out, "it" wouldn't allow me to do so.

So. We shall continue the free lesson on why a dope like me is infinitely "smarter" than.........

you.

Collectively speaking, of course. Far be it for me to assume any actual superior brain activity to any specific individual reading this nonsense.

For the other reader here, bear with me.

DDT was and is again used to fight malaria, via killing mosquitos, which SPREAD malaria.

Maybe smart people thought I meant ddt was sprayed on patients to cure malaria. I dunno. Who the hell knows what smart people think.

Anywho. The New York Times

The BBC

and my favorite article Titled DDT is returning to fight malaria.....

National Geographic.

DDT was the primary chemical used to kill mosquitos that spread malaria, smart person said it was never used against it. Found a link to verify her stance, too. Shows you how much you can trust links. Better to be smart than quick with google. Google is smart. You're not. Thats why you need me. Oh I'm not smart either, but years ago I noticed "funny clouds in the sky and said "something doesn't add up......" and you STILL say, "oh its nothing thats just crazy talk!"

I notice and can process things. You obviously, cannot. At least not things that aren't beyond debate, like 2+2 equaling 4. Sunday comes after saturday, those sort of things.

Back to the clouds. Its called geoenginnering, which is a fancy (smart) way to say weather control, or sunlight control. There's thousand smart sites and a hundred scientific organizations involved with geoengineering, but you say Im crazy for noticing or talking about it. Dont bother looking it up, and I wont bother putting links here that you won't go to. Find your own. (hint, DON'T go to the united nations site that discusses the concept/program.)

I believe I heard the single stupidest comment that I've EVER heard in my life, just the other day. I was in the frying pan department of a store looking at stuff because some crazy loon keeps removing my stuff.....anywho.....

My child asked me about a teflon pan, and I said "that stuff is poison", meaning the teflon. The bright yet to be indoctrinated little girl next to me asked her mom, "mom, is teflon POISON?" And the good little sheep of a mom said to her soon to be sheep of a daughter, "no honey, if it WERE poison, they wouldn't be selling it." A rush of calm could be seen sweeping over the traumatized little girl, and the sheep of a mom had a story to tell her coworkers the next day at Reasonable Thinking Inc, where Im certain she worked.

Doesn't get any more reasonable than that.

"And they wouldn't put fluoride in toothpaste if it weren't poison either...." I said.

My kid smiled.

It must be nice to have such faith. Not the faith of a child, but the faith of a sheep. To assume that the larger than description entity called "they", or government, or whomever, really give a rats ass about us other than to extract what they NEED out of us.

Like tax revenues, or labor, or whatever. To believe that "they" sit around wringing their hands wondering how to make our lives safer, more peaceful. Safer. Because they care.

THATS faith. Its certainly not intelligence . Nor is intelligence swallowing what you are fed at some second rate college by some second rate pseudo intellectual expert. That, is accurately described as indoctrination. On a fools level, to boot.

Am I smart? Nope.

Never ever ever said I was. But I notice things and try and decipher them. Which is obviously more than you can say. See that picture on the front of this stupid blog? YOU didnt even notice that. YOU think thats "normal". Whatever you and I are, you're a level below me, so there.

So here's what you need to know.

The same corporations that caused the rivers in cleveland ohio to catch on fire, still are in charge of this nation and world. The same banking organizations that ruled the corporations when someone in europe decided to start a war just to kill people and make money, still are in charge.

Oh look up the history and events and results of world war One.

The financial instiutions and a handful of ruling families in Europe made a bloody fortune, and when public opinion got to a tipping point, WE got involved to prolong it until that didnt even cover up what was going on.

A war with no movement, no objectives, no victories, but defeat enough for everyone.

Oh you dont know the first damn thing about WWI do ya?

Don't worry, nobody does. Point is, like most modern wars, it had nothing to do with nationalism, and everything to do with globalism, and who runs the globe. But I'm sure sentences like that make your pretty little head hurt with anger and indignance, so.............we'll continue.

The League of Nations was a result of WWI. The United Nations was the result of WWII. The New World Order is a result of the political and personal expansion of the United Nations.

More crazy talk? I don't suppose you ever heard of Agenda 21, did you?

I didnt think so. It hasn't been discussed on Good Morning America and it doesn't have a facebook page, so it might as well be saltwater on mars as far as you're concerned. Agenda 21 is the Global plan to micromanage your life, here in these united states. You wont look it up, and Im not going to waste the effort trying to show you.

Oh hell yes I am. How great is that? a link titled "agenda 21 for dummies?"

Watch. Or not. Or go to the keith oberman / kevin lynn site claiming its all good and it'll make the world a better place to exist..............

Are you beginning to see where I'm going yet?

All over? Yep. You HAVE to go all over. You can't understand ANYTHING, if you don't understand everything.

I am called crazy by some bitter female who makes it her mission to discredit what I say here. Thats ok, she's failed miserably to this point.

I get called crazy, but normal people believe that everything is fine and normal and there is no agenda anything and no chemcals in the sky and that american police are SUPPOSED to look like fully armed storm troopers and genetically modified foods are as good as we are told they are and the medical industry would never lie because pharmacuticals are good for us and fluoride ISN'T a poison and even though the radiation leak from Chernobyl caused THIS lady to tell the japanese peole to"RUN", and even though Japans disaster is at LEAST hundreds of times worse..........Everything is fine. Because someone somewhere, said its fine.

Yeah, well, someone somewhere said what Paris Hilton says and does is worth paying attention to, too. And someone somewhere invented a "fine" passtime called farmville and mafia wars and said thats a fine way to spend your time, too. And Im sure someone somewhere believes its fine to keep a 5 year old out till midnight at a stupid ass county fair, too. Oh its "FUN!!!!"

Yeah. Fun.

Im not living in fear or paranoia or any negative state of mind, save for the effect of having to live with hatred and subterfuge by the person who is SUPPOSED to be the one I count on for support. No boo-hoo-ing here, just the facts. On THAT front, Im stressed as hell. But you won't win that battle either, because you are on the wrong side there, too.

Teaching my kids to think and be aware is no more detrimental to them, than it is to teach them to look both ways before crossing the road. Twice, I tell them.

Heres a story that floored me when I saw it. I was watching a foreign made film called "Broken Silence" (I think that was the name).It was directed by some obscure film maker called............lemme see if I can remember it...............oh yeah. Steven Spielberg.
Anywho, in it was a story about the Warsaw Ghettos, and survivors there told about the "crazy rumors" that were flowing about the death camps. About the trains that were taking ghetto residents to those death camps.

NAAAAAH. It CAN'T be true, was the general consenus.

Thats CRAZY talk.

What floored me, was that in that setting, after everything the ghetto prisoners had been through up to that point, they still couldn't allow themselves to accept what was really going on.

They were sheep, right up to the end. We here in present day america are like those warsaw ghetto residents, in a way. Freedoms have been systematically eroded and the noose has been tightened little by little, but the sheep refuse to see and notice, because they still have their safe little fun distractions.

Im right, and all your bitching and condemnation doesn't mean a damn thing.

Im right, and you don't have a clue.

Im a dope, and Im right.

Whats that make you?

Whooo-WHOOOOOOOOOOO! (I hear that train a comin'...........................)

disinformation

2011-08-03T21:19:00.003-04:00

in august of 1939, adolph hitler murdered a bunch of polish citizens, placed german military uniforms on them, and then videotaped the dead "german army" bodies and broadcast them to the german people. think Im making that up too? then read, or remain ignorant. It got his people all fired up to attack poland. mis and disinformation, for a purpose.

Rachael Carlson conducted a study on bald eagles in alaska, and the conclusion of her study was that because of the presence of DDT, bald eagles eggs did not have the sufficient calcium present to allow the eggs and their occupants, to mature and hatch. ZERO eggs made it to hatchlings.

Because of that "study", DDT was banned from america.

This isnt about whether or not ddt is harmful. It is about a false deliberately altered "scientific study", that had huge ramifications. What Ms Carlson left out of her official findings, was that in her controlled experiment, racheal removed ALL calcium from the eagles diet. ALL of it. Now what kind of effect do you think THAT little tid bit of info had on the study? Eggs are primarily, calcium. hmmmmm.
Ms carlson admitted it decades later, but you know what, Pittsburgh recently named a bridge after her, for her work to make the planet a better place to live.

Ignorant, stupid fools who think because the results were what THEY wanted, the study was valid.

mis and dis information.

Dont even get me going on global warming. its a hoax created by those who will profit and control in the new "carbon regulated" world. You were told its to save the planet, but thats just a schtick. a pitch. Read.

the ultimate mis and dis information. it is going to RULE your existance, and you are going to allow it joyfully, because you believe you're saving mother earth.

So go ahead and drive across ms carlsons bridge and feel all safe because ddt is nnow banned . Oh, and malaria is at an all time high. Oh, and nations where malaria is rampant are reinstating ddt as an accepted chemical. But you feel good because youre so smart.

Hell, YOU never even hear of rachael carlson before you read this, and you think IM stupid.

Dont worry.

You're like the dad (who played second string in high school) that takes his kid to the super bowl and says, "you know, I used to play football too....."

Just shut up and watch, you dont understand or know about anything, let alone what it takes to get to the super bowl. Shut up and learn.

read it for yourself

2011-07-19T09:05:00.003-04:00

Country folk think they will survive. they also think they will be left free to do so. I wish it were that simple, but it isn't. Every aspect of even rural life will be controlled, and its not by accident, happenstance, or for your own good or safety. Its time for you to grow the frick up and realize whats happening.

read.

Ive commented on this stuff before, but laziness or patronization delayed you from checking this stuff out for yourself.

I give you the whole google search page of fluoride poison. Pick one.

aspertame is poison. I was in a store with my youngest daughter the other day, when she asked for a pack of sugar gum. I said "hold on". I read the ingredients and lo and behold in a sugar sweetened gum, they put aspertame in. I turned to her and said "nope. This stuff has poison in it. " She still wanted it, but I showed her the label, and said, "see? stuff called Aspertame. " A mother in front of me turned and looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. I looked at her and said, "look it up". She won't, and most of you 3 here wont read my link either. Not my fault at this point.

You are being rained on with radiation from japan every time it rains. Scroll down to Boise Idaho's readings. Want to know what the government did when Boise registered the highest levels of radiation in the united states? They shut down the radiation detectors and physically removed them from the state. But trust them, they care about you.

We are being rained on just like when Chernobyl went kablooey, and contaminated people half a world away. Except with Fukushima, the radiation is presently thousands of times worse, and its getting worse daily. So this is Chernobyl. Nice, huh? And thats nothing in comparison. THIS, is Fukushima.

What are you worried about today? Your job? Your bank account?

It may be a shock or a terrible thing to admit for you, but you had better listen to me, cuz I'm not wrong. Read for yourself.

Understand this. I chose these simple couple articles because it proves to you that this stuff is real, and its being done on purpose, to our detriment. The respected established media, government agencies, and the medical communities are deliberately keeping truth from your minds, and now you can see that for yourself. This is baby step numero uno.

Next time you watch an infotainment show like good morning america, look at how STUPID the stories are that we as a nation are being fed. Step back and LOOK.

If you can digest THAT simple fact, you can understand where I will go next. And that is to tell you WHY this is being done.

Unfortunately for me I give a damn, about all this, and you. Whoever you are.

I wish I was as wrong as most people believe I am.

Thinking outside the box

2011-07-05T20:22:00.006-04:00

Any football fans here!? If you need to rekindle the excitement of the superduperbowl, then click on this link and watch the highlights from last year's game. Great game wasn't it? Remember who won it?

I didn't. In fact, I didn't even remember who PLAYED in it.

Who DID win, anyways? Oh, the Green Bay Packers won?

Really?

So we had these two teams, full of drama and bylines and subplots. Both teams gave their all in training, playing injured, etc. Great efforts and entertainment.

It would hard to believe that it was all staged, wouldn't it? Maybe staged isn't the right word. Or maybe it is.

Who really won?

I would certainly end up looking like Beetle Bailey after Sarge gave him a thumpin, if I went up to some 300 lb lineman who played in that game and said it was all a hoax. A sham. All beccause I dared to speak that a game was fake. Or just an act. Or a product, tool or a program.

Who is in charge ot the TEAMS who played that night? Who is above the players who are duke-ing it out on the field every week during the season? The people who don't get injured, don't have to train, or inject themselves with humanoid drugs that make them super human?? The people who watch (I assume) just like you and I, but who reap more benefits from BOTH teams' efforts, than the teams' players themselves?

You could call them the team owners. The League commissioners. The people who make the rules and decide who plays whom, and when. The money generated by that one final football game is no joke, nor is it an accident. Nor is IT a game. Its serious business, and more.

There are people above and beyond the very real players who get very really injured and who are in most instances very talented at their professions. So what's so outside the box about saying that there are people above the players in the NFL scheme of things?

Nothing. But if I told any "dedicated" (read rabid) fan that the game is a sham, they'd be quite irritated indeed at me. Enough so to get maybe violent. The players DO SO train and "wage war in the trenches"........

hmmmm. Interesting choice of words we hear so often from the sports network talking heads. Waging war.

(insert out loud laughing and guffawing here)...oh hey....imagine if.......oh man this is a good one.....what if we could say the same thing about REAL war!?!? wouldn't that be HILARIOUS!?

Yeah, if real people didnt get dead and maimed, for real.

But we all know that wars are for real, because like I said, real bullets and bombs kill real people. And most of the time, its for REAL reasons. Like political or something.

You know, like communism versus capitalism. Or fascism versus freedom, or republicans versus democra................

...

Well, we KNOW that THIS..um these wars we are now engaged in are for REAL reasons. That much is cert........um, ok. But we KNOW that the COLD WAR was real, because we KNOW that communism was real, and it had the soviet union and china and all those nasty mean countries who were a THREAT to our way of life, right? And our way of life government had lots of agents and agencies who worked REALLY hard against communist agents and agencies. Why, there were BILLIONS of dollars spent in operat.........um.............well, we HAD to spend all that money and develop all that technology because there were COMMUNISTS, DAMMIT!!!!! We HAD to!

But what IF. What if the "enemy of Doom!" was just a shell of a boggey man that caused all the chaos of the cold war? What if that "threat" was created, for the exact purpose it produced? Sound preposterous? Too elaborate? Elaborate to the point of building an entire empire and arming it to the vodka fortified teeth. Funny how all those soviet scientists and officials just faded off into the sunset. No mass lynchings from the common rabble with their pitchforks and torches. One day, EEEEEvil Inc., the next day, *poof* like a fairy, all gone.

Kinda like one day, all the eeevil nazi scientists are evil and working for the evil Third Reich, and the next, they're all imported and immigrated and patriotized and working for the good guys at Los Alamos, USA. Nope, not making that up either. Nazi scientists were NASA. Think of it as free agency. Star players get traded to other teams all the time these days. Its all just a game anyways, right?

Oh, THIS is why not many people think outside the box, even though everybody thinks they do. Its loony out here.

Do you think there could be someones out there who are ABOVE the teams in the world? Someone or someones who deicde the schedules, the players on the teams, etc?

Naaaaaaah. Of course not. Thats CRAAAAAZY talk.

But if there were, I bet they'd have a really neat name like The Bilderberg group. (That is the official bilderberg site ). No loony toon site there. Just the facts ma'm. Now THIS one, is a little different story. David Icke is a bit out of my orbit, but he's not wrong about everything.

When George Herbert Walker Bush (daddy) first uttered the words "new world order" in that state of the union address way back when, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. "wait a minute. HE just said new world order, and he's a GOOD guy!" I remember hearing Daddy Bush utter that phrase, and I remember being floored by it. The only thing that didnt end up making any sense, is why I ever thought there was a difference between democrats and republicans in the first place. There isn't.

Both parties have been leading this country down the road to destruction for the past 50 or 60 years. BOTH parties.

No, Reagan DIDN'T turn this country around. We wouldn't be plunging to our deaths like a bag of bowling balls tied to a greased firepole, if he DID, now would we?? He chugged us right along, plunging us further into the abyss that we now are not even able to see the top of.

Did we "spend the soviet union into oblivion", like retarded historians claim, or did we just spend? Sure was a boost for the economy, wasn't it? Sure, the soviet union went pffffffffflt, but SHAAAAAZAAAAAM! Because our country and our government and our corporations...(wait, thats redundant)...........WE arranged to ship ALL of our industry and businesses over to China, making THEM the boggey man super power of the hour.

Convenient, isn't it? Aaaaand we happened to slip them (the chinese govt) 20 years of technology and military secrets through Los Alamos Nuclear testing facility. Interesting story there. I happened to meet and work for a retired couple of "scientists" from Los Alamos, who upon retiring (soon after the secrets scandal), bought a (military contracted production) factory, and a half million dollar home and sunk another half million into it.

Kids, your parents were right, stay in school, the money really IS in math and science.

anywho.

We seemingly miraculously are faced with ANOTHER eeeeeeevil superpower (that we built and powered and enabled) and thus the Super Stealth Sluethers Inc. could continue to do what they did best. Research and spend. And ramp up the fear of the new boogey man that we just created. And spend.

Makes sense, in a business sort of way. Lotsa people would be unemployed in the intelligence industry if we didn't have any boogey man to be all a-feared of. That would be a bigger crime than the powerful military not having anyone to use all their goodies on. That'd be a REAL shame. Especially if you were one of the manufacturers suppling said military. Wouldn't need bullets, guns, fancy shmancy automatic parking assist fighter jets, aircraft carriers worth more than the island of manhatten...................you know, STUFF.

Wars are economy boosters, y'know.

Wars always were. And there are those who profit from BOTH or ALL sides in wars. Peoples or groups who sell to BOTH sides, sometimes at the same time.

Thats the people I'm talking about, and those are the ones who tell governments what to do, who to go to war with, and when.

Sure, real agents do real intelligence work and real soldiers get hit with real bullets, but its still all staged.

Thats the really horrible part about it.

Did you ever hear of bilderberg? Or of the trilatteral commission or council on foreign relations?

Hell, you probably never even heard of the Rothschild family, or the banking industry they OWN. Watch this. Oh for crying out loud. WATCH. Like 3o minutes of your precious time isn't worth it for you to understand what the frick is really going on.

The team owners have owned the banks, and hence the worlds' money, for a couple of centuries now. Remember the Golden Rule. "He who owns the Gold, MAKES the rules....."

They, the team owners, the league commissioners, now own the food industry. You know, what used to be called FARMS. Please watch this. Please. Watch and learn the doublespeak-misinformation being dished out. "ITS GOOD CUZ WE SAY ITS GOOD!!!! WHO KNOWS WHY THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT IS INVOLVED BUT ITS STILL GOOD!!!!!! " Watch that video and hear those words for yourself. Oh, you think thats just more crazy talk. Yeah, and if you watched that last link, you got more information you couldn't even imagine, from a frickin cartoon, than you could've from a thousand hours of watching cnbc.

Sigh.

You probably still believe that fluoride is a GOOD chemical, don't you? After all, its what we've been told as a nation since the 1950's. If our beloved government officials who we trust with our FRICKIN LIVES, tell us its good, then by god its GOT to be good. Not so much, it seems. Never made sense to me why an ingredient we were supposed to put in our mouth three times a day every day of our lives, had a warning label attached to it that said if any is swallowed, call your poision control center immediately. Aaaaand then they started putting it in water systems.

No, you CAN'T make this stuff up. Whats worse, is people who notice it, are called wackos or conspiracy theorists.

The smart experts on tv tell us is all ok and theres nothing to fear but conspiracy theorists.

And while you're not worrying about fluoride, don't worry about aspertane, msg's, GMO food, increasing prescription drug use for increasing ailments, either.........yeah, we're one super evolved hyper intelligent pack of idiots, and its all by design. Think I'm wrong? Tell me what you saw on the news today, the Casey Anthony verdict, or exactly WHY we are bombing the people of Libya? Yeah. Thats what I thought. We're told what to think about, what to eat, how to think, how NOT to think, what drugs we need, who's important, and what they're wearing. Why do you think that is? Maybe americans really DO need to know what the new princess of la-la-land is wearing while she tours!?!? God I depress myself thinking about how stupid everything is.

Its like watching a bad Bollywood movie about Stupid America.

Unfortunately, there really are people in high unseen places pulling the strings that make the ones who makes the laws for us, dance. They're the ones who told the senators to vote for the bankers' bailouts. The voters overwhelmingly told them to NOT vote for the bailouts. The politicians voted as their bosses told them to, and told us it was what needed to be done. "you commoners don't understand the complexities."***

That is all the evidence you need to understand who really is in charge. It ain't you, and it ain't the politicians.

Call em bankers, call them Illuminati, whatever. But don't say its a conspiracy theory, because you will look stupid. The One World Order is real, documented, and on its way, double time. Only a true blue fool would believe that everything will be ok, america will ride out this tough period like it always has..........

and we will once again be the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Go Team!!!

***adendum*** dateline 7-5-11. On ABC's Nightline show, attorney and extremely annoying to listen to for more than three seconds-nancy grace, said that the casey anthony verdict is proof that our system, a system she believes in and loves, is broken. The verdict was due to "the jury couldn't understand the complex and detailed scientific evidence presented to it", AND, "two of the jurors had negative interactions with the law, thus perverting or hampering their judgement capabilities". One juror had a DUI, and the other had a .....I dunno, a fricking jaywalking ticket or some nonsense.

Nancy grace, an attorney, said that the jury system is incapable of its job anymore, basically because "regular people aren't smart enough to be good jurors".

Sound familiar?

The arrogance she exhuded last night on tv was exactly the same as exhibited by ex-congressman paul kanjorski when he was asked, on camera, about the original TARP bailout vote. He was asked "what kind of calls is your office getting regarding the vote?" The Congressman smiled and responded, "my office is getting two kinds of calls. No, and HELL no".

The reporter-ette then asked, "so how are you voting?

He smiled again and said, "I'm voting yes".

(insert carnival music here.... doo....doot....dooty....dooty....doot...dooot...dooooooooot.........)

Star Wars

2011-07-04T13:04:00.002-04:00

whoopee. Its tough to get in a celebratory mood today, despite the wonderful weather.

Perhaps I'm spoiled.

Yeah, thats it.

Bin Laden is dead, the market is up, Los Alamos fires are under control, fire works shows to be watched everywhere......all the world's a happy place.

So how come I feel like crap on a stick?

Normally, I spend around 500 or so dollars on fireworks to ooh and aah the family and neighborhood. This year? Zip. Nada.

Besides not having a real family to ooh and aah this year, the 500 dolllars, if it were there, would be used to buy much more realistic freedom expressing items. Like bullets. Or toilet paper.

Its not easy being prepared. Or crazy, depends on who's doing the describin'.

I watched a couple of fireworks/entertainment shows on tv tonight. One from the Capital building in Washington DC and one from NYC. The usual yankee doodle dandy songs were played, and Steve Martin even composed a special song about Paul Revere's horse. Pretty good, actually.

But the song that really froze me in my tracks, was sung by LeeAnn Rhimes.

In NYC.

Amazing Grace.

It was as though America the not so beautiful was making one last ditch effort to stave off the inevidable. At least thats how I saw it.

She did a good job, not a Brooklyn Baptist Choir good, but pretty good. It made me sit up and take notice of what I was seeing. Of everything thats going on. Congressman Weiner, Casey Anthony, Lindsay Lohan, Obama bombing the hell out of Libya.......... you know, America the Beautiful.

I heard that song, and thought, WTF!?!?!?

Then I realize that most of the people watching fireworks on tv, were those people who HAD to watch fireworks on tv . OLD folks. Amazing grace-polka fans-people. Aaaaand those of us who are too cheap or crazy to partake personally in the celebration of starting a war with the British.

I fit into all three of those categories, depending on who you ask.

But if'n you ask me, its because I just don't want to celebrate this country anymore.

Not while we are indeed bombing the hell out of people in Afghanistan and Pakistan and Libya who are in no way a threat to life here in these United States.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against wars or killing evil-doers or anything Quaker-ish like that.

I'm against what this nation has become.

Lying about middle eastern peoples, greed over their resources, and murdering any and all nations we deem necessary.

We are not the nation I used to plunk down 500 bucks to show my pride over. I don't know what the hell we are anymore.

But I do know that singing Amazing Grace on national tv on the 4th of July, wasn't a bad move, nor do I think it was a mistake.

Just more confusion on a day that has me utterly confounded.

Didja ever notice how in the star wars movies, there was never just ONE war that was waging at a time?

I guess that would be too simple.

Enemies would be too easily defeatable if they only had to be dealt with on one front.

Hitler learned that lesson the hard way. Emperer Palpatin too.

It seems that in this nation's time of times, each and every one of us has some other battle waging, to keep us all from getting organized and united and focused on the battle that is at hand.

At least that's how it is for me. On a personal level, my life is one one second battle after another. In the meantime, I'm supposed to be training for the battle that is for these united states of america.

Its always like that I suppose.

Any fool can prepare for something thats preparable for. Try preparing while someone is trying to defeat you before the battle starts.

I guess thats what they pay me for.

I need a raise.

Or a drink.

Good Night America.

whats wrong with this sentence?

2011-06-30T09:09:00.006-04:00

"30,000- 55 gallon drums of radioactive plutonium waste, stored in fabric tents...."

Well, if you're staring at the farmville crops or porn online, probably not much. If however, you happen to have access to your cognative thought capabilities, then its a different story.

As if the Fort Calhoun Nebraska nuclear facility being within one foot of missouri river water from becoming a real catastrophe wasn't bad enough. Or that much or most of the midwestern farmland in the united states remains underwater, and hence unplantable, theres this. Theres another fire at the Los Alamos nuclear labratory compound. On those facility's grounds, theres a "section G", where approximately thirty thousand (55 gallon) drums of radioactive waste are stored, under fabric tents. Fabric tents. They're stored in fabric tents because when they used to be buried underground, it was too lately-discovered that they leaked. SO, to make it easier to inspect them, they just roll them to a spot (called area G) and stick them in tents. WHICH might seem sorta reasonable.......

Except that they had another wildfire fire at Los Alamos not too long ago. 2003 I believe, and to the best of my knowledge that fire wasnt dubbed "The one and only wildfire that did or would ever hit new mexico". Its kinda hard to believe that the supposed bright people running a place where things like nuclear bombs are built and developed (among other higher tech gizmos), anyone in charge of something so dangerous there would consider it reasonable to stick 30,000 barrels of radioactive plutonium in tents. Kinda like building a nuclear reactor on top of the most active faultlines in the united states, but thats another story. (equally idiotic)

So what. Who cares. Everyting's fine, and the experts are saying as much.

Again, I have to ask you. At WHAT point do you the farmville playing braindead out there, start to NOT swallow everything you are fed!?!? At this point, I believe its at no point. There is a percentage of the population who see through the BS that is shoveled our way on a constant basis, and the rest just take it in and start chewing. Whether that is due to a lack of flouride in our systems, or simply "genetic deficincies", some of us just see piles of brown stinky yukky stuff whenever some expert takes the microphone. Conditioning maybe. I dunno.

Anybody know the story about how the famous Rothschild Family made their incredible fortune? Pretty interesting, and the rest of this video is worth watching to find out, too.

I suggest you watch it, because its kinda connected to the next disjointed subject.

George Soros, is apparently buying up flooded farmlands in the united states, and hes getting a good deal too. Who wants flooded farmlands anyways? Now if you've been paying attention, you are at least partially aware that A: the nations weather this year alone has been pretty much unprecedented, or at the least VERY unusual.

And B: One man's calamity is another mans profit.

Worst drought, EVER, in Texas, Kansas, Oklahoma, and the worst flooding EVER, just a hop skip and yee haw to the east, along the mississippi and missouri river basins. But wait, it gets bettter. The army corps of engineers deemed it necessary to open the morganza spillways for the first time ever. They flooded farmlands, instead of risking flooding the city Baton Rouge and other more populated areas downstream. Sounds logical. The really interesting part is, part of the farmland that was flooded by morganza spillway water, was IN that drought zone previously talked about. You cant make that stuff up. From severe drought, to under 15 ft. of water in a day. Progress I suppose. Cant plant crops because of the drought and (unless you're farming catfish) if there's 15 feet of water on your farmland, you're not going to grow too much then either.

So what. I get it. So a rich guy is buying farmlands up and taking advantage of people's misfortunes. Not exactly breaking news there.

Unless.

Unless the flooding isn't "natural". Unless it was done purposefully to create cheap, buy-up-able-farmlands. Think thats preposterous?

I dunno. What I DO know, is we are being told everything is fine and under control at the fukushima plant. And it isnt.

30,000 barrels of highly radioactive junk in very real danger of becoming airborne, and we're told everything's fine. And it isn't.

The nuke plant in nebraska on the flooding missouri river, is safe and sound. So long as none of the dams or levees upstream break, that is.

Uh-oh

So there you have it. Everything's just fine. Or not.

And you're more worried about what food to buy for the 4th of july weekend than you are what kind of mess you're going to be in if, for whatever reason, there is no more food to be bought.

And I'M the crazy one.

Ok by me, but you are what you eat, y'know.

smart meters

2011-06-22T09:58:00.004-04:00

Did you know there are people who wear tinfoil around their heads?
Did you know that I'm not one of them?

Smart meters are fancy little techno devices that connect your house and everything in it, to something esoterically called the smart grid. Well, if its smart, it HAS to ge good, right? and if something is called good, then it has to be good, right?
No, and no.
Smart meters will supposedly save money and electricity, by making your electricity usage viewable by the power companies and the powers that be, in real time. By doing so, they will be able to get rid of meter reader people, and their vehicles used to read your meters physically. That sounds reasonable. Unless of course you happen to be a meter reader or an automobile manufacturer/seller who makes part or all of your living off of reading said meters.
The meters are called smart, purposefully to automatically categorize those who oppose them, as less than smart. That in itself is ingenious, in a dastardly way. But thats the world we live in these days, the world of words.
By enabling the power companies and the powers that be access to individual energy usage, the theory is that.....(and this is the gov. of calif.'s sales pitch).....if we can know when power usage spikes, we can charge more for said power, thus automatically decreasing usage, and preventing rolling black outs.
But wait, it gets stupider. He said as an example, if usage increases during the hottest time of the day, when people will need their air conditioners, then rates can be increased to discourage wasteful usage of electricity.
Doesnt sound so smart when its said like that, does it?
Like, DUH! We KNOW usage will increase during heat waves and in the mornings and evenings, when most people statistically are home DOING STUFF. Why, if we already know this, do we need a radio transmitting (yep, ANOTHER electrical magnetic frequency) signal being sent through us to make our lives better. By knowing when power usage spikes, power companies can and will increase rates in an attempt to discourage over usage. They wont increase output to meet the demands of the customers, they will sock them when they are most vulnerable, and do it in the name of smartness or saving the planet or some other nonsense. AND, their profits will soar in the process.
Sounds like a win win, right?
Again, unless you are a meter reader, or some selfish planet hating neanderthal who isnt wiling to turn your air conditioner off when theres a heat wave.
Booooooooo!! BAD citizen!!!!

But thats just the UP side of the smart meters and the smart grid.
You see, the smart meters and smart appliances that are being manufactured and sold today, are able to transmit radio signals, as well as RECEIVE. That means, and you really are pretty naieve if you cant figure this one out on yur own, that all your smart-make-your-life-skip-to-my-lou-easier appliances can and will be controlled by someone other than you, the appliance owner.
I know, I know, enter the favorite stand by reply of non-smart people, "well, if you're not doing anything WRONG, then theres nothing wrong with the technology, RIGHT!?"

Let me ask you compliance nazis something.
Should WE, the united states of A., be bombing the country of Libya, because their leader is supposedly being mean and bad to those in his country that oppose him!?!?
I bet you think thats a stupid off topic question, but its exactly why you need me.
That country and their problems are their business. MY point is, OUR country and OUR leaders decided to bomb ther hell out of THEIR country, all in the name of humanity.
Imagine if a bomb went off in your neighborhood and there was some foreign leader on CNN proudly stating that you are being bombed because they decided it was in your and your country's best interest.
We are doing that, and we currently have leaders who are in charge of US doing that.
Now, who's the crazy one for not wanting this government in control of ANYTHING else in our personal lives!?!??
ME!?? Not hardly.
You believe what they tell you, even though they said the Libyan "kinetic action " would last days and not months. Even though they said there would be no ground troops there. (U.S.black ops troops have been there for months already and are most probably responsible for the "uprisings" in the very first place.) Even though they said we would be getting out of Iraq and Afghanistan.
Do you REALLY believe that ANYTHING they do is for your benefit or your freedom or the good of society?
Why? Upon what do you base that belief or trust?
Because it feels good and is sensible, is why. They, the people running this country, make sure that you believe WHAT you believe, for their benefit, not yours. Everything you see and hear in your daily life is to promote goodness and sensibility. Unless, of course, you're someone like me who searches out what the hell is really going on in the world.
As long as dancing with the stars is on and you can play farmville on facebook, and the fireworks displays are displayed on the 4th of july, you are a very managable herd.

I have taken the red pill folks*, and have awakened from the matrix that is our life and our country. Once you do, there is no going back. Once you realize how much we have been lied to, the lies are much easier to see.
Whats it going to take?
At what point are you willing to say "this doesn't add up?"

Hey, dont worry. After reading my tripe, go to a site called "good". Its smart and educated and reasonable and nice and earth friendly and progressive and ........oh yeah........their motto is "a collaboration of individuals, businesses, and non profits PUSHING the world forward".
I'm not trying to "push" anybody anywhere. I want you to wake up and see for yourselves. Their approach, is to push.
As in shove. As in down your throat. And, as in the article you can read there about smart meters, if you disagree, you aren't smart, and they're going to have to do something about that, too.

Some people are sensitive to the emf signals that smart meters and cell towers send out, and some of them are forced to emf proof their homes or their heads. Some, but not all. Some plants and and animals and insects too. Tomatos, bees and bats, f'rinstance, have all been studied and shown to react negatively to emf signals.
Some humans too. As in cancer. As in migranes. As in a slew of health issues directly related to emf signals.

But, as long as some mega power company can regulate what we can turn on and when, and how much we have to pay for that privelage, everything is honky-dory.

Just don't mess with my internet .

woops. I forgot to mention that one.
Some other day.

Go back to sleep. At this point, with SO much going on, you're probably better off and much happier burying your heads in the proverbial sand.

*this is a Matrix movie reference and in no way indicitave of me actually taking any real pills, so you can't run to your lawyer with this one either.*

news you can use

2011-06-16T09:13:00.003-04:00

and you sure as hell aren't getting it from your tv or facebook pages.

Fukushima Japan is a nightmare of unmeasurable proportions. Heres a story you wont see on cnn these days. You're not hearing any of the important news from japan, because another dimwitted U.S. congressman decided to take pictures of his private parts and send them to other than his wife type of women. Stop the presses eh? Or give this guy his own show on cnn too. It seemed to work out for Elliot Spitzer. Maybe Weiner can team up Spitzer and host the Weiner Spitzer hour. Or not. Has a nice ring to it though. Betcha Bill Clinton wouuld be a regular guest on it.

Oh, and a psychopathic woman from florida killed her daughter, so everybody has to focus all their efforts and thoughts on the court case. This morning, the 3 major network infotainment shows had the casey anthony story on, simultaneously. Naaaah. Its just coincidence. Only CRAZY people believe its done that way by design. Americans really DO want to hear about it.

Its no surprise that americans have no idea about the american nuclear reactor that is in a level four emergency state as we speak. Heres a short video about this story if you can drag yourself away from the weiner or psychopath stories..... Its being reported that the FAA declared the fort calhoun nebraska nuclear facility a "no fly zone", because, and I kid you not, of "high power lines at the site". Huh. A nuclear facility that stores spent (radioactive) fuel rods in below ground level pools, in UNCOVERED areas that may or may not be now part of the flooded missouri river, isn't allowing anyone to fly over the facility, because of high power lines. Yep, that makes perfect sense.
Hey, didja hear that casey anthony may or may NOT take the stand in her defense!?!?!? Wow, huh?

Oh, and then theres this . I dunno. Some official paranoid guy in Kansas (downriver from Nebraska), is warning kansas citizens against using, touching, allowing pets or livestock to contact, missouri river water. But flood waters are always contaminated. Its just that upriver states like montana, iowa and north and south dakota have folks in charge that aren't quite as on the ball as kansas. People in Kansas know this and joke about it all the time. They say things like "hey, how many montanans, north dakotans, or Iowans does it take to screw in a light bulb??" Discard this as well I suppose.

And, Kansans know all about casey anthony too.

Do me a favor. Look at this site. I'm pretty sure I've posted this before, but you've got to see whats going on while the world is all caught up with the new sunscreen labeling and all. This is NOT normal. Its as unusual as it appears to be.

Speaking of sunscreens, theres a reason why the media is bringing up this now. Yeah, another disaster is looming with the suns rays, but theres nothing to worry about because we have sunscreen to protect us and casey anthony to think about.

Far out? Thats nuthin. Ever heard of a brown dwarf star? You will.
You know, when publications like The Scientific American, use phrases like "potentially catastrophic consequences", you really should pay attention. Or not. What the hell.
This story is the biggest of the lot, and the biggest part of it is this. A nasa conspiracy? Doesnt get any better than this folks. This one is OUT there. Literally. Yes, this last link is a lengthy read, and it will take you away from the Weiner photos and CSI90210, but it will be time well wasted. Now take those last two links and watch this one. a NASA email sent to all NASA employees.

Its all about timing folks.

I could go on for hours, but your attention probably crapped out at the mention of fukushima. If there are no pictures on cnn of glowing sushi, we're not going to pay attention to any silly words here.

Hey, farmville has new features.

Gotta go.

Yikes

2011-05-29T12:23:00.003-04:00

Heres a question for you(se). What do these 10 people have in common?

1: Jesse James.

2: Franklin D. Roosevelt.

3: Johann Sebastian Bach.

4: H.G. Wells.

5: Thomas Jefferson

6: Albert Einstein. (yikes, this list isn't going as I planned it would.....)

7: Charles Darwin (okay, now its getting back to the direction I'd hoped...)

8: Edger Allen Poe.

9: Jerry Lee Lewis. (Yeah, zippity doo dah down crazy lane....)

10: Rudy Giuliani. (No, thats not a picture of a young giuliani. Although.................)

Betcha can't guess what these famous people have in common. Not in a zillion years.

You know, someone once told me that I need to shut up, calm down and listen if I ever wanted to learn ANYTHING. To which I responded, SHUT UP, flailing my arms while shouting YOU DON'T KNOW NUTHIN!, and then plugged my ears with my fingers. I think I was 7. Or maybe 27.

It took a while for the advice to sink in, but it has to an extent, and the advice is holding true.

Guess what happened?

I started to learn things.

Go figure.

Curiouser and curiouser.

The times they are a-changin......

2011-05-25T22:12:00.005-04:00

....and I can't even keep up with half of them.
Most of the three people who read this site know about HAARP and its potential, as explained by its primary developer, Bernard Eastland. It is a weather weapon of sorts,
thats not incapable, theoretically, of inflicting disasters of the natural type, upon anyone the powers that be deem deserving.
Lets take a trip backwards down memory lane, to 9-11-01. FEMA scheduled and organized a terrorist preparation exercise to take place in NYC, on 9-11-01. Gee, thats kinda goose-bumpy, isn't it? But wait, theres more.
Seems that the British powers that be, planned a similar terrorist preparation drill, on 7-7-05. But theirs happened to be a drill that focused on the potential terrorist attack on a London subway. Want to guess where the "terrorists" hit, on 7-7-05? In a subway?

You're not going to believe this, but wait, there's more.
Remember the Madrid train bombings? You know, the ones where more crazed "muslim extremists" blew up innocent passengers in Spain's train system??
Do I have to tell you?
Ok.
It was on 3-11-04. Want to guess what day the Spanish government scheduled an anti terrorist preparedness drill, specifically dealing with a potential train bombing!?!?!?

Oh, and want to guess the date of the Fukishima earthquake? Want to know what ELSE haarp is potentially capable of (according to its primary developer)??
3-11-11. And earthquakes.

The dates are significant, but thats a long post for another time. Your three little boogered up minds can only handle so much info at one time. The dates have to do with a guy named aliester crowley, and he is significant indeed in whats happening in today's world, regardless of whether or not you've heard of him or believe what he is all about.

There was another emergency preparedness exercise planned, and this one was in the good ole U.S. of A. It was for last week, and it was for a region called the"New Madrid Faultline region of the U.S. Unless youre a prepper or a truther or a very non-mainstream-media- informed-type individual, you don't have a clue what the new madrid faultline is.

Lemme connect some dots for you.
Bernard Eastland, the guy who took Nicola Teslas writings (that the U.S. government seized after his death) and expanded and expounded upon them to create what is now the U.S. air force and navy run HAARP project, said HAARP is very much indeed a weather weapon, to say the least. The least.
From the guy who developed the dam thing, not from some crazed three fan lunatic on the web.

So FEMA schedules a disaster preparedness exercise for mid may in 2011. Remember the track record of governments scheduling drils and exercises people. It ain't coincidence.
And its no coincidence that this spring has tornado and DEATH from those tornados levels that are exponentially above averages, since averages have been kept.
What that means, is that the average number of deaths from tornados in the united states, annually, is around 50.
This year, as of yesterday (when the 1500 MISSING people from the Joplin, Mo. tornado are still not considered dead), the death toll was 499.
As compared to the average of 50.
We have two statistics that Ive heard myself, just from watching the weather channel.
We have the single highest death toll from a tornado, ever, and we have the longest "on ground" tornado, ever. Over 200 miles on theground by a single tornado. Which, by the way, happened to be the largest variety of tornados, an F-5.
Now if you believe that its coincidence that there was a terrorist drill scheduled on 9-11, and on 7-7, and on 3-11, AND that one was scheduled for NOW, when the midwest is being obliterated one town at a time, then you might as well go watch dancing with the stars or american idol or go play farmville, because we have nothing in the least in common.

Theres a lot more coming, and its coming very soon. Do what you wish. You have a computer, you can check out everything I've said.
And after you refuse to do so, you can indeed go and check out your bank balances and your facebook pages, because that will certainly take your minds off of the musings of one lone crazed rogue internet commando. But its still coming.

Oh. One more thing.
Lookie here (please).
When you get to this site, go to the real time U.S. map. I want you to look at the global map too, but wait till you look at the U.S. map, especially california and alaska.
Now I have been looking at this map daily since 3-11. The numbers have been increasing almost daily.

Its coming, and you'd have to be a head in the sand fool to not see it. Its coming, and its not accidental. Lookit that north america map. Look at the number of quakes in california and alaska. Look.

Then look at Canada.

Tell me what you see.

Look at Alaska, then look at the whole of canada.

Tell me I'm nuts.
You can if you'd like. I don't care anymore. I can see it. Just cuz you can't doesn't make me nuts.
Our world, YOUR world, is over. Its about to change like you can't even imagine. You can see whats going to happen, and read and learn from those who KNOW and have been saying its going to change, or you can click on facebook and play farmville or mafia wars or whatever you do there.

If you can look at those maps and say "oh its ALWAYS been like this...." then you get what you deserve. If by chance you get the urge to search what people like this are saying, it might change how you see everything.

Everything is about to change.

What to do.

2011-02-04T21:45:00.002-05:00

The one question that comes up from damn near everyone I've talked to in the past few years, has been, "well, what should we DO about all this....?"

Have you bought food yet? Not food cuz tom clark said its gonna snow tomorrow.
I mean food because you might not be able to afford it beyond much longer........
Food prices are climbing, just as it was predicted and repeated by me, for the past few years.
They are going to increase exponentially from here on out, and you must act NOW.
If you dont have enough canned food to feed your family for a MONTH, at least, then SHAME on you.

Go out and get it.
You need protein, starch, and veggies and fruits .
Do the math, use your imagination and get it while you can.

Get something to PROTECT that food supply.
If you think you can stave off a starving horde (like we are seeing in egypt and tunisia), with a frickin golf club, then practice up swinging it.
And pretend to dodge bullets while you're doing it. *hint*.

I am responsible for my kids, and thats pretty much it.
You are responsible for your family.
The banks are going to close, and you are not going to be able to access your money via debit cards or withdrawls. Plan for it.
If you don't, its your fault at this point.
Food is going to be scarce, maybe due to shortages and hoarding, maybe due to hyper inflation where you wont be able to BUY it, because it will cost ridiculous amounts of money.
This, is going to happen, and it is going to happen sooner rather than later. Not because I say it, but because a million INTELLIGENT people who have been paying attention to world events, say it is going to happen.
Our country, our way of life, our lifestyle, is over. The dollar is going to collapse, again, sooner rather than later, and when that happens, your lifestyle goes with it.

Ive posted links before, and I've warned and sang and begged you to listen for years now.
That time is past.
Ok, ONE more time.

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI-BIVWlc7A

Are you watching whats happening in egypt and yemen and elsewhere in the world?
We are not free and clear anymore. It is not " oh thats over THERE and we're safe over HERE."
We are not what we think we are, because we and our money are not what we used to be. Our dollar, our economy, and our culture is in a race to see who can get to the bottom of the worthless pit the fastest.
Its a tie at this point.
Doesn't matter who wins it.
We all will lose.
Bad.

MAYBE, there will be a government agency (god help us if its fema) that maintains a sense of normalcy and order when the race ends, but my guess is that if it does, it will be AFTER a period of complete and total societal breakdown .
THAT, is what I've been harping and preaching about for the past few years.

Are you prepared for that?

I'm not by any stretch of the imagination, but I know I'm not going to stare blankly and hyperventilate when my cell phone or my atm card doesnt work.
What are you going to do?
What in the hell are you going to do if we are right in our assesments of events?
Go where some government clown with a bullhorn tells you to go???
They are the goddam reason it IS going to breakdown!!!!

Look at what is happening in Egypt.
SIX days of unrest, and neighborhoods had to set up vigilante groups to protect their own, their little neighborhoods.
SIX frickin days of what appeared to be not-so-extreme protests against the government.
SIX frickin days.

Take a look up and down your street. Think your neighbor Bill the CPA and Jody the mail carrier, armed with flashlights and a stick, can protect YOUR family against roving gangs???
If you're willing to answer yes, or STUPID enough to believe that the "police" will be here to protect your family, than click off this site now. You're not doing either of us any good.

Its up to YOU, and god forbid if and when it comes here, the last thought in your mind right before you scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!...is going to be "god DAMN, that idiot was right.

I am.

And You know it.

Things are going to get very difficult financially at first, most probably starting with surging gas, oil and energy in general, prices.
Those will in turn effect everything else in society, and quite substantially, and it will be all downhill from there.
Once the gas prices surge, which will happen overnight, it will prevent you from "waiting till the last moment to react and get what you need". It will be a downward spiral in which you will be merely swept away, not able to move, react, or avoid it.

Get ready NOW, and pay attention NOW.

Please.

I'm begging you.

state of the union

2011-01-26T08:12:00.002-05:00

all aboard folks. Next stop, crazytown.
No, I'm not going to link any MSNBC clips. I watched that network last night, and listened to their comments regarding the state of the union speech.
THOSE people are nuts.
And thats coming from ME.

I'm going to point out the more subtle messages you are being given, that you dont even know ARE "messages".
Before the speech last night, ABC played what could only be called a pre-game hype promo. People holding signs with three-word messages, on them regarding the upcoming (much anticipated/hyped) State Of The Union address. One of the messages, said, "Don't Fear China".

Think about that.

Think about that.
These placards supposedly represented questions/comments/anxieties of the american public. Comments that ABC chose to represent what the American people were worried/thinking about.

"Don't Fear China".

Now, I have a pocketful of tickets for the crazytown express if you'd like one, but instead of offering you a ticket here, I want you to THINK about why ABC would include that message, at that time. In that manner.

A.D.D. time.

Yesterday, a story on ALL the news networks (I KNOW, because I watch ALL of them), was the anticipated escalating costs of Heart disease.
Today, on ALL the networks, was the story about the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland.
Dr. Sanjay Gupta (?) of CNN had a little piece today regarding Davos and the conference.
His commment?

How ALL the world has to get a handle on things like "the rising costs of treating heart disease".
He said that the world needs to consider methods such as prevention and lifestyle changes to offset those anticipated rising costs of treatment.

Now, you may think that sounds reasonable, but then again, you dont have a ticket, do ya?
There isnt going to be a noble proclamation SUGGESTING that you alter your lifestyle and diets for the good of the healthcare budget.
No no no. Your diet, is going to be controlled just as sinisterly as your choice of lightbulbs will be/is.
Think thats silly?
You KNOW that you wont be able to buy regular incandescent lightbulbs after next year, right?
Oh, You really BELIEVE that those pig tail lightbulbs are REALLY about stopping global warming????
(and you think I'M crazy............)
Its about money, and the bajillion dollars that GE has made to date selling them.
And its about control, and getting you do do whateverthehell they want.
You're stupid enough to believe that incandescent lightbulbs are wrecking the planet (please spare me the junk science connect the dot chain between lightbulbs and global warming), so if they can get you to obey their demands to not use or buy incandescent lightbulbs, then they can get you to not eat meat or twinkies for the good of the health care planet.

They led with the story yesterday about the anticilated rising costs of heart disease, and today round two was the davos conference, in which those costs were discussed.

My point is, the message about the rising costs of heart disease was not accidental, nor was it "news".
It was a message, just like the placard on the state of the union pre game show.
"don't fear china".

THATS scary.
The message masters' message of "don't fear china", gives me nothing BUT fear.
The United Nations said not only that, but that china was , "THE MODEL SOCIETY FOR THE WORLD".

Huh.
10 year olds working 14 hr days in slave labor compounds, 85% of that country living below the U.N.'s poverty line, water they can't drink and air they can't breathe, getting arrested if they (when they were able ) google the word "freedom"......yeah, sounds like your basic Sandals resort.
Don't tell me about their economic prosperity.
300 million comparitively wealthy chinese citizens is not the real statistic.
There are over a billion chinese citizens.
Most of them live in abject poverty.
And the United Nations says its the model society for the world.

"don't fear china".
From the people that say china is a swell place to live.

Fear what china is.
Learn what china is.
And learn to listen to the messages you're being given. If you learn to open your eyes and minds, you'll see what you are being told, and why.

Government mind control!?!?!?

2011-01-13T17:53:00.005-05:00

http://michael-robinett.com/declass/c000.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i46RI2twVao

http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/view/127883

Thats about 30 seconds of searching on my part, but I have an idea where to look for such things.
Most of you dont have a clue, and worse than that, bite the sooundbyte from the news today that the arizona gunman was a wack job conspiracy theorist who believed in government mind control programs.

Last night's memorial service/pep rally/presidential rating bump/t shirt giveaway was about as good of an example of propaganda (mind control, shaping people's opinions via staged orchestrated events) as you will see.
Today, sworn enemies like rush limbaugh and msnbc are all rallying behind the "off with the heads of the conspiracy theorists!!!!!" battle cry. Rush said the shooter was one of those wackos ( or some sort of term) who believes in nonsense like the movie "Zeitgeist". My paraphrase, but that is a pretty close quote. Rush went so far as to mention conspiracy theorists who "believe the nonsense that global bankers are directing what happens in our country..."
"deranged". "wack-jobs". Like the shooter, the whole lot of em are THE problem with our nation today. The rabble rousers. The conspiracy theorists. Beyond the tea partiers, its the NUTTY people like ron paul who say things that just CANT be true.

People who believe that our government is involved in mind control programs are......well.........nutty.
Right?

RIGHT?

You tell me. I knew from the git-go last night when Obama took the stage like a rock star, at a frickin memorial service, that this was no ordinary memorial service. But thats just me.
I posted three links that will take up about 10 minutes of your life if you choose to read/watch them. In them, are government documents and congressional hearings and washington newspaper reports of government mind control programs dating back to the 50's.
My point?
The shooter was mad, but not wrong about government mind control programs.
See the difference?
See the propoganda in lumping the two together?
See the message meant for the masses?
Thats how it works, and what we, you, this country, is up against. They have to shape the minds of those who MIGHT join the swelling ranks of the 9-11 truthers.
9-11 truthers are gaining in numbers, and in people who you cant just shoo away with a sweep of the conspiracy theorist wand.
Evidence is coming out daily that just blows to smithereenes the official account of what happened and why, on 9-11.

Like this. http://buildingwhat.org/

The "building what" movement. Ive mentioned it here before but its something that people really need to see and understand.
47 story buildings dont just collapse in their own footprint for no reason.
If they (the government) lied about why building 7 collapsed on 9-11 when it wasnt touoched by anything, then why believe everything they say about the rest of the days events?
Such as the pentagon, and the fact that not a single tourist or resident of D.C. had their cameras with them on 9-11, to get a shot of the 757 that flew a hundred feet off the deck across part of the city. Or that there were no aircraft parts retrieved from the pentagon. Or the fact that the FBI confiscated all the video footage from the 200+ cameras that belong to the pentagon, that had been in operation that day.
Yeah, it all makes perfect sense and anyone who questions the government version is just trouble.
CAPITAL T rouble.Why look what people who believe that kind of stuff DO.............

I USED to be a yankee doodle dandy. Believing that America the Beautiful was everything that was good and decent in the world, and that America the Beautiful (the government) always held its citizens' best interests at heart.

I know better now.
This Government, the federal reserve, is purposefully devaluing our dollar, and deliberately putting into motion events that will at some near point cause hyper inflation, which will result in an economic tsunami the likes of which neither Jim nor Cosmo Cramer can begin to comprehend.
The results of 9-11 were wars that neither end nor lessen. The Patriot act and nonsensical decrees like mandating full body x-ray scans at airports (and soon EVERYWHERE), TSA agents sticking their hands INSIDE your pants, all in the name of "protecting you"............Is whats insane.

Lemme ask you something.
IF mean old muslims terrorists really DID mastermind and were totally responsible for 9-11, and if they were able to blow the hell out of THOUSANDS of military vehicles in countries that our military OCCUPIED, then DONTCHA think that they would have been able to pull off ONE frickin similar type bombing right here in the land of the free and the home of the unprotected!?!?!?!?!?

REALLY????? Ten goddam years and not ONE attack here, but where there are a hundred and fifty thousand of our soldiers, they have pulled off thousands!?!?!?!?

And that makes sense to ANYONE!?!?!?

Think, people.
I know, I know, I didnt, and worse, supported and believed whole heartedly for longer and more intensely than many of you, the party line that we america are the good guys, and the evil terrorists are the bad guys.
But every year that went on past 9-11, and with every law that got passed which did NOTHING to prevent actual terrorist attacks, I grew skeptical.
There was and is something else going on, and now I can see what that is.
9-11 was no different than the staged event that was known as the Gulf Of Tonkin Incident, which propelled us more than any other single event, into the vietnam war. Declassified documents now show IT to be a staged false flag event.
No different that the attack on pearl harbor, in which the very real japanese navy did indeed attack our naval base on Hawaii.
BUT. We knew it was going to happen. http://www.thenewamerican.com/index.php/history/american/2482-pearl-harbor-a-true-day-of-infamy

6 months prior to that attack, a washington dc newspaper surveyed america and found that 90%of americans were against joining in the war.
That was AFTER our ally France had fallen to Germany, and our other large ally Britian was in danger of invasion and teeting on the brink of disaster.
Americans still said "nyet"
Then, 6 months later, and a short time after japan attacked pearl harbor, the paper did another survey, in which 99% of those polled were in FAVOR of joining the war effort.

Go back to the first world war where the sinking of the british ship Lusitania (her guts loaded with munitions for the war effort), was sunk off the coast of Ireland. Up to that point, americans as a vote were staunchly against entering the war "over there". That event more than any other changed opinions of american voters, and we entered world war one with public support if not overwhelming, strong because of that ship being sunk. Theories abound, like with every event in history it seems, that perhaps the german navy were not the ones who sunk it. But rather the brits themselves. That conspiracy theory is irrelevent here, what matters is that an event tthe Germans warned would happen, happened, and it changed war opinions of americans.
Oh, and the lusitania was sent into known enemy patrolled waters without any escort.
But thats irrelevent.

Wars are a great money making event and a great economy booster. My fear now is the economic swirlee we're THIS close to, might be construed as a good time to wage the war of wars, to offset the economic crash of crashes.

Wars are great for the economy, so long as they're fought somewhere else. Not so much if your country is the one being blown back to the stone age.

My point of tonights rant?

Somalia has 2.5 million people on the verge of starvation, and our government took the time and effort to print out 14 thousand goddam t shirts and stage a political propoganda rally.
Cuz 6 people got shot by a madman.

6 people. So what. One was a politician. So what.

30 thousand murders on the mexican border last year, and we're cheering our hearts out for a speech giver just across the border.
2 and a half million somalies are about to starve, and damn near every news person in the country is standing in front of the flowers and balloons placed near the site of the shooting, and commenting ad nauseum about any possible thing they can remotely associate with the shooting in arizona.

Like the stores opening for the first time since the shooting.

God we are so screwed.

But watch out for those conspiracy theorists, they're nuts y'know.

point counterpoint

2011-01-12T19:14:00.003-05:00

So Oreilly says on his show that its factually obvious that it wasnt political rhetoric that caused the shooting in arizona. And his viewers all agree. Its why they watch him. He preaches to his choir, for the most part.
Oberman, says its indisputable that the current air of inflamatory rhetoric contributed in no small part to the shooting. And his viewer nodded her head in agreement. But even Oberman's mom had to dig deep to agree on this one.
Heres the phrase that you will notice (now that I told you to notice it). "reasonable gun laws".
This phrase is as old as the anti gun movement itself, in fact it was outlined as THE talking point of choice by the leaders of the anti gun movement. After all, reasonable folks cant oppose REASONABLE laws, can they?
Sounds good on the surface, but unfortunately, thats where most of the people swim. On the surface. In the world of news via good morning america. And, THEY get to define what reasonable, is.
Heres a little something to digest. If complete and total gun bans don't work, (like the current law they now enjoy in MeHico.........), then how in the bloody hell does any REASONABLE person expect them to work, here????
Have you seen (even on GMA) the murder rate in mexico lately???
The whole goddam northern mexican border is like one big episode of the Sopranos.
But I suppose we're a more reasonable lot than those mexicans, so LAWS would make all the difference in this country.
Right??

Idiocy. Nothing short of blithering idiocy.
But thats not even the worst part.
Swooping in to remove guns from americans hands isnt anything new, but what is, is the growing percentage of stupid americans who actually BELIEVE that a new law or a reasonable law will prevent crimes and acts of insanity like this from EVER happening again.
The number of sheep that this country is producing nowadays is staggering, and much to the glee of our good friends Russia and China.
And another thing.
A national mourning service.
Really?
Can you imagine being an Afghan citizen,where 6 of your fellow countrymen get blown to bits by a very impersonal, but very un-insane American Military drone on a damn near daily basis??
Oh, but at least you get an apology via the american news ticker on the bottom of the cnn broadcast.
You dont get what I'm saying do you?
Betcha the Hatians in those corrugated alluminum cities are all broken up over this shooting arent they?
Or how about the family of mexican police officers?
Missing Mexican police officer's heads are as difficult to come across as spines and brains in american politicians.
I bet the families of the 30 thousand or so murdered citizens (LAST YEAR) are all choked up over the weekend over the 6 americans who were gunned down by a frickin madman.
6.
30 thousand. In the past frickin year.
Whats OUR solution?? I mean besides the kumbayah singing hand holding- pathetic speech giving on the house and senate floors????

LETSCHANGEOURLAWS!!!!!!! WE CANT SAY ANYTHNG MEAN ANYMORE!!!!!! WE CANT HAVE GUNS CUZ SOME POLITICIAN MIGHT GET SHOT!!!!

Actually,( and I know I run the risk of my idiot sister in law turning me in an attempt to have me straight jacketed in the current political climate).........
THAT, is precisely what the founding fathers had in mind when they armed the citizenry.
No, not for nutjobs to be able to kill a politician he was obsessed with and in some wierd form of what he thought was love.............like this latest case.

It was in case the government (i.e. POLITICIANS) who completely disregard the constitution and/or the will and wishes of the people, who after ALL other methods and attempts have been exhausted, can if necessary, be run out on a rail. By force. Their words, not my interpretation. Thomas Jefferson actually suggesting overthrowing the government ev ery 50 years, just to keep em honest.

Sheep dont understand that.
And we, are a nation of sheep.
Doubt that?

What makes you more upset, China saying they will no longer purchase any more of our debt, Or Our government airing the possibility of confiscation of at least a percentage of american's 401's? The latter is going to be one of the results of the former, but people will be more upset (understandably) by being told that their precious retirement cache isnt so safe or guaranteed after all. Patrially because they havent been explained to by the fluffy haired folks on good morning america, what exactly china dumping our dollar means. Too many distractions on the surface, what with dancing with the stars and lindsay lohan and all. Who has time to understand china and our dollar if they DONT tell us about it on good morning america?!?!?!?! Geeze freedom is hard to live with.
Oh, and in case you werent aware, our government did confiscate citizens monies before. The same time they closed banks, limited people from accessing the money they had in those banks, and confiscated the gold americans held in their possession.
They're going to take your 401, and you wont give a tinkers dam to what a fuckhead like me says about this. You'll trust the experts, just like they want you to. I understand. Who WANTS to think "negatively" anyways? Nutty people, thats who.

Be "positive" like that expert Cramer on tv. You know, the stock market with his own tv show, who was blindsided by the market crash in 08. You know, the expert who is selling everyone these days on being positive and trusting in the market. Yeah, that guy.
This stupid ass dirt merchant read warnings in may of 08. I posted what Ive read and heard, but the expert with the nation wide tv show??

babka.

But back to the original thought of the moment.
27 thousand people are attending the memorial service tonight, and to me it looks like one great big political distraction rally.
The cheers for the president as he took the stage sounded more like a rock concert than a memorial service.

Really? Cheering??
Screaming like its a Big Time Rush Concert?????

REALLY??????
And I'M the crazy one!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

We are so screwed.

Do me a favor. Google anything regarding Juarez Mexico.
THEN join the talking heads on tv who are so traumatized by the shooting of 6 americans in Arizona.

arizona shooting

2011-01-10T17:00:00.003-05:00

What do you think? Think its terrible? Welcome to humanity. Way to go out on a limb.
So what else do you think? Do you think, like some who are saying on the airwaves, that this shooting was caused by "incendary political rhetoric?"
Really? Thats insane, and insulting. When was the last time you attended a political rally, or leafed through a political leaflet, where you heard things like "shoot the bastards, especially the 9 year old girls in the audience" !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I heard today from someone with nothing but good in her heart, that this could have been prevented "if the shooter didnt have so much ammunition at his disposal".
I suppose having 12 or 9 bullets woould have meant a lower injury/fatality list, but really, is THAT the problem here? Not the loon who got kicked out of college cuz he scared the bejeesus out of people there.......or it couldnt have anything to do with the loon (with the gun) who had satanic worship and voodoo shrines in his backyard, could it??
Nope, its cuz sarah palin said ..........um...............something about fiscal responsibility and about returning this nation to its constitutional basis.

Yep, THOSE words made me want to go out and get a gun and a bunch of ammo and start blastin.

This is one of those events that makes my head spin. Not because of the insanity and the indescribable horror of it, but because of what EVERYBODY is on tv saying.
Its the teaparty. Or its the flaming rhetoric present in politics today.
Get this straight from me. Im no teaparty or a sarah palin fanclub member. Nor am I any longer a member of the republican or democratic parties. They're all a pack of retards, taking us to the same place, IMHO. To complete and total destruction. Think I'M the stupid one? Think all we need is "a good conservative leader like ronald reagan again????"
Did Reagan stop the problem at the border when it was just a large leak? Nope. Did he shrink govt. like his fans said he did? Nope. He gave us the dept of education that we can be so proud of, in fact. The dept that a woman named charlotte iserbyt wrote about in her book, "the deliberate dumbing down of america." Check out her videos on youtube. She understands the damage to this country the dept of ed. has done, and she knows better than ANYONE, what the results of reagans programs were.
Her book is damn long on the subject, and I suspect most wont even have the patience for a few minute youtube video, but....................its there.

My point is its not a conservative versus liberal thing. Its a madman thing. Same as Jeffery dahmer. Same as son of sam. B2K. You get the idea. But a politician was killed. A WOMAN politician, a little innocent girl and 4 others, including a very good, very conservative, judge. A horrible tragedy, to be sure. But why is it the ONLY news story, in a world full of news. thirtyleven news stations, and everydamn one of em is doing the same story, with basically the same views, talking points, and people giving them. This isnt 9-11 folks. Its a tragedy to be sure, but is it the ONLY story in the world right now?? Really??

I'll tell you something else. Something happened on 9-10-01. Want to know what that was?
Donald Rumsfeld held a press conference, in which he stated that the pentagon was "missing between 2 and 3 TRILLION dollars".
Huh. 2-3 trillion dollars unaccounted for.
The next day, 9-11, made everybody forget about rumsfeld's press conference, didnt it?
Not to mention that the pentagon got hit with the invisible jet that left no debris, and in the city with probably more video cameras than any other city in america, there is not one picture of the 757 that did manuevers difficult for a fighter pilot to duplicate in a flight simulator, before it hit the pentagon.
Did you digest that?
And, it hit the pentagon, and everybody forgot about that pesky little accounting snafu. And some Hajji who trained in piper cubs maneuvered a 757 in ways that a fighter pilot would be hard pressed to accomplish.
But I digress.

A hundred thousand dead fish in arkansas. 2 MILLION dead fish in the chesapeke. 4 to 5 thousand birds fall from the sky in arkansas, and their insides (guts) were liquified. Huh. Thousands of birds drop out of the sky in It-ly, but we are all ok because officials there said it was because of "overeating". Yeah. Nothing to see here folks. Buncha fat stupid birds too stupid before they went up in the air. Should have waited 20 minutes like their mommy birds told them. Not to mention the dead birds in Louisiana, the dead crabs in England, etc.
No, I'm not saying that birds and fish are more important than people, even a congressperson people.
I'm saying that like rumsfelds 3 trillion disappeariing dollars, the dead bird story is relegated to the idiots on local talk radio who joke about it and throw up their hands saying, I guess it COULDA been lightning or fireworks........WHO KNOWS?!?!?
Yeah. Who knows. Worse yet, who cares. We're now gonna have tributes, speeches, hand holding kumbayah sessions all across the country. Ad infinitum.

But wait, theres more.

Its amazing how fast we can be side tracked.
Not only that, but with this new side track, some politicians are calling for new speech laws. Laws that will "protect us from future events like this".( Gee, Ive heard that tune before) The patriot act ring any bells? You know, all those wonderful new laws meant to "protect us"????
Yeah. Eerily similar, isnt it?

With protecting like this, who needs enemies???

Any speech that can in ANY way incite some retard like the guy in arizona to do something BAD, has to be outlawed...........tooooooooo be described and determined by the offendee.
That means, that is someone (some politician) says your opposition to him/her or your language to him/her is too strong, its off to the gulag for you.

But at least we'll all be safe.

Safety's overrated folks. So are politicians.
And they cant protect you from crazy people.

happy new year

2011-01-01T14:54:00.002-05:00

Yippee. Do any of you have ANY idea whas in store?
Well, since most already consider me nutty as frickin peanut brittle, here goes.

I bought a junky 11 year old car last summer, because of what the even nuttier people I listen to said was coming regarding gasoline prices.
Last july, the prediction/declaration was, 3 dollar a gallon gas by christmas, (ahem), and 5 to 7 dollar a gallon gas by the following summer. On New Years eve day, CNN fired the first salvo in that realm, softening up the zombie viewers to the possibility of 5 dollar a gallon gas.

Their story was that it was a POSSIBILITY, SOMEDAY, and maybe as soon as 2012. Thats how these things work. At first, the story is just leaked out in dribs and drabs. Because it seems, the general public doesnt handle shock very well. The reader-ette doing the story said something retarded like "Oh well that'll stink. But we'll see" .
Yeah, we'll see. Just another news story. Process it with the "oh well we'll see" philosophy. Its what they want you to do. Nothing. Maybe wait till june to try to buy a gas saving vehicle. But hey, we warned you all about it.
Also on new years eve day, I watched an interview with peter schiff on msnbc, or cnbc. Or xyznbc. I dunno. Anyways, a panel of "experts" in The Market, sat there and basically laughed off peter schiffs warnings and predictions. Why? His are dire, and theirs are what you hear no matter WHERE you look. "Oh the market will rebound. It ALWAYS does." Or worse yet, "the economy IS on the rebound".
Its not, and it wont. Not this time. That was Schiff's warnings. Its NOT the same old, not even a worser version of the same old same old.
What we are in the midst of, has NEVER been experienced in this country, or in the history of the world. Schiff's been saying this for a few years now. Cute. The panel couldnt accept the possibilitry that all was not well in Oz.
30 seconds after Schiff left them, the panel went back to what they say ALL the time. What everybody says. Stay the course. Diversify. Invest for the long term.
Idiotic advice from experts who cant see the evidence in front of their noses.
Yeah I know, more doom and gloom from me. Hell, I've been glooming the world for a couple years now. Thats WAAAAAAAY too long for the farmville playin facebook obsessed with retarded society we live in today. Gotta show em something NOW, and, it beter be shiney info too.
The federal reserve, OUR federal reserve, is deliberately devaluing the dollar, and continues to do so, even though a few loons like Peter Schiff and Ron Paul are trying to inform the public of their actions.
Russia, China, and Germany, (to name a few) have stated that they are "moving away from using the dollar as the world currency". You dont understand what that means, because you dont know that oil is traded in dollars. That means, that even China has to convert its currency and buy dollars to buy the gazillions of barrels of oil that its economy needs. Well, they just decided that they are not going to do that in the future.
The near future.
You still dont get it. WHEN that happens, and loony experts like Lindsey Williams say it might be late next spring, gas goes to 7 bucks a gallon, in one day, to start. Not IF, but WHEN.
"Oh if this were true, it would be in the news."
It IS in the news, but not the mind numbing stuff you watch/read.
Let me explain what Ive learned.
The republicans vs democrats bullshit is all FAKE. The conservatives versus liberal rift that has literally split this country in two, is fake. Oh the political views of people is real, but whats done with it is not.
Its all manufactured. Precisely to do what it is doing. Keeping americans at odds with each other. Keping their focus on the false enemy. Each other.
Now Im going to ask you to open up your mind.
The parties and the politicians dont run the country, make the rules, or even write the bills that get passed.
Corporations, mainly large banks, their interests, and their people, do. Same with the news you see/hear. All spun and processed for a purpose. Say Baaaaaaaaaah. Foxnews was started precisely because people werent watching cnn anymore. They were leaving in droves, so billionaire buildeburger media genius rupert murdoch starts fox news to keep the straying masses in check and in their pens. And to make a boatload of bucks in the process.
Give em the same shit, just put a SLIGHTLY different pitch to it.
Watch both networks and you tell ME what the diference is between the two. There isnt one. But, there IS a perception that there is. Thats all thats needed. Sheep food.

One event has changed how I view everything now. No, not being married to a loon.
9-11.
No WAY in hell it was what we are being told it was. No way in hell. The only evidence you need amongst the million of facts that you could research, is building #7, and its fate.
Or, as the judge in the 9-11 responder's trial called it, "building WHAT?"
Yeah, building what. Google that too. Building what.
A building not touched by anything, comes crashing down. Demolition style. Just like the two towers that were hit by jets 7/8ths of the way up their length.
Building seven wasnt touched by ANYTHING, and it came crashing down.

I know, I know, conspiracy theory nonsense.
Yeah, nonsense.
Know what I call nonsense?
Believeing a 40 story concrete and steel building comes crashing down because.......well....because they SAID it came crashing down.
Just google "building 7 collapse" and watch a few of those videos. Maybe watch the BBC's report of building 7's collapse BEFORE it collapsed. Now THATS what I call good reporting.
Once you cross that threshold and believe what really happened, everything changes. Your eyes will be opened. You will understand that the carrier groups were moved in position to attack afghanistan a month BEFORE 9-11, that the patriot act passed because of 9-11, was done so to strip american "patriots" of their freedoms, not to protect them. It NEVER would have passed without the staged terror act.
Once you open up your mind, you are able to understand why NORAD had issued a stand down order for all fighter interceptors on 9-11.
From there, you understand why the war in Iraq was not only unnecessary, but just a stage, a training ground. And a money maker.
Ever heard of Blackwater security? Not before 9-11, thats for sure.
They became pretty famous during and after the Iraqi war, didnt they? Now, they are part of the "civilian security force just as well funded and trained as our military" that prez Obama spoke of. A security force used to "protect americans at home". Yeah, like the patriot act protects our freeedom. A organization that came to be, because of the iraq war, and 9-11.
Let me ask you something. If we were indeed in danger of evil radical terrorists striking us, dontcha think its a LITTLE important to maybe put some barbed wire or somegoddamthing, on the very open US/Mexico border? Do ya THIINK that maybe mexican drug cartels having total control of the border area, is maybe a BAD idea?
Yeah, but politicians keep coming up with ideas as to why we CANT secure our border to the south. Up north? Heaven help you if you buy cuban cigars in canada and try to smuggle them across. Its curtains for you friend. Border patrol boats are a regular scene up on lake ontario these days. You know, in case the radical muslim terrorist navy/salmon fishing fleet ever tries to make their attack on Watertown NY. Yeah, we're in good hands.
And STILL, people believe what they're told. Right up to the point they're ordered into the boxcars.

Understand this. The soldiers arent the enemy. The individual politicians arent the enemies.
The people ordering /directing them, are.
People you never even hear or heard of. Now there comes a point when the politicians and the foot soldiers ARE responsible for their actions, but we're not going to dissect that animal here, now.

I dont believe in the republican or democratic parties anymore. I dont believe we've had a "real" president since.......well, since JFK, at least.
No, not even Reagan. One act of lowering a tax rate does not a patriot make. He, like every president in the past 50 years, has kept the country chugging in the same direction. Towards globalism. Reagan appointing Bush Sr to VP, and then later basically handing him the baton of the presidency, says all you need to know. Conservatives, moderates, liberals.....its all nonsense. Bush Sr was chosen by Reagan. Bush Sr was THE president that made REAL and public proclamations and executive orders promoting global government. Bush Sr was supposedly hand picked by the most conservative of conservative leaders this country had in that century, and HE hands the country over in ONE term, to an admitted globalist. Reagan's worshipped by people who wrap themselves in the U.S. constitution, and he hands the country over to someone who is a bonafide globalist. Thats someone whos NOT in favor of the US constitution folks. Thats someone who is in favor of global laws, and a GLOBAL constitution, folks.
Yeah, and IM the crazy one.

Here. Watch these videos. Theyre free and painless. Unless of course, youre a retarded army major/banker who understands neither the military or banking. In which case, youre gonna blow a gasket when you see how ignorant you really have been.
Watch "fall of the republic" on youtube. Then watch "end of america3"

Please. This is what is happening.

I'll get back to complaining about my crazy wife later. Or not. Its enough for her to know that I WILL post her insanity. I've noticed a reluctance in all out assaults recently, and have nothing to explain that away other than I will POST any and all insane actions.
Hers and mine.

I really dont give a shit anymore.

happy frickin new year.

Tuff Guy

2010-07-25T19:46:00.004-04:00

Toughest guy I've ever known. My boss's brother can attest to that fact. HE got body slammed twice on the same day (just because he thought it was a fluke the first time around). My boss's brother is no slouch, you see. Not nearly as smart as I, because I KNEW I'd end up on my ass, just like Tony did, so I never broached the subject.
Tough guy has a name. Jeff Janosky.
Tough guys have limits and breaking points it turns out. People don't understand tough guys much, or like them very much, you'd think. "oh he's a hothead, a reactionary, a d***head...." you know, you've said them about me, I'm sure. Jeff has about as much tolerance for laziness, stupidity, or silliness, as your basic radical Muslim cleric has for ecumenical harmony. If you did something stupid, it didn't take too long for him to let you know. No, he wouldn't win any corporate go along to get along contests, but you know where he stood and where you stood in relation. I say that after having said something stupid on a jobsite which caused Jeff to walk off the job and head home. Oh, and we were 30 miles from home.
AFTER we kissed and made up weeks later, the friendship and respect grew between us. Oh yes I can say that. I have the gift of discerning tuff guys' feelings, y'know. He liked me, and I sure as hell liked him.
Not for the obvious reasons many of us now remember about Jeff..... working in a physical job 10 hrs a day, THEN going to school to get a degree and better his life, THEN going home and renovating an old house for his family. No, those are the obvious reasons. I liked Jeff for reasons I already stated. You knew what he thought and he wasn't afraid to state it. Sure it made situations uncomfortable from time to time, but hell, what person you know DOESN'T???? Even the most diplomatic amongst us are faulted, they just are more camouflaged.
Jeff buried his very best friend who died suddenly, and freakishly tragically at a very young age. Then , not long after that, buried another friend who died at own hands, due to tremendous stress and sadness in his family life. That's a lot to ask for even a tough guy.
Today, I stood at Jeff's casket and used up all my strength just to keep from completely breaking down. Jeff was the toughest guy I knew, but not impervious to pain.
This much I know, because that could have been me lying there instead of Jeff. I was a mess in that funeral home, and about 50% was because I will miss Jeff tremendously and felt such sorrow for his wife and son, and the other 50% was because I KNOW what he felt.
My God I know.
If not for a short list of people who came to my aid when the darkness was both overwhelming and suffocating, I would not be here. I wish I could have been there for Jeff. I wish someone could have been there for Jeff like those few precious people were for me.
Jeff isn't here anymore, and I believe the difference between him and me is a few texts and a few phone calls at the right time, by the right people.
I will miss him terribly.

I was talking to a co worker about Jeff, and he said "Jeff seemed a bit volatile, which caused me to shy away from him...."

Yeah, he was like gas on prairie fire. Volatile times 10.

But he had a crapload of people who came to show their respect for him.

Bet your run of the mill go along to get along guy doesn't have that to look forward to. People liked Jeff BECAUSE of who he was, not in spite of it. I only wish he knew that while he was alive.

May god bless and protect his family.

Rain Days

2010-04-26T14:36:00.002-04:00

Its all about perspective. Most normal people watch the morning weather forecasts on tv and cringe or whine when rain is predicted for that day.
Not me. Of course not having to work specifically because of said rain might have something to do with that.
I like rain. Sometimes I love rain. Today is one of the latter.
Its not that I dont like working, because actually I do. Its my job that I hate. Well, that and some of the people there that regularly make me want to shove a gun in my mouth and end it all.
Rain days. Lay around and watch the flowers grow. Lay around and wonder where and when everything went to hell. Naaaaah. Thats a waste of time. Pick up the shattered pieces and move the hell on.
There have been enough tears shed in the past six months to fill the erie canal. Now its time to work on moving forward. Whereeverthehell forward is.
There are about..............2 or 3 out of you millions of readers out there who know what I'm talking about. the rest of you are going to have to plunk down $19.95 to read about it in my book. There will be much more written here about all that juicy stuff in the coming weeks and months, but for now, I am allowing the enemy time to strategize after having read this firing of a warning shot across their grubby little bow.
They've had a helluva headstart on sabotauging and destroying me, but I'll still give them fair warning that I will be returning fire very shortly.

As only I can.

Time to just lay back and listen to what the rain is saying.

Is anybody out there?

2009-10-18T20:16:00.004-04:00

Is anybody listening?

Does anybody believe?

Everyone who knows me knows I'm a bit off kilter.

Some of you (who believe yourselves falsely ON kilter, think I'm just silly. Worse yet, nuts.

Everybody who knows me knows that I have a few theories that are not exactly mainstream.

Everybody who knows me knows that not too many others were predicting (shouting, crying, warning) that the economy was going to go kablooey, and that was over 2 years ago.

I've also been saying other stuff.

Stuff like stuff nobody else is willing to say, at least publicly.

Someone asked me what I thought about this swine flu thingy thats all the news these days.

I said along time ago that this one worried me.

Didn't matter though, its just ted being ted.

When the H1N1 went "dormant" like all pandemics do, and when the W.H.O. ratcheted up their warnings to the highest level there is, I KNEW there was something indeed wicked this way coming.

The usual reasonable folks made statements like "more people die from common colds in the course of a year in America than died of H1N1 last year"

THAT sounds reasonable enough, I'm sure they all thought.

But they, like most good outcome wanting, reasonable thinkers, were wronger than wrong.

Something wicked this way comes.

Now it seems that even reasonable folks are waking up to this thing.

But I'm not so sure that the real threat is from the pandemic itself.

I believe, and this is based upon my own speculation, that this pandemic while quite dangerous, is going to be used as a catalyst to usher in "something else", like a treatment. A response to the pandemic, I fear, is going to be worse than the pandemic itself.

I have a seperate but not completely unrelated story that was related to me over a year ago.

A federal prison guard told me that a meeting was held in his prison, and in that meeting, officials from the CDC told the employees that vacinations were going to be given to all prison employees, and their immediate families.

This was not optional, they were told.

Also, Prison employees were probably noticing that refrigerated trailers (tractor trailers) were being parked on prison property, and they were a preperation for the anticipated "virus" that the federal government expected to hit "sometime next fall", and that the casualty rate was predicted around 1,000 to 1,500 persons, a day, locally .

Huh.

I was as intruiged as he was by that statement.

My question tonight, besides wondering if anybody is out there at all, is whether or not anyone else senses something wicked this way coming?

A lot of people who are not necessarily readers here, have told me exactly that.

A lot.

People who dont spend all damn day introspecting or analyzing every damn feeling that comes their way.

People who can be honestly and accurately classified as "regular folk" have told me that they KNOW, that something is about to happen.

But nobody knows what.

Well, almost nobody.

I read about the coming (past) economic downturn a year and a half ahead of people like Jim Cramer, who is considered a stock market expert, with his own tv show.

He didnt say a word about it.

I read about a coming threat that is combined with the past economic downturn.

60 minutes isn't doing any stories about this one, either.

You do whatever you want.

Dont listen to me.

Play farmville or vampire hunter or whateverthehell you want to, I dont care.

I've written stuff like this before, and the usual suspects will say its just ted being vaguely ted again, but...................

No, no buts.

I dont care.

Everything I can see, is seeable for everyone to see, but most reasonable folks want to see the nice in everything.

The hopeful stuff.

No reasonable folks want to consider the really "out there" stuff.

The unthinkable stuff.

Right?

Another aside.

Tonight, 60 minutes is doing a story on a technology that is providing very hopeful leads in cancer treatment.

It involves nanotechnology and radio waves.

Whats important there, is the nanotechnology and the radio waves.

It is being reported tonight on 60 minutes, as I type, as a cancer breakthrough, but 3 or 5 years ago when I first read about the technology, it was being reported as quite the opposite.

It was being reported as a way to INFECT people, not cure them.

Watching the 60 minutes story, 5 years after first reading about the other stuff, I can see why people are so hopeful.

The technology works.

What I can't understand, is why reasonable thinking individuals are so quick to dismiss the possibility that someone with this technology would use it for ill gains.

So trusting, reasonable thinking folks are.

I read about a technology that COULD be used to infect populations of nations, 5 years ago, and I was considered nuts for believing it.

The only difference in the stories is the delivery systems of both the nanotech particles, and the radio waves activating them.

Both are not only doable, but being done.

Want links?

wants particulars?

Want specifics?

I didnt think so.

Don't worry. Be happy.

Do whatever you're told to do.

Continue to laugh and point at the silly folls like myself who will go kicking and screaming saying "no, not in MY country..."

Something wicked this way comes.

By the way, do you know what that picture is?

I didn't think so.

Have a nice day.

Pierce Bakery Bagels

2009-10-10T19:21:00.007-04:00

Best bagels ever.

Yeah yeah yeah, you know what a good bagel is, and you are going to say or suggest a name.

Spare me.

Unless you're going to mention Hymey Smollowitz's bakery in Brooklyn (wait and see how many goofs google that), dont waste the effort.

Best bagels, EVER.

Unfortunately for me and bagels lovers in the area, pierce bakery is now a paint store, and the bagel recipe is gone forevermore. Has been for like 10 years now.

Once you've had a Pierce bakery bagel, all the rest are also-rans.

There was an orchard/farm in my area, that was run by a man named Mr Lord.

Lord's orchards, produced the BEST apple cider I've ever tasted. In the fall, Lord's orchards would be the center of the universe for me, and was on the way to every job I had to get to.

Sometimes, that would take some creativity and effort, but it was worth every ounce spent to get there.

I talked to mr Lord once, and told him what I thought of his apple cider, and he proudly told me that he used 7 different kinds of apples, and pears, in his cider mix.

IT, made the difference.

I knew it had something different in it, but when he told me it had pears in it, I said "THATS IT!".

Lord's orchards is now Lords Landing, or some such nonsensically named-McMansion development. I'm sure the current residents are all proud of the land's and mr Lord's history. Once they get the proper "harvest" decorations out, and all. Once the kids are retrieved from soccer practice, and all.

Yeah yeah I sound cynical, like some Earth First! goofball all bitter that the land isnt a farm anymore.

I'm not bitter because of that. I (unlike most environmental nut-jobs) understand economics and all that. I'm selfishly bitter that I can't get Mr Lord's cider anymore.

I APPRECIATE, and miss, Mr Lord's efforts.

I suppose if Mr Lord's son could have made a coupla million off of the cider, he would have kept the farm.

Mr Lord has left us to make cider and bagels in Heaven with Mr Pierce Bakery, but I didn't forget his efforts. Either man's efforts.

I know its not like either man changed my life, but what they did is missed now that they're not doing it anymore.

I CAN'T be the only one who misses them and their products.

Once you've had them, everything else is "ok".

I happened to chance across Mr Lords son one day, and I told him of his dad's cider and how much I enjoyed it.

He said the property is sold now, and he lives in NJ and had no interest in running the farm nor the orchard. "Pity", I told him. "Best cider EVER", I told him. Evidently, me saying that without a coupla million dollar check, didnt have much of an effect on Mr Lord Jr.

I guess any "smart" individual would have opted to sell the land and take the big fat old payoff, over shlepping over an orchard and land and cider presses and all, just to appease the pallate of some goofball dirt merchant.

I wonder if anyone other than the people who received some of Mr Lord's son's money, will miss HIM when his time comes to leave the earth?

I miss his dad's products, and his dad's efforts.

Like I miss Pierce Bakery bagels.

My wife is tired of me comparing every bagel on the planet to them, but I can't help it.

Once you have the best, what are you supposed to do, settle for half-assed efforted products?

Worse yet, full efforted, suckey products!?

Can't do it.

Can't go back.

I need THOSE bagels.

I need 7 kinds of apples AND pears, cider.

Once you've had the best, nothing else will completely do.

Funny how we touch other people. How what we do, affects others.

Don't settle. Do your best, in everything. Its going to matter to someone, maybe a lot of someones.

Add the pears.

Make the effort.

The world has too many shmoes in it already, just in it for the paycheck, for the same thing too many others are in it for.

For good enough.

Once you've had the best, you can't settle for good enough.

seasons change

2009-10-04T19:07:00.005-04:00

Another year has come and gone.

How do YOU measure years?

The school year?
Summer?
Holidays?

I've been playing (and enjoying the hell) out of playing mr mom for the past few days.
I know, I know, thats easy for a few days. Well, I enjoyed it maybe because it was easy.
It helps that my outside-the-house-workload has been cut in half recently, so I AM able to give more than usual. Time will tell whether or not it lasts. My ability to give more, I mean.
Some of you readers (read: WOMEN) automatically believe that I should already give more. You may be right, but by the same token, I don't believe you give not even a small percentage of what I put into my life and day on a regular basis, so I guess we're even there.
And you'll forever be wrong.

So, back to topic.
I'm playing mr mom, carting kids here and there and running for dinner today.
On the way, one of the kids asks me if we can stop at the local ice cream stand, because it is, after all, "the last day of the season".
I say, "not before dinner" and continue on our way to market.

On our way back, again the question arises, "can we go to Maureen's for ice cream?! It IS the last day..............."
I said, "It is going to be a long time before we can go again, isnt't it?"
and kids not being totally brain dead and able to see a light at the end of the tunnel, yelled "YES!!!"

So we whipped in the parking lot of Maureen's, 15 minutes after we passed it on our way to the market.................................
and there's a big sign in the window saying "closed for the season".
Man.
Talk about heartbreak on a biblical scale.
quivering lips, sniffling noses, blurry vision.....

and that was just me.

The kids in the car were in total meltdown mode.
Of course it was all my fault. We should have gone there BEFORE we went to get something for dinner.....................

Yeah, well, I may be sentimental, but I aint stupid.

"Dont push it kids", I said, "its a frickin ice cream stand, not a love lost forevermore or anything........."

They didnt get that one, they just knew that the ice cream stand they shouted about everytime we passed was closed, and that was that.
End of an era, for them.

End of light at the end of the tunnel, for them.

So naturally I got to thinking.
Naturally.
"Is there any light at the end of MY tunnel?" I thought............

Yeah. There is, but its dim, and it seems hard as hell to get to.
Probably as dim as the light as the ice cream stand opening sometime after next easter, when its not even halloween yet, as explained to my youngest.
She just shouted "we can go there the next time when we come here!!"

Sounds logical.
We can go there the next time when we come here......

A lot is going to happen before then, I fear.

And by the by, the two older kids got out of the car and went to ask if they could still get an ice cream, even though the sign said "closed".
The nice (heartless, Cruella DeVanilla) Ice cream stand owner said "No".
So teary eyed and quivering lipped, they returned to the car.
He said they closed a minute ago, and that was that.
An ice cream nazi.

I've often (and I mean OFTEN) wondered, what exactly, did I miss, by a minute or so, in my life?............

Well, add one more to the list.

The chance to make the kids happy with a lousy 3 or 4 bucks worth of ice cream.

I know that its not much on the scale of life's disappointments, but it wouldn't have done any good to tell them that tonight.
They missed their chance, and the best they could hope for is some far off, distant point in the horizon that they really can't comprehend getting to.

THAT, I can relate to.

Be careful when you ask God to show you what you missed, he might just show you.

He does, and He did.

He showed me, after I begged, often with tears streaming down, to show me where I missed, what I missed.
He showed me exactly what, and where.

Be very careful what you ask God to show you.

He will, you know.

Stupid Finds Me

2009-09-28T21:12:00.011-04:00

So I'm out picking up dinner tonight ( because I missed Rachel Ray today and didnt know what to whip up),

and I'm having a hard time understanding the nice girl behind the counter at the Chinese take out joint.

All I could hear, was "walla mulla harbinga googamunga sauce?"

I said "excuse me?"

And she said (louder) "walla mulla harbinga googamunga SAUCE?"

To which I responded (louder) "what KIND of sauce?"

She, all exasperated, says ""walla mulla KIND OF SAUCE?!"

"Ooooooooh, SAUCE" I say.

"Yeah, give me some".

With a disgusted look, she takes about 400 assorted packets of some kind of sauce or other, and flings them in my bag like I had a gun pointed at her head.

"You get ALL sauces"

Oh sure, THAT she can pronounce perfectly.

And I am left there to assume its MY fault, that I dont speak whateverrthehell it was she was speaking.

Stupid finds me.

Like whan I'm driving.

I used to actually believe alien mother ships were hovering overhead, folowing me just so that around the next blind curve, they could beam a blue haired steering wheel death clutching left turn signal on for 10 miles alien driven 20 mph BELOW the speed limit fake automobile, JUST TO PISS ME OFF!

All for cosmic yuks, I believed.

It happened way too frequently to be just coincidence.

Twice in the past year, in a construction zone on I-81 up near Scran-un, one of those alien driven fake automobiles STOPPED on the interstate, just so another Alien driven fake automobile could merge with 60 Mph traffic on the (just seconds before) flowing interstate.

Now to those of you who drive hondas or suburus, that may not be much of an issue, providing you dont have your head and/or heart deeply involved in text messaging or something.

But when you are driving a less than late model large truck towing more weight than you actually should be, it gets pretty interesting.

Stupid finds me.

Like when I'm out walking with my kids on a beautiful fall day on our way to a mushroom hunt.

While walking on a curvy country road, a car comes dangerously close to me (on the edge of the road) and my kids, who were off the road.

He zips by, I raise my hands up over my head, and yell "what the hell, IDIOT!?"

So up backs the near miss vehicle, and the guys says "you got a problem?"

"Oh goodie, a tough guy", I reply.

"No, I dont have a problem, YOU almost hit us, is the problem".

Then I notice the cage bettween the front and back seat, the police looking radio in the dash, and the gun on his hip.

He said "I didnt come close to you"

To WHICH, (not getting the gravity of challenging barney fife yet) I respond "no, it was the OTHER idiot driven maroon car that almost hit me".

"I didnt almost hit you, and I'm a police officer".

"Oh, that changes everything", I said. "Troopers and Grand Sultans of Oz get to run people over, I forgot"............

But wait, it gets better.

He asks my name, and I said "for what, the insurance claim to have the frickin (cept I didnt say frickin. Yeah, I know, in front of the kids and all) denim threads removed from your goddam bumper!?"

To which, barney the nascar wannabe said "Oh thats fine language around your kids..."

But wait, it gets better.

I said

"Oh, I suppose I should have said gosh almighty that nice police man ran over my foot...!?!?"

He put it in drive, and drove on, realizing I assume that stupid has returned the favor.

Stupid finds me, sometimes wearing uniforms.

So I'm deer hunting in the Poconos, and my vehicle is parked along the highway, like 50 others.

At the end of the (yet another) fruitless day, I emerge from the woods, and stand where my car should be.

I turn around, look at the tracks in the snow that tell me I walked in here, looked at the tire tracks in the snow that tell me my vehicle USED to be here..................

and say "Frick".

Thats one of thos monents you cant quite prepare for, and it just begs for a response.

"frick" was the best I could come up with.

December, dark, in the poconos, and miles from anywhere.

So I start walking.

A few miles into it, some fool decided it was a GOOD idea to pick up a lone man walking along the highway, at night, with a rifle over his shoulder.

Yeah I know, You cant make that up, and Thank God for it.

I get a ride to the state police barracks at the next exit, and I saunter in to report a stolen vehicle.

I start to tell the nice man in uniform behind the (not bullet proof enough for the gun on my shoulder) bullet proof glass, my story, and in walks another man in uniform.

"whats his story?" he asks, and I said "someone stole my car".

The nice man behind the glass tells him what kind it was, and the other (idiot) in uniform laughs and said "oh THAT, I had it towed."

I said "You WHAT?!" What are you RETARDED!? For WHAT!?"

Remember my mood, where I was, what I had to do to get there, and what was slung over my shoulder.

He said "because you cant park along the highway."

"What about the other 50 cars and trucks parked out there!?!?"

"didnt see any".

You're a frickin (again, didnt say frickin) moron".

(this is all true, and its a wonder I'm STILL not in jail).

"oh for THAT, I wont give you a ride to where it was towed", he said.

"Lemme get this straight", I said. "You tow my vehicle because you didnt like.......I dunno, the COLOR, you laugh when I show up to report it stolen, you CHASTISE me for hitchhiking because its illegal, and then you tell me I can walk another 20 miles, because I'm NOT FRICKIN NICE!?!?".

Beyond stupid.

The nice man behind the desk actually made the other idiot go away.

This next part you have to have a wad of tobacco, a couple of beers and a good belly scratch goin on to appreciate.

I can call ducks.

Like they're on a string, I've been told.

That means that I can really sound like a duck when I get the duck call goin'.

Like I said.......You need to be of a certain "mentality"to appreciate that.

Anyways, I'm sitting in my well camoflauged spot, blowing away at the duckies flying over head, when I hear a twig snap behind me.

I stop, then continue blowing again, then I hear a distinctive metal "click".

I stand up and yell "HEY!!!!!!"

And not more than ten feet away, is stupid, with his shotgun pointed right at me and my decoys.

Holy frickin frick.

"Huhuhuhuhuhu. you sounded just like a duck", says Elmer Fudd who almost made me a statistic.

"yeah, a 6 foot two duck with glasses. I make that mistake all the time".

sometimes, stupid has a gun.

whats the moral of this story?

Be prepared, stupid is just around the corner. And he may or may not have a gun.

What does God do with the money, dad?

2009-09-27T21:31:00.007-04:00

Nice pic, huh?

I told everyone all week, that I didnt want to go to THIS game.

I KNEW that Penn State would lose THIS game.

Then, on Friday, my daughter in college in Philly called to tell me that she REALLY wanted to come home, and oh, by the by, she had two tickets for she and I to go to THE game.

You know, the game I didnt want to go to.

So friday, I head on down to Philly, around 6 PM, when everyone else in Philly wants to leave.

Yeah, it was peachy.

Friday Schyukill traffic. 5 hours turns into 7 hours.

Kids, sheesh.

Saturday comes along, and I, we, had this confirmation thingy to go to, for my oldest son.

It was swell, as fine a confirmation ceremony as there ever was.

Afterwards we head back to the ranch where I, not one for chlorine conversations, turned on ESPN, which HAPPENED to be broadcasting from Happy Valley that day.

THAT, was all that my A.D.D. ass needed to blurt out to my daughter, "Lets GO!"

And go we did.

Another 2 1/2 hour (one way) trip this weekend, to see a game I didn't want to see. (see where this is going?)

We drove down to ever happy valley, the rain started about 2/3rds of the way there,

and it didnt stop for the rest of the weekend.

We luckily got a parking spot at the Hub (to all of you who dont know happy valley, its a covered parkade), and on a rainy football saturday, that is like winning the Pa Lottery.

And I mean we were in the right place, at the right time, to the SECOND. We parked, made our burnt offerings to the parking gods, and were on our way.

We walked around downtown, had coffees, watched people and bought ponchos and the usual stuff, and headed up to the stadium, with the rest of the faithful.

I KNEW Penn State would lose this game, but as they say "hope springs eternal".

That, and I told my dear daughter that "we are going to stay till halftime, and then head home.

At least we won't get home at 3 AM". It was my one injection of logic and sanity in the whole mix.

Then we trudged up to the stadium, waited in line (in the rain) for the increased security checks, bought our hot chocolate so we could have new mugs to remind her of this great place for the next year, and headed out to our seats.

Our seats, by the by, were as good as good gets. Better than good. Incredible.

Pouring rain, nighttime, knowing we were going to lose.

As half empty a glass as you could ever hope for, right?

Then we walked out of the ramp, and into the stadum, where a hundred thousand other delusional, enthusiastic fools waved their pom poms and cheered for their team.

At that time, at that place, in that rain, I KNEW, (knowing they were going to lose), that there was NO place on EARTH that I'd rather be.

Not in front of some warm dry tv, to be sure.

I HAD to be here, tonight.

And I was, with my daughter. She wanted to be there even more. Not something you could explain to a non believer.

THAT, was the important part of the evening. The actual game, was incidental.

Age realigns priorities like that.

It was more than fun.

It was magical.

If you haven't been there, in that setting, you wouldn't understand.

Like someone who has never loved. You can't explain to them what its like. If Shakespere can't, you or I surely can't.

Fast forward to 18 hours ago, when everyone was scurrying to get ready for church.

My 10 year old daughter was all upset because she couldn't find her purse.

I said "you don't need your purse for church" (very matter of factly)

To which she responded "but daddy, I want to put some money in the basket......"

To WHICH my 5 year old daughter immediately asked "What does God do with the money daddy?"

Explaining why its magical to drive 2 1/2 hours and sit in a pouring rainstorm to watch your team (which you know is going to lose), is easier to explain to a hypothetical wife who hypothetically wants to understand why you do the things you do......................................

than it is to explain "what does God do with the money, daddy?"

I said "He builds churches with it".

She, the 5 year old, looked at me like I was a fool who enjoyed driving 2 1/2 hours to sit in a rainstorm and watch my team lose, for FUN.

Sharp cookies, kids are.

But thats my answer and I'm stickin to it.

It was Magical, and

God needs it.

Silly as it sounds, its the truth.

Old Broken Toys

2009-09-25T22:38:00.006-04:00

"Nobody wants a Charlie in the Box..............."

Funny thing, kids are.
There can be a broken unwanted not-even-said-hi-to-in-a-month toy sitting in the corner, but the minute that another kid picks up that unwanted toy, all hell breaks loose.
You'd think that the unwanted toy was just repainted, dunked in a vat of cholocate syrup and wrapped in 50 dollar bills, the way its now fought over.
2 minutes ago when it was ignored and unwanted, the toy's owner couldn't care less about it.
The minute the toy is wanted by someone else, the kid is all kinds of concerned.

Better still is that the second the owner is sure the other kid isnt interested, the toy goes back to the island of misfits. Back on the shelf to resume being ignored.

Why IS that?
Human nature?
Just general selfishness?

I don't care WHAT kind of junky, beat up, worthless feeling toy it is, if some other kid wants it, its MINE!!! (and nobody else can not play with it, either)
Yes, I phrased that correctly.

My two boys were instructed to clean up their room by their mother recently (like every day), and in case you're interested, the room looks like a SWAT team just did a room clearing exercise in it. Complete with flash bangs, lots of small arms rounds, and a couple of hand grenades thrown in just for good measure.
In short, its a disaster.
So mom finds a BROKEN IN HALF motorcycle toy, about 3 inches long, among the other hundred or so unwanted uncared for items in there.
The very definition of worthless.
Little casey acts like his favorite-est childhood memory inducing toy was just flung in the garbage when mom made it go "clunk" in the can.
End of the world, on a 7 year old scale.
Something lying under his bed, broken inhalf, for God knows how long, yet STILL he is traumatized by it being thrown out. Better yet, hes all kinds of surprised that its getting flung out.
Go figure.
They CLEARLY dont want these things, these toys.
Clearly.
They leave them uncared for, unattended to, just cast aside.
Why the trauma and the grief?

I can't figure this out, and it really has me perplexed.

Yeah I know the old saying, but someone should expand on it, and say "if you DON'T want something, throw it the hell out already".

Kids.

I used to think "if I have a couple more, I'll surely figure them out".
Now I know better.
Theres NO figuring them out.

Surviving them is the current goal.

Its All Black And White

2009-09-17T20:56:00.003-04:00

While lying in bed awake last night, as is the case often times lately, my mind thought of things that seemed less than pleasing.

Everything seemed so dark, so................................DARK.

Then for some A.D.D. reason, I thought of another dark time, in a very dark, cold, black and white place.

It was January or late December or something, and it was cold. Cold and dark, but it was a good kind of cold and dark.

I waded out in the middle of a partially frozen river, to the only open water for miles around, WHICH, would attract ducks and geese, from miles around, was the theory.

I dodged ice floatsoms while navigating my way out to the small, nothing but a bump of gravel slightly above the waters surface, island.

I strategically (um, one here, two there.........) set my decoys, they positioned myself to look like a lump of snow on a gravel hump in the middle of a river, all to kill a duck or two.

Yeah, I know, its not something one spends much time thinking rationally about.

Anyways, while daylight approached (oh, I forgot to mention that I dodged ice flows while wading, in the DARK?),

I noticed something else.

"Man, this is pretty". Could've been the lack of blood flowing to my brain at that point.

No color whatsoever. Black water, with white ice flows spinning and bumping and crashing into each other as they flowed. White snow on the mountains around me, with black leaf less trees standing silently on them.

Black and White.

Laying on a gravel bar of an island gives one an interesting perspective. Kinda like placing ones ear on a railroad track.

The sound of the water flowing, and the ice flows flowing into each other, is one I'll never forget. Grinding, bumping, flowing.

The only color was in the dog's coats, but even they looked like a shade of grayish non-color, instead of the deep chocolate that they were.

No color, black and white.

It was surreal. The wind made a sond as it entered my hood, which added to the experience. So much so, that I failed to hear the 20 or so ducks that just plopped themselves all around my little island.

The dogs started twitching and whimpering as if to be saying,

"godammit dad, we DIDN'T come out here for you to lie there and get all frickin philisophical. SHOOT a goddam duck!!"

I sit up, the ducks say "what the frick!?!?"

They fly, I shoot, the dogs spring into action, and everybody (save for a few ducks) is happy.

Its all so black and white.

I wish everything could be black and white. And the good kind of cold and dark.

Don't you?

My Spot

2009-09-17T20:05:00.005-04:00

Sorry, I dont have a picture available of my spot.

Yet.

Its my favorite spot in pennsylvania, to be sure. Maybe my favorite spot anywhere.

That one will take some thinking.

The number of people I've shown "my spot", you could count on one hand.

Its a public spot, open to all who wish to go there, but not too many people go there, and me and the trout like it that way.

Back when I used to harass the trout on a regular basis, any and all intruders (like 3 a year) would usually put me in a sour mood, at least temporarily.

It was MY spot, after all................

I don't go there much anymore, for a variety of reasons, but even if its once a year the place still feels exactly the same, like I never left.

I didnt go there this year, and tonight, while I was sitting in the spot that actually IS My spot, I thought about my other spot. My REAL spot.

The picture is of my son casey sitting on our patio, which is on a stream, and isnt too bad of a spot in its own right.

Its been a less than perfect month or three, and today it seemed to come to a boil.

I haven't even gotten to sit by my own stream lately, but tonight I did.

And what I did, was nothing in particular, just watch and think.

(heres where it gets boring)

I watched mayflies do what they do, which is go from an underwater creature, to a flying creature, to mating (the good part), and then dying (The yet-to-be-determined-part).

They were doing this way before I owned this place, and they'll be doing it long after I dont own this place.

Just like at My Spot.

Its hard not to feel connected to a spot where you've spent thousands of after dark hours, by one's self, standing in the middle of a large wild river, casting to invisible trout sipping invisible flies off the waters surface.

I feel and felt like just as much a part of that spot as some of the boulders that have been there for milleniums.

I belonged there.

It wasn't about the trout, although each one was a small victory to be sure. None were harmed, save for their dignity perhaps. All were released because they belonged there, just like I did.

My job was to fool them into believing that my fly was the real dinner, and each time I did, they got smarter, and more difficult to fool the next time.

A classic catch 22.

That was my job as part of the spot. To make the trout smarter, and to annoy the beavers who lived there. They would occasionally scare the bejeebus out of me by either bumping into my wading legs, or swimming silently up behind me and slapping their tails just a few feet from me.

THAT, usually got either an audible response from me, or something just this side of cardiac arrest.

Often times both.

I don't know why I thought of My Spot, while sitting on my spot, especially this evening.

Today seemed like a practice run for national crisis week, and tonight, I was just plum exhausted.

I just sat down near the creek to veg out, and then noticed the flies dancing above the water's surface.

I tried to close my eyes, then I realized that the sound of a rushing stream is only half of it, if that. So I took it all in.

No great revelations occured while sitting there, and I'm still tired as hell, but I realized that everything is fine in My Spot.

The trout may be a little dumber than they used to be there, but thats ok too.

And I can see it like I'm there right now.

I imagine sometime soon some other young man/woman will be driving their old jeep around creation, looking for their spot.

They too, will see that pull over along the road no where near the river, but pull over anyways, just because something tells them to.

They will get out of their vehicle, look at the steep path down to where they know the river should be, and maybe say something to themselves like,

"oh what the hell, I'm not made out of crystal..............."

Then when they get to the bottom, and emerge through the last of the underbrush and stand and look at what I first saw, they'll say..........................

"holy frick. I found my spot".

And they'll begin the journey of learning everything about it, one step at a time.

Its a great spot.

Just another day in paradise

2009-09-15T20:36:00.005-04:00

With nothing to write about.

I say that a lot when people ask me "hows it going?"

"Just another day in paradise".

Just another day.

One more day.

On the road to what? THAT, is the question. No, I'm not going to get all philisophical and gushy on you.

Not tonight.

I'm just wondering what its all addin up to.

Where its all going.

Its been a rocky, bumpy, trudge-y road thus far, but I cant but hope that its going to level out, to open up, to get to where I want it to get to.

I'm not looking for the Land Of Oz, just somewhere nice.

Somewhere pleasant. Somewhere I WANT to be.

I've got a few ideas as to how to get there, (wherever that is), but they seem like pipe dreams at this point.

So here I sit tonight, after yet another uneventful day, wondering if life is just one uneventful day after another.

To be trugded through, to get to the end.

Nah. Thats idiotic.

thats how most people seem to view it.

I don't give a rats ass how most people do it. Nor, have I decided, do I care what they think of how I do it.

They can take pleasure in my decisions, and add some spark to their trudge filled day discussing me and my decisions.

Gee, that souonds narcisissistic, doesn't it?

Yep.

Dont care about that, either.

Life is indeed too damn short.

And there are no "Best Trudger" medals to be handed out at the end, either.

I've been trudging through paradise for the better part of the past 25 years, and I think, I've had a bellyfull.

Tonight, I saw the emergency vehicles pull up to an elderly neighbor's house.

Tonight, I wonder what happened at "Tony's" house. Whether it was him, or his wife who was gurneyed away in an ambulance.

Tony, as I have learned, was no trudger.

He was a "hell raiser" when he was a youngster, as told by another neighbor, on numerous occasions.

Lately however, he was a trudger's trudger. Old age will do that to you.

Tony is/was of old age. Hell raising youth notwithstanding, he was just an old guy who went through the motions of his latter days, with a smile.

I dont want to be remembered as anything but "a content guy".

I know, I know, take a number.

And very few people would categorize me as "happy and/or contented".

At this point, anyways.

Are you trudging?

Do you believe we are supposed to?

Generations have believed that, y'know.

This isnt some mid life crisis, in case you're wondering.

Its a mid life lane change.

Road change.

Route change.

I've got half a life left, and if you think I want to trudge through IT like the past seemingly endless years, youre as nuts as I am.

If you're lucky, I wont knock on your door and say "c'mon, lets get the hell outta here..."

ooooooooooooh, you looked at the door with that comment, didntcha?

Uh-huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

You GET what I'm talking about.

Well, gotta go now. Gotta get some sleep so I can trudge through another day in paradise, tomorrow.

Life and Death at the County Fair............

2009-09-13T18:19:00.006-04:00

"At least I'm not THAT guy", I thought.................

He probably sat in his seat saying the exact same thing about everybody he saw. About everybody he taunted while he sat there.

And that laugh.

It must be the same guy thats been there for years, because the odds of two people having the same laugh, doing that job, I imagine are pretty big.

Well, THREE people.

5 or 6 or 8 years ago, I had a coworker who had the same exact laugh. So much so, that another coworker nicknamed him "dunktank", because of the similarity in the laughs. "Dunktank" is in reference to the clown who sits over a tank of water, and taunts fairgoers to (buy, and) throw balls at the target in an attempt to get him dunked.

I remembered that laugh, and I remembered that coworker.

Hes in prison now on two murder charges, in connection with a very famous case.

It was a loud laugh, an infectious laugh, almost a forced laugh, but it wasnt. He was the type of guy to laugh at everything.

Not so much anymore, I'd guess.

As far as I knew him, he was a nice guy. Friendly as hell, and I bet if the company were to cast a secret ballot then, as to which coworker would be where he is today, I'd have gotten more votes than he would've.

I'm not exactly a social butterfly at work, y'know. Not like I'm rude, but there are people who HAVE to store beer in the trunk so they can have one before they get home, and there are people who do not.

Even on the worst days (and their name is legion), I can wait.

Dunktank.

I dont remember anything bad about him, but then again, you can spend more time then 10 or 12 hours a day, for 6 days a week, and STILL not know someone, y'know?

Sometimes, it takes something more. You know, like a murder charge to light up the lightbulb over your head.

Or something.

So I'm walking around our county fair, and I hear this laugh.

My first thought is "holy cow that guy is STILL at it".

And then I thought of the nicknamed guy. He's still where he is too.

Always will be.

At least I'm not THAT guy.

Either of them.

I started to wonder about each, both of them and their lives.

Whats it like to travel around and do THAT, for years on end? Man thats gotta suck times a thousand.

At least people compliment my work or slip me a hundred bucks as a tip every once in a while.

THAT guy gets the finger for doing his job, and thats AFTER he gets dunked.

Sheesh, I bet HE keeps a cooler of beer in his trunk.

I wonder what its like for dunktank in prison?

I wonder how a happy go lucky type survives in there?

God he must feel lonely.

I wonder if I should visit him?

Yeah thats it. Start my workplace social networking in the state prison.

I dunno.

At least I'm not that guy.

Its gotta be one of the lonliest places on earth.

One of.

Like a county fair.

9-11, take out pizza, and talk radio

2009-09-11T22:00:00.005-04:00

Ive "tuned out" lately, in case you haven't noticed.

I mean, I've REALLY tuned out, of the world around me, for a variety or reasons.

Burn out, frustration at the level of incompetency and idiocy and duplicity in the world..............maybe a combination of the three and a lot more.

For whatever reason, I dont read papers, watch news, listen to news, go to my usual news filled websites (that I have determined to be the BEST).

Anymore.

So today is 9-11. The aniversary of the day..............well, you know.

I overheard someone tell someone else today "I didnt realize it was 9-11..."

Sigh.

That part, I didnt forget. No one can tune out that much.

After a usually blissful day at work, I went out for some pizza with the gang.

And by gang, I mean a carload of kids.

While waiting for our order to be filled, I was treated via the pizza joint radio to a local talk radio buffoon that I tuned out long before I tuned out.

His name is steve corbett, and he is as clueless, and as embarrassing as they come.

Embarassing to the area, to thinking individuals everywhere, and to his employers.

But wait, theres more.

His callers, are a notch or 12 below him, and today, they were inspired to show how much they didnt know, and on the air, to boot.

So I'm standing in a typical pizza joint, waiting like all the other good folk for the pizza to be cooked. We're all forced to listen to the pizza joint radio and one after another after another local "got-it-all-figgred-outters" call in like they're going to get compensated for being the most inane caller of the day.

They all win.

There are the usual Rosie ODonnel types, you know, the "truthers" who believe the CIA did it all.

There are the "educated" types, who after reading "the entire 9-11 commission report, have ALL the answers...."

And there are the reformed new religious types, who believe that peace and harmony will conquor all"..............

I actually laughed out loud at two particullary idiotic comments while waiting, and got less than approved reactions from the other waiters in line, I might add.

One fool, actually said on air, that he "couldnt believe that any human being could actually believe that another human being would WILLFULLY fly a jet into a building, and kill other human beings....." and he said it like he was enlightened.

I suppose its easier to believe that EVIL U.S. government employees could plant explosives and blow up said buildings, easier than Radical Muslims could fly a jet into it, I dunno. It was nothing short of painful to hear it all, that much I do know. I couldnt help saying outloud "ever heard of KAMIKAZIES, you goddammed fool?"

My seemingly witty response was left hanging there in the pizza smell filled air.

Why do I write this now?

I dont know. Maybe because its something that has to be written today. On an anniversery of our stupidity, and our resistance to be anything but.

We're a hundred times as stupid as we were on 9-10-01. We havent even come to an agreement on what kind of building to rebuild there, some 8 years later.

We believe that by making nice policies with people who would do such a thing, that we could get them to realize that flying 767's into office buildings, is an unreasonable option.

THAT, is where we are today.

And worse, that is who is leading our nation, today.

And everybody wonders why I tuned out.

Everybody wonders whats wrong with Ted.

Like I said a billion times in my life,

"It aint me, Lord, it aint me.

Its the rest of the pack of idiots you stuck me here with."

Like the local talk radio buffoons.

Like the buffoons heading our country these days. Like the buffoons who are considered experts in the world of news, and world events.

I wouldnt allow any of them to watch my kids, let alone by back.

I've "tuned out" because quite honestly I believe its all over save for the next big white flash.

I've tuned out,because after two wars and more info than any reasonable individual would ever need to be truly informed, we are still, and MORESO dumber than a box of rocks, as a nation.

Don't believe me? Listen to Corbett.

Go talk to an ex-favorite relative who believes that "getting healthcare for everyone who needs it is worth whatever sacrifices we need to make as a whole."

Cant fix stupid, like you cant fix being short.

Whats MY solution, you say?

Yeah thats it.

Anyone who knows me knows what Ive been saying for the past 5 or more years.

Nobody listened, and they're still not.

My solution is to stick the I Pod things in your ears, and tune out.

Like me.

Difference is, when the big white flash DOES occur, I know what to do.

You could just come to my house, I suppose, and start listening then.

Better late than never.

Real Men Don't buy Wine

2009-09-09T19:01:00.003-04:00

Or so they tell me.
Me? I'm not so closed minded. Of course, I also happen to love red wine.

Funny thing, that label "real man".
Sensitive guys like myself (see photo) spend our days doing sensitive stuff, like getting in touch with our feelings and discussing clothing color schemes and such.
You know, "no red with orange".................... stuff like that.
I guess its all part and parcel of the wine drinking thing.

I can remember blasting the shit out of stuff with a machine gun after jumping out of the helicopter thinking, "gee whiz, I hope I dont break a nail or something on this mission". No, I did. It was all rainy and muddy and icky, and it was bad enough getting gross dirt under my nails, but if they got chipped, how would I EVER show myself at the office the next day??!!
Sheese, talk about pressure.
We real men have an image to uphold, y'know.

Its one tight balancing act pulling off the whole thing, let me tell you.
One minute we have to understand.....you know.......EVERYTHING, and the next, we're supposed to switch gears to dragon slaying mode, and slay the damn dragon, to boot.
And now I find out, do it without admitting to liking wine.*

Like I said, funny thing about that label "real man".
Some of us don't care. Some of us want to be considered as such. Some of us worry about who thinks what in regards to it all..........

Me? I'm just sitting in my man room, drinking wine, trying to decide the definition of a good man, not a real man.
I've done enough manly stuff for fun and profit to feel comfortable with all that crapola. Theres more important issues to work out.
Issues that as I live and watch, it seems everybody struggles with.

This journey isnt easy, is it?
No, not for anyone, it seems.

And I'm watching people who dont realize they're being watched, or noticed, is maybe a better term.
No, not staring and stalking kind of watching, but noticing. Everyone. Ask the guy who muttered "real men don't buy wine...", he'll tell ya.
Like check out people, or people you meet at a yard sale.
You know, for a few seconds or minutes. Its amazing what you can pick up, if you keep your eyes open.

I see a lot of people differently than I once did.
Some much better than originally, some, not so much.

Live and learn.

Yeah, sage advice, I know. Like telling a baseball batter to "hit em where they ain't".
"learn" is the critical word in that phrase.
Learn.

I dont have any answers either, but I'm noticing that no one does, and thats my point.
I used to think I did, but now know better.
I'm twice as lost as you.

but I'm learning.

* (note to wine hater: most philosophies need to be adjusted. Trust me on this one, you're all wrong)
:-)

chicken wing magic

2009-09-07T21:13:00.005-04:00

Ive already written about the magic of chicken soup, and if you didnt read it, start backpeddling.

In case you havent noticed, Ive been whining like a notre dame fan about "strength of schedule" points, regarding my life lately.

Nothing specific, really.

My boss is nuts, the clients are nuts, my wife is nuts, and oh yeah, I'm nuts too.

Other than that, its all good.

The kids arent nuts though.

They know EXACTLY what they're doing, and ITS all bad, and on purpose.

Other than THAT, its all good.

So I'm trudging through another day in paradise, with little but memories of weekend ice cream to cheer me up, and then I get a call.

My college aged daughter, whom I havent seen in a month or two, is home for a visit.

After passing out the usual scoldings, beatings, and frownations upon coming home, I shower up and ask my visiting oldest if shed like to go for a ride with me. Shes been with the little kids for an hour at least, so naturally she says "SURE!"

So she accompanies me to the luxurious barber shop where she is treated to a fascinating exchange of talk of weather, deer antlers, and work.

Then its gets good.

After getting my (distinguished with just the right amount of gray) hair cut, we go out for wings.

Nothing extravagent, just wings and beer.

Sounds like a date night on the country channel, huh?

Its not that we or she solved the problems of the day, or the universe, its that it was different, that it was good. That it was nice.

Nice is nice, I've already written that.

Its like a well timed hug. Not going to change the universe's direction, but it sure is welcome at the right time.

Just enough to change your outlook, your view, your disposition, even your despondency.

I suppose you could classify it as a "little thing" of life. Something to appreciate, something to remember.

The wings are almost always good, but who you have them with makes all the difference.

Like a campfire.

I cant imagine that as a parent I'm the only one, who while sitting across a table from an (almost) grown up child, the mind races from babyhood to beer and boyfriend talk, in every conversation.

Maybe I am. Maybe its the whole adult A.D.D. thing going on.

Lucky me.

These are a few of my favorite things............

2009-09-03T19:29:00.004-04:00

My eyes well up as the blue band drum corp plays their special little ditty just before they take the field every game.

Every morning I'm hunting, when the darkness wanes and daylight first makes its presence known, when shapes begin to form, and the forest awakens.

Being thought of as more than I think I am.

Good Red Wine.

Good conversation.

Silence, unless I'm looking for good conversation.

Choosing the right fly, and making the right cast, at the right time.

Everything that leads up to making that cast.

A really good book.

Handing that book off to someone I know will appreciate it.

Ice Hockey.

Making Love, as opposed to having sex.

Clear, crisp, starry nights.

Creaky wooden screen doors.

Stories of the "old days".

Standing in a river and feeling the water flow through me.

For hours.

Frank Sinatra music.

The SMELL, of autumn.

When the child who never says "I love you dad" says it.

Saying it back.

I like fireworks.

Getting a good picture of something.

Knowing what my dogs were thinking and trying to tell me.

Knowing how to tell them what I was trying to say.

Puppy breath.

A good cigar.

Having someone say "yeah, I'd like to have a beer and talk to you...."

I LOVE women, because I love to talk to them. I dont care about cars, or money, or poker, but I love to talk about flowers and ideas and emotions and such. I havent found too many guys yet who were willing to be as silly as me.

I love guns, too, but could give a rats ass about how they work. I like them to work, and I LOVE to shoot, but beyond that, who cares.

Shoot em, clean em, put em back together till the next time.

Its all "chlorine" talk when it gets down to mechanics and ballistic coefficients and such.

I dont need to know why the car can go fast, just like I dont need to know why the bullet hits the target. I just like it to, and like being able to make it do so.

There are more important things to worry about, is how I view it. Let the pot bellied guy with the half eaten stogie worry about making it work. I just want it to. We all have our roles to fill.

Above all, I like being loved.

There is nothing else, really.

I yuse-ta be a mason y'know...........

2009-09-02T18:46:00.004-04:00

I imagine I'll be saying that to some whipper snapper someday.

Can't imagine that it'll be after I'm a recovering addict, weighing 300+ lbs, standing in the doorway wearing bermuda shorts and a 3 sizes too small t-shirt, however. But you never know.

Saying it to someone OLDER than me, to boot.

While HE is doing work for me that a third party is paying for, I might add.

"So howcome you're using these stupid stones instead of stamped concrete?" He asked me.

I said "have you ever seen stamped concrete? Its supposed to BE this stuff.

This, is what you call the real deal."

"I like concrete" he said.

"gee, big revelation there" I thought, but for a change held that one in.

"See those brick steps out front?" he asked me.

I said "you mean the Dr Seuss ones?"

"huh? No, the BRICK ones"...................

"nevermind, yeah, I saw em".

"Well, (he boasted) I MADE em. In 10th grade. I took masonry in school. At the VO tech."

"You peaked early", I said.

"Yeah, thanks".

Some people will complain no matter what, I suppose. Get a (many) thousand dollars worth of home improvements for free, and all you can say is that the noise is making it difficult to watch Jerry Springer inside.

Here, you can use my dust mask to cry in..............

In case you haven't noticed, I'm cranky tonight.

Don't know why, but maybe you can use it to your advantage.

Maybe seeing THAT guy wanting EVERYTHING, made me think about ME wanting Everything.

Here's a (whatever kind of) addict, no job, free house, free everything, complaining about getting the absolute BEST possible type of stonework available. Doesn't add up, nor does it sit well.

We all complain, and find enough to complain about rather easily, but this guy HAS to stay up late at night to find things to complain about.

"yeah, THATS it, I want my lazy hazy crazy days of summer to be construction free, so I can go to the clinic every day, and NOT have to step over icky men doing icky work, with icky tools all over the place...........................and I want CONCRETE!!"

Yeah, I CAN be kinda cynical when I want to, huh?

Everybody wants it all, myself included. Human nature, I suppose. Except for the drone types, who either dont know any better, or......................well.......................don't know any better. They're happy to "settle".

Maybe the guy who I talked to today has dreams too.

Maybe he wants to be a mason again (but after watching me for a week or two, I think thats doubtful). Who knows what his dreams are.

Do YOU have dreams?

I did. Do, actually. They won't go away. Theres only one thing I want to do, and its everything. It just won't go away. Hasn't for a lot of years now. The first time I realized it, I said "thats IT", and it hasn't ever stopped being "it".

I wrote about Frank McCourt in an earlier post, and suprisingly enough to me when I found out, his writing career didn't start until he retired from his day job, which was a teacher in the New York City Public schools. His career that got him a Pulitzer, started after he retired.

THAT, is inspiration to me. Its never too late, is what it says to me. Never give up.

So I figure either I haven't learned everything I need to learn doing what it is I'm currently doing, or this, is it.

I gotta go with A, because if its B, then I might end up hitching a ride to the methadone clinic with the ex-mason. Or worse.

Whats your dream?

You have one. Even if you don't know what it is. It may be buried, or it may be deadened by life and what has made you feel numb for a long time. Bring it back to life.

Get quiet, and listen inside. You'll know what it is.

It may surprise you when you find out, but its there.

If I can believe in me, I can believe in you, too.

Don't give up.

Don't never ever give up on your dream.

Its Everything.

24

2009-09-01T21:58:00.005-04:00

I used to be a fan of the tv show 24. It used to be good, before they got all politically correct, and made every terrorist hell bent on destroying the united states, anything BUT Islamic extremists.

Now, its a green celebration of politically correct idocy, with stars like jeanine garrafalo (dont care that I spelled her name wrong, shes an idiot)

So 5 or so years ago, after watching this GREAT tv show every week religiously, it was the day of the season finalle, a 2 hour shoot em up and kill all the dammed Islamic terrorists television extravaganza.

Before I made popcorn and put on my special ops pajamas to settle in for a serious night of tv watching, I decided to go down by the "crick" and burn some boxes.

I started to burn the boxes in the fire ring, and noticed some people walking upstream, on the other side of the creek.

I went to the water's edge, and said to them "I'm sorry, but this is private property and you cant come......................."

So there's 4 of them.

The oldest of the 4 was about 40, and the other 3 were 20ish.

The oldest was wearing khaki pants and pennyloafer shoes, and he martches right through the stream to my side, and sticks out his hand and says

"Hi, I'm Tony and we just want to walk through and fish here...."

Really friendly. Caught me off guard friendly.

They all had fishing poles. Deep sea fishing poles, but they had fishing poles.

One guy carried a white plastic garbage bag, one carried a large cooler, and the others had just fishing poles.

None of the poles were "rigged", that is to say the string wasnt run throught the poles' eyes, nor were any of the poles equipped with hooks or anything else to catch fish with.

The men were all dark skinned, like say......................Lebanese dark, not Etheopian dark. All had very short, very dark hair.

They also spoke a language I didnt know, while speaking amongst themselves, but I think I recognized a few russian words in there. Not sure.

Anyways, "Tony" the apparent leader and speaker ot the group, was as friendly as friendly gets.

He said "We're from some shit-hole of a town near philly, and we're up here to fish".

I asked them where they parked, and they told me about a half mile downstream.

I asked them where they were headed, and Tony said "just up that way". I said that there wasnt anything "up that way" for over a mile, but he just smiled and said "thats ok". Now it was 7 pm or so, and to be that far from your vehicle, going in a dierction that didnt lead anywhere, didnt add up in a big kinda way.

One of the men pointed out my St. Francis statue in the landscaping to one of the other men, and in his gesture, it didnt appear to be in a complimentary kind of way.

It didnt set in, until after events played out.

When my wife holding my then newest baby came down the steps to the patio, one of the younger men said to Tony "hey tony, we gotta go".

And they started walking upstream.

I said to them as they walked up, "hey, watch out for rattlesnakes, they're here, and I kill em all the time around here. (kids and all. SCREW poisionous snakes when the kids are present)

Anyways, Tony didnt miss a beat, said thanks and smiled and waved bye bye.

I walked back up to the house, and something just didnt add up. I started to replay what I just witnessed, and started to notice things I missed at first.

So I called the state police in shickshinny. (first mistake)

I told them what I witnessed, and why I thought it was suspicious, and they said "those guys were stopped by a trooper from the wyoming barracks, and they had fishing licenses and checked out. If you see anything else, give us a call.......click".

"DAMN!"

So I called Wyoming barracks, and told THEM what I saw and thought about it all.

Some female phone answerer told me pretty much the same thing the shickshinny barracks person did, but at least she thanked me.

She hung up too.

DAMN DAMN! THis isnt RIGHT!" I thought.

So taking matters (and my favorite .45 caliber handgun) I decided to run upstream to see just what the hell they were up to. I went through a neighbor's field, and got to a point high above the creek where I could see them if they came through. They didnt, and it started to get dark. So I headed back to the house, and just as I was coming out of the woods, I saw a black suburban pull up on the bridge. A "guy" got out, walked down to the water's edge with a box, and looked up and downstream, and then got back in the suburban.

THAT, really didn't add up.

So I walked up to the house, all kinds of frustrated with the state police's inability to recognize me as a bonafide terrorist watcher...........................

Then the phone rang.

It was the trooper who pulled the guys over earlier in the day, and he asked me to tell him everything I saw.

So I did, and then he said "tell me again".

After I told him a second time, he said "hang on, I'm going to connect you with someone"..... and another phone rang, and then someone answered and said "homeland security".

This guy also wanted to hear everything. Twice.

After I told him everything (twice), he asked me, "what do YOU think they were doing?"

I said I was a fisherman who traveled a LOT to fish, and from what I saw, these guys were definitely NOT fisherman. I also said I was in the military, and we used to practice (and practice) missions under conditions that would best resemble the theoretical mission.

I ALSO mentioned that there is a water filtration plant for over 50,000 people directly Up Da Crick, from my house, and if you just walked up the creek, you'd run right into it.

He said "Up until the part where you told them there were poisionous snakes, I thought they were just some goofy guys from philly going fishing. When you told me the part about the snakes, it became different.

I'll be right there".

Meanwhile, I was missing the season finale of 24, but hell, I had my own little 24 going on right here.

In a little while, we had very low, very slow flying helicopters buzzing overhead.

Never found anything, or anyone.

A week or so later, I received a phone call requesting me to identify the four guys on a video tape where they bought the fishing stuff.

Not a problem.

Right place, right time. Burning boxes by Da crick.

I talked to the homeland security guy once after that, when my wife noticed another black suburban stop on the bridge near our property, and two guys got out and without expression or acknowledging her standing 30 feet from them. The guys both looked and pointed upstream, and talked quietly amongst themselves, then left.

Fast forward a month or two at a family party or something, when I got to recount this story to (as luck would have it), a high up muckity muck from the water company.

I told HIM the story, and he turned white as a sheet.

He said he heard nothing of it, and I asked him " what kind of security is on the water treatment plant"?

He said "the door has a lock"

Hence the white as a sheet response.

Not very encouraging. On many fronts.

So My intuitions (albeit a little slow) were dead nuts on. The state police and homeland security thought as I did. Gee, imagine that. Took em a while, but they came around.

Problem is, the water treatment plant is being protected by Joe the cleaning guy.

"Hey, whaddya doin IN there!?"

"Uh.......nuttin...we just checking pipes is all...................."

"oh, okey-dokey then........Light turn off by themselves at 9, so wrap it up.........................".

Not so much.

Hey, at least I'M on the job...................................

Nice photo, heyna or no?

:-)

The first day of school

2009-08-31T19:24:00.004-04:00

That phase gets a myriad of responses, depending on how one is affected by it.

Some moms (and from what I've seen, some dads) look forward to it like a date with Chippendales and/or a case of apple martinis.

Some moms (ahem) look forward to it like their beloved little chitlins are going off to war. We dads who arent testosterone deprived, cant seem to get our arms around the concept of the kids being gone all day, as being a bad thing, or a traumatic thing.

Men are from mars, and women are from venus, I suppose.

Kids? Like I HAVE to say where THEY come from!?!?

Heres a hint, you dont have to TEACH kids, to misbehave. They all have PhD's in that department.

Here's how your typical dad feels about this subject.

Kids gone? Frees mom for what moms were meant to do.

You know, clean the house, and have sex.

No, not with the chippendales, with the dad.

Or at least thats how its supposed to work, in the world of a dads.

How do (some) moms view it?

Like some storm troopers just yanked the kids out of her arms, and put them in a boxcar.

I dont get it, but its not my job to get it, (yeah, literally) its my job to make it better.

A:I could shoot the storm troopers, I suppose..........or

B:remind her that the kids usually spend the vast majority of their waking moments giving her gray hair and ulcers...............................or

C: I can bring home a bananna cream pie ( a fav) and tell her to "go take a bath".

I went with "C".

Didnt see any storm troopers, and that would've been my first choice.

Choice B, would've turned a weepily nice trauma into a "DID YOU JUST DO WHAT I THINK YOU JUST DID?!" type of trauma.

I'm dense, but not an idiot.

Its not necessarily how WE view the trauma that affects others, its how THEY are affected by it.

Now being a drama queen means that everybody in my orbit is subjected to their fair share of traumas. Sometimes, no matter how silly it may appear to an outsider, they dont feel silly to those in the middle of it all.

Like the first day of school.

How someone, (especially those close to us) react to our little traumas, says everything.

A kind word when a kind word is needed, is everything.

And everything, is all that matters.

You can read this, and for some strange reason apply it to your life, and maybe it'll help someone sometime.

But if you have to tell your special someone, "no, this REALLY bothers me", then maybe your trauma isnt the real issue.

So for those of you out there wondering is your special someone is "involved" as you, or even at all.....................

if you have to ask, then the answer is no.

Loving isnt about being nice. Its about being everything, without being told that you need everything.

Its simple, really.

Like the first day of school.

war stories

2009-08-27T21:43:00.012-04:00

Well, I dont have any war stories. Unless you count previous marriages.

And theres no way in hell I'm writing anything about that.
So I'm flying home for my fathers funeral. He was 52, and I was 20.
I flew home in full uniform, for a variety of reasons.
On the flight, I met this guy. He was a marine vet from WWII.

He asked me wnat I did, and I said "nothing". I wasnt close to my dad, and I definitely wasnt too sad to talk, but it was just one of those moments.
He told me that he was a prisoner of the japanese in WWII. He then told me that he escaped from them, and made a raft, and floated from the island of corregidor, to Australia.
Some things, I figured, you just didnt lie about. So I believed him. What a story. THIS guy had war stories.
I felt like even more of a nothing. I wondered if my dad felt the same of me.
He wouldnt be found in any forbes magazine with what he did in his life, but he still was my dad, and I always wondered if he thought I was anything at all.

So I'm driving across the Garrison Dam in North Dakota. Its a dam like you cant imagine.

It was late, after midnight (I was fishing) and on one part of the dam that more resembled a bridge, I passed a girl sitting on the railing.

I drove by, then turned around, just because.

I drove back to where she was, and stopped, got out, and sat on the railing with her. Now you have to understand, north dakota isn't pennsylvania, nor like anywhere else, for that matter.

Its desolate, and I was I dont know how many miles we were from the nearest one light town. maybe 50 miles, at least.

Here, in pretty much the middle of the night, was a girl sitting on a railing, overlooking the water.

Didn't add up.

So I stopped and talked for a while.

What can I say, I didnt do the bar scene well, so this was right up my alley.................

Dont remember many particulars. She was nice, pleasant, not depressed at all. Just liked being there, she said.
Ok, thats a particular, but its one that stood out, given everything else.

She assured and reassured me that she wasnt going to do anything stupid, nor did she want a ride to anywhere. She just wanted to be there that night.

What am I, the bridge police? ok, I said, and I left her..

While driving along a ND highway one night, we picked up a LARGE Indian man, and I said to him upon his entering my luxurious Ford Fairlane.......
"Whats up Chief?"

My buddy almost crapped his pants, but the chief just laughed.

"I want a ride tto the bar in town" was his response, and I said "can do".
That was the night, that my buddy who was all shy and stuff with chief hitchiker, said upon walking into some farmer/rancher redneck bar in western north dakota......................
"I smell SHEEP SHIT.........."

Yeah. It was like a John Wayne movie. Chairs flying, air force idiots flying,the whole nine yards.

I remember thinking "what the HELL did you have to say that for"!?!!?

The chief was on our side, at least.
Score one for race relations. He thought it was hilarious that people he was conditioned to hate (government employees) would do something so off the cuff, and that was a good thing.

He was a good friend to have in that situation, he wasw HUGE . I got my bell rung but good that night, but he never gave up, and we had a good laugh afterwards.
Two wing nuts (air force personnel) and a frickin Injun and a bunch of Nodak farmers made friends that night.
It hurt like hell, but we made nice afterwards.

Dont worry, I got back at that dammed southern idiot for making that comment when we walked into that bar......
Johnny rebs are tough, but they're scared as hell of ghosts.....................:-)

So I was driving down the turnpike in Pa, and I see a guy on crutches hitchhiking. Doesnt add up.

So I, we, picked him up. Drove him down to the east/west split, and something told me to ask him if he needed some money, so I did, and he did.

I dropped him off, and when pulling away, I looked in my rearview mirrow, and he wasnt there.

I said to my ex-passenger, "where'd he go!?"

She turned around and looked, and he wasnt there.

Maybe he got another ride in 5 or ten seconds. I dont know.

Didnt add up.

The 60 mile an hour club.

I'm a member. End of story.

Ever see something that froze your feet to the floor in fear?

I have.

Not because I know what I saw, but because I didnt know what it was that I saw.

Whats the most important thing you've done in your life?
The most important thing I think I've done is pull some kid out of a river. Sure wish I knew it was a job possibility 30 years ago. I'd join the coast guard in a heartbeat today if I knew then what I know now...................

I ran over someones car with an armored personnel carrier, too. Not a good move. I singlehandedly enacted a dept of the air force directive ordering all APC drivers to have a spotter behind the vehicle when backing up said vehicle.

So I got that going for me................

Feels like having a disease named after me.

Slipped off a frozen path, and right into the salmon river, in upstate new york.

In february. Water temp was right around 34 degrees, and the air was even colder. I remember when my butt hit the bottom, thinking, "this isn't so bad...............".

When I popped up, I asked a fisherman who was downstream a little, if he could get my hat for me as it floated by.

He did.

It got really cold after that.

Speaking of cold, more about north dakota.

I got lost there once, in a snowstorm.

Theres one place where there is a "forest" in ND, and I was in it. Its called the turtle mountains. Itty bitty foothills, are a better description, but in a state where they have road signs warning of a "turn in the road up ahead", I suppose a itty bitty foothill IS a mountain. (Its REALLY flat and treeless there)

Anyways, I was hunting, or some stupid thing out there by myself in the winter. Now you also have to understand that their winters arent like OUR winters. And I dont CARE where YOU are, their winter is not like your winter. I actually cassette recorded a weather forecast and sent it home, just so people could get a good idea of what it was like. I think the high temp that day, was 30 below, or some such nonsense. I do remember that in my first winter there, we had 30 or sixty days below zero. In a row. Didnt get above zero, that is.

Yeah, so anyways, I come up with the notion that a camping trip (by myself) is a good idea, maybe a hundred or two miles from the nearest one light town. In a state where on the streets in the shopping district in town, are recepticles to plug your cars in to prevent them from freezing solid while you shop. Yeah.

Well I got lost, and couldnt even find my tent with my 30 below sleeping bag.

But wait, theres more.

I shot a few sharp tailed grouse (oh relax, they are as dumb as pidgeons on public square, they NEVER ever see people, let alone fear them). Anyways, I put these grouse outside my little snow cave thingy, and crawled inside for a nice winter's nap.

I guess the scent of sharp tailed groouse travels far, because it wasnt long after dark, that a LARGE pack of coyotes were all around, on top of, and damn near inside, my little piece of the world. Yeah, they were fighting over the birds I hung on a tree branch outside.

But wait,theres more.

Something scared them off. At first, I thought that it was a good thing, but then I figured out that somethng that could scare off a pack of hungry half frozen coyotes might be something to fear myself.

So I started thinking, "hmmmm, what COULD be out there to scare off a half frozen desperate for food, pack of coyotes!?!?!?"

then in the absolute deafening silence, I heard a woman scream, then another.

Oh, you think YOU'VE been scared? I doubt it.

My brain started working shortly after my bowel system stopped, and I remembered that "its a bobcat its a bobcat its a bobcat........................" like that was a good thing.

Well, two, at least, made that sound, and let me assure you, they DO sound EXACTLY like a woman screaming.

Quite unnerving.

Good news, is, I didnt freeze to death that night. The bad news is, I didnt have any birds to eat for breakfast if I did ever find my campsite.

I did find that campsite the next day, and I did stay there for two or three more days (and nights.

Once you make up your mind to do something so stupid, the worst part is really going to the bathroom in the morning.

Trust me on that.

So I could say that I did that too. Camped in ND in the winter.

I HAD to. People told me I couldnt.

So I'm pulling into glacier national park on my motorcycle, and a park ranger/ employee type is stapling up a notice on a bulletin board.

"Whats up?" I ask him. "Oh, we had two campers killed by a bear last night".
Great. Another brilliant idea I had. On the notice he was posting, was an advisory to not have sex in your tent, because it attracts and exites grizzly bears.

Well, I had that going for me too, cuz I was alone. The thought of getting raped and then eaten by a grizzly bear didnt sit too well that night.

Glacier nat'l park is beautiful, but I advise taking an armored RV if you go.

You wont sleep too well if you only have a motorcycle and a one person tent.

Trust me.

Y'know, out west, they have rodeos like we here in NE PA have church bazaars.

Every town has one, and they're an event, just like church bazaars are here.

I learned to stop in these towns, and one time, pitched my tent in a strangers yard. Just because we started talking while enjoying a beer, and watching the local young men and women show their stuff in the ring, and while dong so, the couple invited me to stay there.

People out west are cool. Next time you're at a church bazaar, ask someone there if you could pitch your tent in their backyard, and then see if they make you breakfast and let you shower in the morning. I love the Western U.S., and the people there.

I was tooling down some straight boring highway out there, (hands behind my head, feet on the handle bars, cruise control on), and I noticed flashing lights behind me.

"huh!?"

I pulled over, and asked the highway patrolman when he walked up to me, "what'd I do!?!?"

"nuthin" he replied, "I just wanted to look at your bike".

So there we talked, in the middle of nowhere, with western meadowlarks singing. The two of us had a discussion about bikes.

People out west are cool.

Eastern cops are like Hitler yoots.

I accrued a lot of flight time as a hellicopter crew member, and if the pilots like you, you get perks. Pilots talk, I learned.

Free flights home, is one of those perks.

I got to fly home and back 3 or 4 times, for free, on various air force aircraft.

None if it luxury, but the price was right.

And once, I got to lay down in the place where the refueling tech did his/her work, and watch while an SR-71 blackbird pulled up underneath us, to be refueled.

Thats some cool stuff. (see the pic)

The refueling tech told the pilot of the SR-71 that I was a guest there, and who I was (a complete nobody), and the SR-71 pilot wiggled his wings after seperating from us, did a barrel roll, and then shot straight UP, out of sight.

Better than sex, that was to see.

And I got to see it for free.

Right place at the right time. MAN I cant emphasise enough how important that is.

The first time I talked to Rush Limbaugh on his radio show, I relayed a story about something or other, and an uncle in another state heard the call, and ordered one of Rush's ties, and sent it to me.

That was a cool gift.

Right place, right time.

Being in the right place at the right time, is everything, and someday, I imagine I will be at the BIG right place at the right time, and get my "big break".

Until then, you have to suffer all this.

Thank you so much for reading all this nonsense.
And remember, theres always more to the story than what you are told. Even if the one telling you says they have all the facts.

They dont.

You didnt know any of this about me, did you?

they dont know anything either.

Trust me.

"I'd rather be lucky than good"

2009-08-27T19:40:00.004-04:00

Thats one of Yogi Berra's lines. He had a million gems like that. Lines like..........

"This is like deja vu all over again."
"You can observe a lot just by watching."
"He must have made that before he died." -- Referring to a Steve McQueen movie."

"nobody goes there anymore, its too crowded"

Lotta backwards wisdom there.

"I'd rather be lucky than good..."

I've always said there are LOTS of "good" (at whatever they're doing) people out there. But, there are only a few lucky ones. I'd rather be lucky than good. Good is good, don't get me wrong, but lucky is.....well, really good.

Being in the right place, at the right time, usually works out a lot better than being a handy manny type who does everything the old fashioned way. You know, WORKS at it.

So how do you get lucky?

You dont. It gets YOU. I'm not necessarily lucky, dont get me wrong. I said I'd RATHER be lucky than good. Lucky is fun. Lucky is a BLAST, when it works out.

I've been lucky a few times in my life, and I've done things good enough at times to be considered "good" at them, but I'll take lucky anydamnday.

Besides, my tools dont talk to me like Handy Manny's tools do.

The rocks I work with talk to me, (and I've told my boss and a few clients that little tid-bit, and yes I'm stil employed), but I dont have any tools like handy mandy's talking tools. Yet.

Maybe I'll get lucky someday and get some...................

"so you got married over vacation!?"

2009-08-24T22:08:00.006-04:00

"Yep. And the metal in my ring matches the metal in the pins in my leg."

Oh like YOU'd have had a come back to that.

I just smiled and thought "you cant make something like that up."

And you can't, really.

Not the innocence of it, nor the truth of it.

As life's choices go, that one is a winner.

Pick a wedding ring made out of the same metal as the stuff that rebuilt your leg.

Yep, thats a good'un.

Profound, to boot, even if you can't spell profound.

A damn lot better than most of my choices, thats for sure.

Like my online search for a new pair of hunting boots. I buy most of my stuff online anymore, so when the "need" arose for a new pair, I started the search online.
I like Dicks Sporting Goods store, so I started there to see what they had to offer.
Well, technically I started with "dicks.com"
Made sense to me. Any company stupid enough to name itself "dick's" had to have a dot com in there somewhere, right!?!?
Yeah well theres a few other important letters in there too, I found out.
After plugging.......er..........typing "dicks.com" and hitting the enter button, my computer lit up like Village People warm up act.
Big neon flashing letters announced that I had, in fact, found "REAL ASS PUMPING MAN ACTION!!"
My wife looked over my shoulders and asked me,
"what are you doing?"
And I replied "looking for new boots"
She said that that was stupid enough to believe, and
she also said "I dont think they have the kind of boots you like, there".

See what I mean about choices?
I got a thousand examples like that one, and some are a tad bit more embarassing, but you'll have to liquor me up to get them out of me.

A little.

Picking a wedding ring material that matches the pins in your leg is nothing short of genius, by comparison. It took some thinking on my part to come to that conclusion however. On the surface, it made as much sense as most tatoos I see on people's bodies, but theres probably a story behind each one of those, too.
Besides alchohol, I mean.
Speaking of tatoos, I went out for ice cream at a local stand with my daughter katie the other night, and if they had contest there for the person with the least amount of tatoos, I'd have won it going away.
Even the ice cream girls working inside had tatoos.
I stood there feeling so................................

superior.

The things people do to get noticed, heyna or no?
Ok, it was west nanticoke, but still its got to be some kind of indication of society's changing standards, right? Right?!
Heres a thought, you want to be noticed?
Drop a hundred and fifty pounds, and wash your frickin hair once in a while, for starters.
Store the spandex until AFTER you lose the hundred fifty pounds, too.

Nose rings, studded eyebrows, "gauges" that resemble....well........big holes in your ear?

Not so much. Lose the tonnage and wash your hair, then get back to me.

I just dont get it, but I'm enjoying being the oddball with no body paint or metal protruding from my head. THATS gotta piss em off. I'M the one who stands out.

Ok, it IS west nanny-coke.

But I'll take it.
Gotta start somewhere.
Might as well be the bottom.

Sure hope nobody from west nanny-coke is a reader.

Yeah, what am I saying.

Think I'll do something really bizarre tonight, like read some shakespeare.
Like Romeo and Juliet................

I grew up poor

2009-08-23T21:48:00.002-04:00

and have been ever since.
So my daughter (10) went to Barnes and Noble with a friend and her friend's mom yesterday.
My daughter, (who is in some ways like me in her resourcefulness), gets to the checkout with the book she wanted, but (also like me) without the necessary cash to finance her desires.......produces a 4 dollar winning lottery ticket to make up for the cash differential.
Her friends mom, after the fact, and in private, laughed about it, as did my wife.
My reaction was a little different, having known and lived the "tough life".
I felt bad for her, and understood how difficult it was for her when she was told that "that ticket wont work here................".
It was all she had, and all she had to offer.
Luckily(?) for her, her friend's mom was (is) a kind hearted sort, and she covered the difference, and my daughter was able (and willing) to "work off" the difference.
A win win for everyone.
Except for "that feeling".

I know "that feeling".
I remember my mom paying for food with foodstamps, and I remember answering the questions from schoolmates "whats your dad do for a living?"
Not a good feeling.

So what IS poor, anyways?
It has little to do with money, that much I know, but it also has everything to do with money, that much I know also.
I've been told by more than a few people, that "you have it all".
Yeah?
Then why do I feel so dammed inadequate?
Why do I, when I describe myself and what I do, feel like a second class citizen?

Is it because I believe I can do more?
Not necessarily make more, but DO more.

I believe I can.
Always have.

Its easier to believe, than it is to DO, that much I know.
But still this "feeling" exists.
Always has.
Having read enough biographies and stories about "successful" people who have followed their dreams (in themselves) and who have done what their heart told them is their destiny, I understand this road is not easy, nor guaranteed. And that most successful people have had experts tell them that they (the dream holders) are as wrong as wrong gets, in their dreams and beliefs.
So much for experts.
All I have to go on, is this belief.
This "feeling".
More than a feeling really. Much more.

Its an all encompassing belief, a consuming, unquenchable, illogical knowledge that there IS more, and that there WILL be more, to this existance. Specifically, mine, as selfish as that sounds. (what, a site about what I feel and think isnt selfish enough!?!?)

Its always been there.

Always, but moreso now.

I believe I'm poor, because I'm not doing what I was born to do, whateverthehell that is, yet.

Poor is a sate of mind, but also a state of being.
Not a "woe is me" thing, but rather a "what the hell?" thing.

I've driven up to work THOUSANDS of times, and repeated the sesame street song "one of these people doesnt belong here......." on at least half of them.

No, really, I physically and out loud, sang that song as I drive up to work.

So I'm not "there" yet, but maybe neither are you.
Thats ok, because its all about the journey, right?

Right!?!?

Lets hope so.

Its all I got at this point.

See you at work tomorrow.

..That was F-dash-dash-dash-ing AWESOME!

2009-08-13T20:08:00.005-04:00

Why thank you.

So was your timing in saying that.

To all of you clueless readers, THAT was how you compliment a wanna be writer/dirt merchant.

And the kicker was, saying it in a parking lot full of other dirt merchants, who's heads nearly Linda Blair'd off their shoulders when they heard her say that to me.

Eatchur heart out.

There was a time I would have preferred it to mean what the other dirt merchants thought it meant.
But not now.
Having people like to read these silly stories is, well, nice.
Yeah I know, Writer wanna bes have to come up with better words than "nice".
Not always.
Its like vanilla ice cream. Its only boring to people who cant appreciate vanilla. Vanilla, is luscious. Quietly delicious, unlike chocolate or rocky road which shouts "lookit me!!!!"
I like quiet.
I like nice.

F-dash-dash-dash AWESOME aint so bad either, sometimes.

Funny how words affect us, isnt it? Powerful things, words.
Said by the right people, they can be exhilarating, and said by the right people, they can be crushing. Like a sword plunged into your midsection.
Sometimes inadvertently, sometimes accidently on purpose.
I try to not do the sword plunging stuff, unless you do something stupid like post that you give Obamas health care reform a big ole thumbs up.
Oh, and you're my wifes uncle.
Then I go for the biggest, sharpest sword I can grab as fast as I can grab it.
Cant help it, stupid does that to me.
Gee, the in law family reunion will be difficult next time around..........................(relax, none of them read this...)

Evidently, I'm not doing a good enough job ignoring current events if one stupid comment sends me off.
Gotta try harder.
A LOT harder.

To ignore, I mean.
In the meantime, I'll concentrate on "nice" comments of people I respect, as opposed to stupid comments from people I dont worry about too terribly much.
Focus on the positive, and ignore the negative. The negative will run through you like a sword if you let it.
Yeah, thats my plan.

F-dash-dash-dash-ing awesome.

Happy's Salad

2009-08-12T20:23:00.004-04:00

So Happy (my youngest little princess whose actual name is Carie)comes in the house, after picking some veggies from the garden.
In her hands, is a small cucumber, and two tomatos held right under it.

She proudly presents what she's picked, and then asked me, "do you know what this is called?"

I said, "the question is, happy, do YOU know what thats called?"

she said it was a salad.

I said perfect, and she should call that configuration a salad until she was 40.
She laughed, but she didnt know why.
I have that effect on females, y'know.
Funny how two people can see the exact same thing, and come up with two completely (bizarre) interpretations.
Part of the journey, I suppose.

So theres this guy at work.
Seinfeld could make another billion with some of the stuff I see up there.
This guy makes...well...ME look suave.
Shuffles his feet when he walks and eminates loud noises from all ends, just because he can.
Ok, enough praises.
So the other day, he comes off with,
"I cant work with those college kids, theyre GAY and keep looking at my ass."

Now let me assure you of two things.
A: I'm not gay (not that there is anything wrong with that), and
2: Not a gay guy on the PLANET, would ever look at that guy's ass. Not even on
Gay Planet of the Apes. But thats not how he sees it.
Thats interpretation for ya.

Remember I told you my boss was all micro micro manage and hyper focused and all? Remember how I told you I say things like "just grab me by the shoulders and point me in the general direction....?"

You thought I was kidding, didntcha?
If he had a drinking problem, it'd pretty much be my fault.

I used to work with one guy a lot, and he would get mad at me, because I would do all kinds of prep work, never measure or check grades or level or anything, until I was done, and every time, it would come up darn near dead nuts on.
I have all kinds of devices and transits and levels and whatchamacallits, but just for giggle-value, I didnt use it.
Just surf through it, using The Force.

He'd get mad. All the time. Always ask me "why do you bring all this stuff!?"
I said "to impress the customer. People need to be impressed if theyre spending money"

But back to my boss.
Know how he sees the last project?
Well, I dont either, but it aint happy, thats for sure.
Know how I see it?
A 12 day job, done in 9, with at least 3 days less machine time than the bid called for.
AND, I saw some stuff that needed to be done, and got that done ahead of the original bid, too.
I'd say that was a success, wouldn't you??

Yeah well, its all about the interpretation, isn't it?
Must be the hyper focusing stuff he has to deal with.
We 30,000 feet people cant focus too well. Too many shiney objects to distract us.
And all it takes is one to make everything go kablooey.

Want to know what I think? (thats a stupid question, isnt it? I mean youre here reading this, arentcha?)
I think if you hyper focus, you cant see all the shiney objects on this planet. I think hyper focusing will get you rewards, but at a helluva price.
I'm pretty sure he feels exactly the same thing, except opposite, from his point of view.
I dont know. Its not like we sit and chat a lot.

I come down to earth to focus every once in a while, but the view is so nice from up here where you can see everything, that I dont want to stay focused too long.

Theres a lot to see, and if you focus too much on anything, you'll miss some pretty incredible things right before your eyes.

Like Happy's Salad.

Just don't goof things up just by looking at them wrong. Maybe they are beautiful, but you just see them wrong.

"Hello, I'm listening....."

2009-08-07T20:01:00.003-04:00

Thats a line from "Frazier" when he would take callers on his radio advice show.

Anyone believe I SHOULDN'T have a talk radio show!?

Well, that makes one of you.

Two, actually.

I've been petitioning, harassing, badgering, and belittling, the local talk radio station manager-ette for some time now. Well, I did anyways.

Yeah, that last word in the group probably sank my hopes, but she was getting on my nerves after a year or six. I can't help it when a woman doesn't recognize genius when its staring her in the (pretty lil ole) face.

Back when I used to care about politics and such, I was all fired up to get on air and yak about everydamthing they were yakking about.

Not so much anymore. Truth be told, I haven't listened to talk radio in more than a month.

Or two.

I can't remember.

I have a new philosophy.

Are YOU listening?

"Its all over save for the big white flash"

Go ahead and quote me on that.

A friend whom I haven't talked to in months stopped by tonight, and she wasn't aware of my new "self". She made a comment about our benovelent leader, and I just *blink*, said nothing.

Yawn.

Just yesterday, I was looking up in the sky, when that machine operator (who already thought I was a tad bit odd) asked me "whatcha lookin' at?"

I looked up at a newly made letter "H" in the sky, looked at him, looked at the "H" (that was the only thing in the sky), looked at him, and said,

"birds".

"I don't see no birds", he said.

"They're gone now". What, YOU would try to explain that 3 jets just made a letter H in the sky, and the possible reasons for doing so!?!?
"I cut grass......................"

Nobody was listening, and apparently telling people didnt get results, so what the frick. At least some people chuckle at this stuff.
Thats a plus.

I still want a radio show though. It can't be any worse than getting dirty and tired every day.
I could do the dirty and tired stuff as a hobby.
Hobbies are good. I think.
Or not. I don't need no stinkin' hobbies.
I need something more. I need everything.

And a radio show.

Rewards

2009-08-06T20:51:00.004-04:00

You know you're in for it when the guy sent to help you do your job, says this sentence.......
"Am I here to rip out these stupid looking rocks?"

That might not be a deal-breaking phrase, if you hadn't spent the past two days installing those stupid looking rocks.
Not everybody sees things as we see them.
I've been working with machine operators long enough to know two things.
They can do their job better than I can.

The end.

Machine operators arent exactly a romantic artsy-fartsy bunch, if you know what I mean.
Getting "Scary" or "the Shirt Nazi" or Bill (no, thats not a real name, thats an acronym for Brother In Law), to understand WHY the rock HAS to be tilted "just so" is a difficult task.
Even worse, when you can hear him on his nextel radio saying to the other not so artsy fartsy people he talks to "yeah, I'm stuck here puttin deese stooput friggin rocks in dis stooput dirt like da guy wants me to. I said we should just make a friggin wall, but hes a goddam goofball who wants to do it all crooked and stuff..."

Ah hell, I dont mind anymore.

My boss should give me a raise just for dealing with all this.
He gets to be all artsy fartsy with the clients and the architects, and I gotta DO the artsy fartsy stuff, with guys who think artsy fartsy stuff is gay (not that theres anything wrong with that.............).
AND, I do it with Frank Sinatra or Michael Buble on my MP3.

Oh, you should have seen the guy rip his nextel out when I told him I was listening to Michael Buble'. I think he sprained his wrist................

The operator is good at what he does.
And......................if you need some really big rocks put in your yard, to look like they were put there by glacier movments, and if you can tolerate some goofy (albeit strangely attractive) guy waving at maching operators telling them...............
"NO! 6 inches THIS way!!!"

Then I'm your guy.
Hey. Theres a nitch.

For whatever reason, I'm doing what I'm doing. Mostly I'm assuming its for not finishing college but all other things being considered, we're doing ok here.

I gave up trying to explain to family and relatives and friends at parties and social gatherings, so
"yeah, I cut grass" is what I tell them.
What, you think Joe the computer programmer can comprehend that someone pays me to stands in their yard and put rocks there!?
Yeah thats it.
Trust me, its easier to say "I cut grass"

But I really like meeting artsy fartsy types.
For a few reasons.
Mainly, because most artsy fartsy types are women,and if you scroll back to the hockey locker room joke, you'll understand what that means.
Secondly, because I can finally TALK to them about STUFF.
Stuff we can relate to.
Its hard to relate to people who respond to your words with *blink*. Machine operators blink a lot.
I bet accountants blink like a frickin strobe light.

I kinda stare off into the distance.
Especially when my boss is talking to me.
But thats a different kind of blink.
Poor guy (my boss, I mean).
Imagine yourself being in a position of responsibility and reputation, and having some (albeit strangely attractive) goofball staring off into the distance watching butterflies or chemtrails or whateverthehell shiny object happens to flutter into his mind, be the ONLY thing between YOU, and the clients check!?!?
He gets all detailed and specific and stuff, and I tell him, "just grab me by the shoulders and point me in the general direction......................."
You'd think after 20 some years, he'd get it by now. Nope. Fat chance. He's STILL trying to get me to be "normal".

No, we are what we are, and the best we can hope for is for some reluctant machine operator, to say at the end of the day,
"hey, I hope I can do this again sometime. I get what you are doing now, and its pretty good............."

I'm telling you, rewards NEVER come when of from where you are expecting them.

But they come.

"thats what she said..."

2009-08-06T19:37:00.002-04:00

"boy that was quick"

"I only ran for a mile tonight. I was going for speed, not endurance".

"What the hell are you planning to do with THAT!?!?

(I bought another gun)

"hey you know what you havent done for 2 days!?"

"...um....actually its been a lot more than that, but thanks for your concern............."

"you havent written anything".

"Oh yeah. That too. Hey, they might not be mutually exclusive..........................."

Women can be funny without even trying.

They can be a lot of things without really trying.

Like rulers of the world. Good thing they don't realize that one.

Guys are dopes. Alright alright stop the cheering. Admitting it isn't the same as liking it.
Most guys try and be all tough and distant and non-communicative, but in truth, its because we're too goddam stupid to do anything else.

What, you think I'm kidding?
Women OWN us. Can get us to do ANYTHING. They just don't know it. Oh sure, some THINK they know it, but it usually backfires on those types.

Find the guy who would fall on a sword, eat tofu, or even wear a goddam seatbelt, for his woman, and then find HIS woman, and talk to HER.
She'll tell ya.
Men are dopes, and you own em.

She told me as much.

Little Things.

2009-08-03T22:28:00.003-04:00

Yeah I know, everybody says they run, or used to run.

I used to. A LOT.

Run, I mean. I also used to run with people who say they run, and I used to run ahead, then run back to them to say hi, then run ahead, then run back, then run ahead................you get the idea.

I haven't run in over 20 years.

Jeeze, that sounds old.

I haven't run for 20 years.

Until tonight.

My 12 year old said he's interested in running track in his 7th grade year, and I said "neato".

Lets go for a run.

Why not? I just bought a real pair of real running shoes and everything.

Remember the "not running for 20 years thingy"?

It matters.

But its no worse than running in boots with a pack, that sucked too, and it got less suckey with each run.

This will too, and especially since I have even more motivation than I've ever had.

I get to teach someone, my son, something.

Like what my 92 year old neighbor taught me on our walk.

Not something like "siddown son, and I'll teach you some of my wisdom".

Instead, I'll teach him that fathers and sons can sweat, pant, and enjoy a very desolate, very quiet road, together.

Little things.

Little things are all that matter. They are the things we remember forever, while everyone else is trying to get us to focus on the "big" things.

Whats your best childhood memory?

Disney?

Hardly.

Its lightning bugs and playing hide-and-go-seek at night, right!?!?

It is for me anyways.

And I suspect it is for most of us.

Pay atention to the little things. Dont plan for them, because that automatically turns them into big things.

Just pay attention to them.

They're all that matter, and all that people judge us by.

And love us for.

Do the little things.

Let the experts worry about the big things.

They probably never even caught a lightning bug.

Casual Observations

2009-08-02T15:34:00.005-04:00

I took about a hockey teams' amount of my kids berrry picking the other day, and on our way we stopped at my 92 year old neighbors house to see if she'd like to tag along.
The trek only involves walking along the road that bisects her farm, so its an easy walk, even for this 92 year old.
Unfortunately for us, the local township road maintenence crew (I named them gear duct and crow bar, which is an obscure old movie reference) cut down all the roadside berry bushes this year.
I guess there's a new township ordinance stating that pleasant fruit producing shrubbery are now considered Fauna non-gratia. Oh well, it was a pleasant day for a pleasant walk and conversation.
We got to the end of the flat, field framed part of the road, and my neighbor asks "do you want to look on the state forest land?"
Now, the forest road is pretty much up and down, and just a logging trail, not paved or even smooth, but I said "if you feel up to it..".
So we headed up, but first we had to get around the gate at the entrance.
Its ok to walk on the state forest, but they gated it off to keep the quads and four wheel (fat lazy individual transportin) type vehicles off the land.
I walked around the gate and said "Leona, come around here so you...."

And before I get the sentence out, my 92 year old neighbor limbos under the bar like a softened up co-ed on spring break.
Well, that might be a stretch, but not much of one.
I stood there with my mouth agape for a second. 92. Holding a cigarette.

My inspiration.

Bacon, eggs, meat and potatos and an occasional drink of wine.................and she smokes.
She grew up drinking the milk from the cows, which used to be kept in the "cellarway" in a galvanized bucket. Medicinal remedies for things like cuts, abrasions, and bad sprains, were "go across to the barn and get some fresh cowflop". No kidding.
And she smokes.
I smoke cigars, mostly on weekends and mostly in the warmer months, and I understand that they (like not wearing my seatbelt) involves risk, but........................

My point is, and as we walked along the trail and talked and while I noticed that neither me nor the kids had to slow our pace, this lady is mentally AND physically fit.

And she is my inspiration in some ways.
Everyone, especially those in my middle aged group, seem obsessed with stuff like "taking care of ourselves". Of COURSE its smart. Of COURSE its the wise thing to do, but again, I cant help but see the image of the 92 year old dipping and ducking under that bar.
And everything that goes with that.
A 92 year old, who while 88, was bit by a frickin copperhead snake while walking in one of her fields, and had to be life-flighted off her farm and whisked to Danville, because the local rattlesnake round up had created a void of snake anti venom in our area.
A 92 year old who went from a one room schoolhouse "up da road" to college, to heading a department at the Pentagon, to being a business woman in Philadelphia, and owning a condo in Rittenhouse square there.
And back to the farm. She has fascinating stories, and most of them are about not much at all.

So thanks for the health related suggestions, but............................
NO, I'm not going to give up cigars, and my red wine like my guns, are going down with me for the final count.
You worry and manage for the two of us.

My cholesterol will be managed the good old fashioned way.

It wont.

Life is so complicated.

I just want to be able to limbo under gates when I'm 92.

you just never know where its all going to end up

2009-08-02T13:10:00.005-04:00

We had a pretty good plan all worked up for our mascot the kitty.
One of the guys I work with, has a something-in-law who works at a vets office, and that someone was going to provide the necessary (FREE) medical care for the kitty, if I took her home.
The very day we were going to enact operation Lumpy-Extraction, the owner's daughter came out and said "Oh I took the kitty to the vet, and then I'm going to give it to a friend of mine who just had to put her cat down.........."
So this kitty who started life alone and flying through the air in the talons of a hawk, really DOES end up in a palacial setting, eating fancy feast out of crystal goblets.
Go figure.
But wait.................there's MORE!

So my kids are playing rescue ranger in the yard, and Casey (in the pic) comes running up to me and saying
"heydadwewereplayingbythetreeyoucutdownandweheardakittyrealloudIthinktheresakitty........"

So my wife goes into the brushpile where the kitty noises were emanating from (what, you think I am going in there!?!?!? There might be a frickin SPIDER in there!!!)

And there was. Is. Another kitty, I mean.
Ferrel!?!? About as wild as.....well.........a kitten. My wife reaches into the brushpile and extracts the source of the meeow-ing, and like a magician, pulls a kitty out of the mess.
This thing in 2 minutes is purring and playing with the family (not my) yip-yip dog, and cuddling up to the kids like its been here forever. Well, technically, it HAS been here for ITS forever......but not around us.

I dunno. I give up trying to plan and figure things out.
Not like I was ever a list maker, anybody who knows me knows I usually fly by the seat of my pants, but this is getting obvious now. It seems the more I plan, the less it works out. Heckuva philosophy, I know.
Far be it for me to argue with the obvious cosmic scheme of things, right?

Surf. When the wave comes, jump on it, and ride it out.

Funny how things work out.

Kitty mascot has a better home than I could ever hope to give it, kids have the kitty-pet I said there were going to have, and the yip-yip dog has something that makes it feel large and imposing.

Oh, and I didnt get bit by another frickin spider.

Yet.

Frank McCourt

2009-07-29T21:26:00.003-04:00

Ever heard of this guy? You should. He led one of the most humbly fascinating lives I've ever encountered. Well, he and Ayan Hirshi Ali are probably my 2 favs in the "live's stories" dept.

Anyways. I watched him give a speech in front of the pennsylvania assembly house, and all he did was talk about his life.

Not about conquests, or about accomplishments, per se.

I mean, he talked of how a grade school educated dockworker immigrant from Ireland decided to walk up to the admissions office at NYU, and convince them that while he never attended high school in Ireland or anywhere, he deserved to get into NYU.

He did, and he did.

What an inspiration.

But the whole hook of the story, was the story.

People gathered just to hear him tell the story.

Not to "ooh and aah and count his wall street accomplishments".

No one really gives a rats ass about that, to be honest. Well, except for others who are trying to obtain wall street accomplishments.

I ain't one of them.

So I was thinking today, while it was raining, and I was waiting out the rain in my truck.

I wonder if anyone will ever gather to hear ME tell stories, about my life, or anything?

I also thought "I need more tragedies before anyone will come to listen like they did for (the late) Frank McCourt. People like tragedies. "

Yeah, I think with quotation marks.

I think about a lot of things while I'm doing things that dont require an awful lot of thought.

People like stories, but everyone is trying to fill their heads with crap about this or that.

They just want stories. How many of you turned off Paul Harvey when he came on the radio, saying "oh he SUCKS, I don't want to hear this.........."

Yeah, me neither. The moronic radio personalities who feel compelled to share their insights on current events? I cant get to the dial quick enough for them. Click gone.

Some musicians lives I've read about, are at least as interesting as their music is good. Stories of their hardship , the persistance in their belief in themselves, (when "experts" told them to get a real job), and their long climb up to success.

Who CARES how you live after you get there? We ALL would live like that, given the opportunity. How you got there is the story.

Unfortunately, we went from a people who headed west in connestoga wagons into the great (HOSTILE) unknown, to a people who can't BEAR the thought of living for a week, without a healthcare plan. And worse than that, we have become a people who live their lives, for retirement.

Think about that.

I don't know what any of this means, I just wanted to give you something to read, and this is it. A book.

Oh yeah, they made a movie about Frank McCourt's life, too.

Its called "Angela's Ashes".

Great story.

Even better to hear it told in person. (READ it)

Love is in the Air.......................

2009-07-28T18:36:00.006-04:00

So we're sitting around at lunchtime today, when this one chap...........who is a cross between Grizzly Adams..................and his grizzly, comes off with "My wife can't WAIT for trapping season to begin".

I said, "Chuck, you ought to get down on your knees every night and thank God Almighty that he made a woman like that, and that you two actualy met...."

Chuck, you see, is a guy who didnt think there was anything wrong with making up a batch of "woodchuck stew" for a christmas party. And, he didnt tell anyone it WAS woodchuck stew, until........it was too late.

Like I said, grizzly Adams. When Chuck said he got married, I immediately knew two things.

A: there IS a God, and

2: He can do anything.

Then after work, another guy comes up to me and says "wait till I tell you about the girl I met...."

And I mean the guy was beaming, and if you've read the past few posts, I'm saying that that is a good thing.

But this guys not all mushy like me.

God couldn't have made a better woman than what he was describing. I mean for HIM.

(I already have the perfect woman, and she reads this. I'm married, remember? )

Oh man now I gotta back-peddle like Lance Armstrong going over a cliff.........................

Anyways, it struck me as odd that guys would get all mushy while scratchin and swearin and being guys, is the point.

Its fun to see.

Manly men getting yanked around like they're being towed behind a boat, and smiling while they're bouncing every which way.

Go0d stuff.

Congratulations.

Me?

I've always been goofy like this.

I just like em randy.

(Thats a joke, for those of you who know what randy means. Drama queens dont like randy)

All the time.

;-)

Cat Scratch Fever....

2009-07-27T18:26:00.003-04:00

I can't win.

Even when I get to go back to work............well, I gotta go back to work.

They missed me. Like Nor-leanzers missed the rain after Katrina I'm guessin'.

Judging from the comments like "How the hell do YOU get a vacation!?" and "You weren't HERE last week!?" I'd say they were all traumatized.

At least their minds werent idle. The local rumor mill was in full operational mode while I was away, and it took all of 15 minutes at work to hear it/them.

Apparently, the reason for my injury/malady/infection/trip to the shore, was because I got accosted by the mascot kitty on the job.

I gotta give em credit for this one, its creative. And this time, the rumor didnt stop at the bottom of the office steps like normal "hired help" rumors. This one made it all the way to the top, and had enough weight to warrant a visit from my boss, on the site today.

"So I heard you got scratched or bit by the kitty..." he said.............(insert deer in the headlights look right about here)

"huh?" was my poignant reply. "Who the hell said THAT?"

Then the "eep opp ork's" started flying. "um, I mean.....Uh, no one in particular" fingers pointing in about 12 different directions.......

Its not like I was fingered for the Brinks job or anything, but what the frick!?!?

Talk bad about MY kitty will ya??

I just laughed, actually. And I did say "you gotta give them credit for this one..."

I'm figurin the reason for the visit, was that my boss had already had a battery of lawyers working on a workman's comp counter suit how it wasn't the company's fault that I got scratched by the jobsite mascot (while supposedly working). And all that.

I just smiled and thought "unfrickinbelieveable". Cant even get injured without it turning into a scandal of some sort.

I was going to say "its not like I got PAID when I didnt work", but thought better (for a change) and let it all go.

Blindside me once, oh well, blindside me twice, shame on me.

I didnt get reprimanded or anything, it was just a weird conversation. Kinda like him saying, "you're the best employee I ever had, and here's a great big ole fat bonus", and then in the next breath, he says "get the hell outta here, I've had it with you".

Dont know which way to turn.

Just smile and numbly walk away.

At least the kitty came up to me today. IT was happy to see me. And it didnt even know I stopped and got some friskies before it came up.

I actually got to pick it up today, and it didnt scratch me or gouge my eyes or tear my heart out or anything.

well................there IS this one mark..................but we wont tell anyone. It might start a rumor or something.

Back to work. Not as funny as I thought it was going to be.

Weird, weird day.

High Noon

2009-07-26T21:10:00.003-04:00

Thats the movie thats on right now. An old western with Gary Cooper who as the hero of the movie, has a date (at noon) with destiny. One vs. everybody.

No relevance whatsoever, except I had a thought to bang down here, and didnt have a particular title.

I've learned to go with what I've got.

We attended a shin-dig at a nice country club today, and were seated with some nice, but complete stranger-type people.

I wasn't feeling very celebratory, due to whatever reason, but it was a nice time for nice people.

We sat at the table and exchanged the usual pleasantries with our table-mates, but one guy in particular seemed to be on the Wally-World Promotion team. It was all he talked about, even including pulling up a video of Main Street U.S.A. on his I-phone. He talked of the rides, the attractions, the shows, the places to stay in the park, and the best time to go there.

He even mentioned that they are running a lot of promotion packages, and that you can really get a good deal...................

I said that I saw some of the promotions being run, and the guy asked "oh, is THAT what you do for a living?" I said "no, I just pay attention to things".

"Oh". He said.

"What do you do?"

I told him, and the conversation immediately and permanently shifted.

We then received a different sales pitch, to which I replied, "the reason I dont like Wally World, is because of the crowdedness and the fakeness of it all, not for those reasons.

"I like Sanibel Island, and the Florida Everglades. I'm THAT kind of person".

Once you're pegged, you're pegged, and nothing you can do will ever change that, it seems.

You are how people see you, not how you see you.

Ideally, its the other way around, but until and unless you are independently wealthy or king and imperial dictator, it is what it is.

So you listen to successful people who "own a condo RIGHT there in Disney" explan the virtues of, and the need FOR, children to visit the place.

So I shut down, which is better than over achieving in an attempt to make a point that I may have felt was necessary to make.

Its ok I suppose, to each his own. You'd think I'd be a little thicker skinned by this point.

But you know me.

Oh yeah, the movie.

Gary Cooper's character was saved by the woman he loves.

All men need that, y'know. We hero types can take care of 9 out of 10 bad guys, but that 10th one who has the draw on us, will get us if that woman doesnt step up and save us.

you can lead a horse to water

2009-07-26T09:45:00.008-04:00

but you can't always get him on the trailer.
Something happened to me at work years ago, that while quick and apparently insignificant at the time, it has stuck in my memory like a bad nanny-coker's tatoo.
Allow me to set the stage (again).
I was working on a property in the country. An estate, really, where all seemed perfect. Horses, barns, riding arenas and an old farmhouse (restored). Like Rockwell done well.
The lady of the house (a perfect match to the setting) was attemting to get her horse on a horse trailer, but the horse wanted none of it.
I watched the tug of war go on for a few minutes when I got up, walked across the yard, and offered my assistance. She asked me if I had horses, and I said "no, but me and dogs get along pretty well", and with a weird look, she said "ok go ahead".
Now she was tugging and pulling and pushing this horse to no avail, therefore I imagine that the bar she had set for what this "hired help" could accomplish, wasn't very high.
I just walked up to his head and began stroking is face, and talking to him. After a minute or three, he let me get my hand on his bridle, and I continued to talk to him.
Another minute or three went by, and while still talking, we started walking towards the trailer. When we got to the ramp, he stopped cold, so I did too, but kept talking.
A minute or three later, I tried to walk, but he didn't, so I stopped.

See how this is working?

On the next attempt he still wasn't really sure,
but he got in anyways. Coupla 3 minute sessions, and he was trusting enough to get in. She (the lady of the manor) didnt want to close the door with me inside, but I assured her that we were ok, and that she could.
We were.
After I crawled out, she thanked me and asked if I had any experience with horses, but again, I said I was a dog person, but my daughter had an arabian.....................
"Oh, YOU have a daughter? How old?" she asked.
I told her that she was 15, (I think, I cant remember how many years ago this happened)..
and then SHE started talking.
She started telling me of the tragedy that was her daughters life, and subsequently her family's life.
Three or four sentences into a relationship, and this lady of the manor was dumping on me like I'm dear Abby.
What does one say? You'd think I'd know by this point.

How do I keep getting into these messes?
No good deed goes unpunished, I suppose.

What I got out of it, and from thinking about it, is that while everything may appear like Churchill Downs Perfection, it isn't always so. There's a lot of behind the scenes stuff, that the camera doesn't tell us.
And sometimes we can get the horse to do what we want, just by asking it to.

saving the world

2009-07-24T08:39:00.003-04:00

Some people tell me I can write. Mostly they say they like the funny stuff, and who doesn't? Especially nowadays.
If you went back to where and why this blog thingy started, you'd have noticed that it was very different from what it morphed into.
All those previous passions are still very much intact, but nobody wants to hear the rantings of an (albeit correct) madman. My wife told me last night that I should use this gift in conjunction with my political passions, but those two never seem to come close to each other. Once I go down that road, its a whole different me that comes out.
I'm looking at a stack of American political/history/current events/world politics types of books in front of me, and having read them and connected many of the dots that elude a lot of people, there's very little humor in the picture that is formed by those dots.
But people want to laugh. Thats as not addin' up as it gets.
"Good morning Mr Phelps. Your mission, should you accept it, is to get people to realize that the sky is indeed falling, and you must make them laugh in the process.... Good luck Jim......"

Yeah, and you thought YOU had a tall order to fill.

So I got to thinkin' and readin' and googlin' and such..........................
I found this guy who made this political cartoon. He's misguided as hell, and has both feet in on the Dark Side of issues, but he uses humor (well.......) to get his point across.

I gotta find something funny in having our freedoms stripped away like Michael Jackson's fortune after the funeral.
I gotta see something funny in watching some "health care expert" on the Today show join the propoganda fray, and attempt to convince Americans that we really NEED to submit our freedoms and very lives to a panel of bureaucratic experts. You know, government experts.

Sigh.
I don't know if I can find it.
I'm terrified, to be honest, and most people dont even realize the ramifications of it all. Most people are trusting and relying on a media that is hell bent on keeping the dots as unconnectable as possible.

This saving the world thingy is going to be harder than I imagined. People are more inclined to believe experts and talking heads on TV, not some goofy dirt merchant on the injured reserve list.

But I got you to laugh, and to think.
I opened up myself to you(se) to get you to trust me, in my insight and my judgements.

And here you thought I was just being mushy.

My wife tells me that people are more inclined to listen to what's being said if its said in a certain way.
I say its a matter of trust.
You may have spent the past few or dozen or whatever years studying the economy, your degrees, or your business.
I've been studying THIS. I've been neck deep in this puzzle that is this administration and this movement of his. It didnt start with the last campaign, or the last election. It started around 1900.

Trust me.

I promise to try and make you laugh, while scaring the frickin bejeebus out of you.

Trust me.

still doesn't add up

2009-07-23T17:19:00.008-04:00

Well, if you're gonna get hurt, this is the way to do it. I'm assuming there are no boss-types reading this, because I can hardly get family members to waste their time here.

Like the old saying goes, a day at the beach beats a day at work, or something like that.

Call it R&R. Call it therapy. Call it a comp room at the Hilton in A.C., and every one of them would be correct.

So I'm sitting at the Hilton Tiki Bar in the afternoon, (not addin up) getting serviced with drinks by Hilton-ettes, when this GUY walks in. I noticed THIS guy. Tall (maybe an inch shorter than me)

well built (but not powerfully built like me :-), and dressed like a J Peterman catalog model carrying a Guess? shopping bag.

Yep, three dollar bill, but he turned the head of every woman in the place. Even the older jewelry hangers. So naturally I thought (first) I could take this guy WITH my dominant arm in a sling............................ BUT, the clincher, was "he cant write like this".

Women LOVE writers.

At least thats what they tell me. Words melt em.

Yeah, 30 years too dammed late. Thanks a lot, girls. All I can hope for now, is to save the frickin world.

So a mystery bite turned days off, turns into a beach trip and all the amenities....................yeah, I'd say that none of it adds up.

Especially the bite part.

Still dont have a clue what happened, and still not much relief from the antibiotics or whateverthehell I'm taking. Except for the crankiness. Supposedly "irritability" is a side effect .

I should have started taking these about 30 years ago, at least then I'd have an excuse.

I think kids clothing should come with that warning label. "causes irritability, Especially if placed in a car with individuals wearing said clothing, for more than 15 minutes, and increasing in intensity exponentially after that". Yeah, that'd be truth in advertising right there.

Sheesh.

Well, the good news is, nobody got ejected from the vehicle, nothing got caught on camera, and the kids had a trip to the beach. I'd call that a win win win.

Oh, You dont have little kids? Or are yours those disgusting polite and quiet types?? (I always look for shock collar marks on those kids)

Now I Love my kids, (they're all alive, aren't they?) but you knnow how it is.

Like Bill Cosby said, "they're all retarded". Unquote. Dont crucify me, thats HIS line.

Their job, it seems, it to push us parents over the edge. What comes after that is uncertain, but I'm pretty sure thats the immediate goal.

Notice where I am in the picture. Notice that teensy weensy little cluster of colored blips in the distance. Uh-huh, my wife and kids. (My wife was the one yelling "JUMP!")

Aaaaaah, the sound of the sea. The distance between me and the screaming little cherubs. And the sound of the sea. THATS, a vacation. Combine that with not having to drive, but instead this time, I was the one with the I-pod shoved in my ears, turned up to warp-factor three. Ah bliss, with only muffled screams, flying objects, and occasional jerks of the steering wheel to interupt me.

Imagine my wife getting mad at ME, when I politely mentioned to her that its AWFULLY difficult to read, dear, with you driving so erratically and screaming so much. "Its no good for your blood pressure" I added.

Geeze. Try to be a nice guy, and you get "the look".

I cant win.

I go and sacrifice my body by getting bit by SOMETHING so the family can get a little R&R, and STILL I get in trouble.

Nothing adds up.

I think I'll eat my fudge...........................................

a Frickin Bug......................

2009-07-21T14:46:00.004-04:00

So I'm sitting in the doctor's waiting room, and I think "great. This is what it'll be like sitting in Gods waiting room..."
"SO why are you here?" I say to someone next to me, wearing an old american army uniform......
"I died on D-Day", he says.
"So what are you here for?"
I say to an executive looking individual, dressed in business attire.............
"I died on 9-11".

Then someone axes me, "What about you?"

"A frickin bug" is my reply. Yeah, that'd be my luck. A frickin bug does me in. Not cutting a live 16,000 volt power wire, then jumping into a muddy hole and picking it up, oh no, that'd be too logical.
Not cliff diving or helicopter repelling from or car accidents or being caught 20 miles off shore on Lake Ontario in a storm so bad it'd make george clooney crap his pants..................
Nope. Not those or a hundred similary stupid incidents in my life.
I die from a bug.
Perfect ending to a drama queen, eh?

Remember that broken finger?
Turns out it wasnt broken at all.
Oh it still hurts like hell, and my entire hand is all swollen up like he Stay Puff marshmallow man's hand, but nothing is broken.
It seems a tiny insect (with its maniacal little fangs so small they barely left a mark), caused a reaction in my body that necessitated a visit to the doctor.
Now understand I go to the doctor about as often as some idiot co-worker unleashes a skid of railroad ties on my arms.......ok maybe thats not a good analogy.
Point is, this frickin HURTS, and I cant use my hand. Doctors orders, for 5 days.
I said "doc, you gotta be kiddin me. I have kids. What am I supposed to do, KICK em?"

Oh relax, its a joke.

Kickin' leaves marks, I know beter than that.........................

Doc says that any useage of this hand will increase the risk of the infection spreading, and if I think 5 days off work is bad, how does a month in the hospital sound!?!?!?!
Good point doc.
It sucks, but its a good point.

So here I sit, for the next 5 days, with nothing between my mind and yours, except...............well, nothin'.
Hopefully for you, maybe it'll come up with something interesting to read.

Pray for a disaster to befall me. Those can be hilarious.

I got a sneaky suspicion that this bug bite is just the begining...................................
Maybe I'll go down in the basement and put on my old hockey gear, you know, "just in case", for protection and all. God knows I could use some protection.
Just Like Noah, I wont be the stupid looking one when the sky starts falling on me.

Frick.

Last Call For Apples

2009-07-20T18:43:00.006-04:00

Progress. Its a wonderful thing. 6 days into it, and the difference between before I got there, and now, is noticable.

The kitty is much better, f'rinstance. Well, better fed, and he now has a little stone hut on the edge of the property to keep him (her?) safe from bigger, meaner, meat eatin' critters at night, or when Cruella DeVille the cat hater client comes around...............

The kitty wont warm up to me though . Not like I want it to devote its life to me, but gee whiz, a rub on my leg and a purr "thanks" would be nice once in a while.

Oh it comes a-runnin' when I come up the steps in the morning to work, but it just wants to eat. The minute I bend down to attempt to pet it, its off to kitty kastle again.

Before work I stop at the Sheetz and get a coffee, a string cheese/slim jim kind of snack, and a can of kitty food, for our mascot.

I know I know, the whole reason for starting to take care of it was because it needed taking care of, not for any return affection.

But gee whiz. A crumb would be nice at this point.

Ok, I'm a little cranky today.

I broke my finger. I think. It hurts like hell, is swollen, inflamed, and with that hand, I couldnt squeeze the toothpaste out this morning. Hitting stones with my mallet with the same hand all day long will have an effect on one's disposition, I suppose. Its not the kitty's fault.

She also doesnt know that I will only be on the job for 2 more days, and then after that, its on its own. The other sentimental types from the company left the site last week. Now, its just me and kitty. Next week the "work release" crew comes in. (shudder)

Yikes. Maybe getting eaten by a coyote or getting goodyear disease on the road isn't so bad after all.

Hard not to get attached when you "adopt" or put effort into something, y'know? Dogs anyways. Not so much with cats, but this one is special.

I'm a Labrador guy, and dont want any other type of dog.

But.

I was working on a job when someone offered me a Lapso-Shitzu mop thingy puppy, and knowing I would

A: thrill my kids, and B: give my wife gray hair, I said "sure".

Its the kids and wife's dog. I dont claim any responsibility or affection for it, cuz its just a footwarmer, and it expects to be treated like royalty. I buy its food and the kids provide it with all the attention its little royal heart desires.

Point is, I reserve my affections for dogs that I have a relationship with. Not just because. Dogs I bond with through things like working /training together and sharing sandwiches in duck blinds in snow storms and such. Guy and dog stuff.
Stuff that bonds and binds us. Not footwarmin and "ooh lookit how cute I am with a bow in my hair....." Good grief.

This kitty doesnt think it's royalty. In fact, the other day I noticed that it actually felt good enough to play, and thats a very big improvement. It was rolling around and chasing rock chips I would roll towards it (man I hope the bosses arent reading any of this).

This kitty will never expect fancy feast in a crystal server. 9 lives right out of the can, and its all happy to see me. Or the 9 lives. I havent figured that part out yet. Life support, or bonding?

I suppose it doesnt matter.

Its all about the kitty.

Gee, I should have gotten in touch with my feminine side a long time ago, this is fun.

Or not. Better to have waited till now, when I can defend myself better.

Anyways, everybody wants me to bring the kitty home.Well, of course except my wife. You know, the reasonable one.

I'll give the kitty a couple more days to warm up to me.

Too bad the kitty cant read, eh? :-)

Years ago I planted an apple tree for my mom, and the thing grew like a weed, upwards, but never made even one apple.

So one day I went out to it and said "alright tree" (I called it tree cuz I didnt name it, I'm NOT crazy after all.....)

"I'll give you till NEXT year to grow some friggin apples. If not, its the fire pit for you....."

The Next year, we had a bumper crop. (true story) Fertilizer shmertilizer. Show the trees who's boss.

I'd do that to the kitty, but I cant.

I already named it.

Letting go of the wall

2009-07-19T08:51:00.007-04:00

There was a place where we used to go to swim and "hang out" when we were all younger.
Actually, the place is still there, but its private now, so this generation of misfits cant go there to enjoy the beauty of it.
There is a waterfall on the Lehigh River, just downstream from rt 115. Its a spectacular place, with a big (15 or so ft.) thunderous waterfall, and a deep "hole" into which the afore mentioned misfits used to jump and dive into.

We all knew that you had to jump "just so" because there was an underwater ledge that was invisible from above the water, and if you hit it, we surmised, it would be all bad.
One day, I got the courage (stupidity, sudden lapse of all sense whatsoever......) to dive in head first, but what the heck, I knew where and how to do it, so.................
I did. And I hit the water like the aflac duck launched across a yard..................and as I hit the water, I held my breath for two reasons. The first being obvious, and the second being sheer terror.

And for good reason.
I got out of the water, and noticed my toes were all bloody, and they hurt like hell.
I missed that portruding ledge alright, for the most part. Except for my toes. They wacked that ledge and paid the price for it.
THAT, is what you call a close call. Maybe 6 or so inches different, and I'd have gotten it right in the name of the father.
But, being a slow learner, I didnt stop there. A year or two later on my journey to top the last stupid move, we were once again swimming, but this time in a nice, safe, suburban inground swiming pool. We were warned to "dive shallow", because it was a short, small inground pool, and someone previously hit the bottom.
Yeah, not a good combination.
Standing on the diving board, I remembered the warning/instructions, and let er rip. "watch THIS girls," I thought and entered the water like....well...a dorky teenager. "ok, dive shallow", I thought as I dove in, and then swept my arms to pull myself up to the surface..................and I hit, this time, right in the name of the father.
Then my neck snapped, and my mouth hit full force on the bottom of the concrete pool.
As I lay on the bottom I thought (and I'm not making this up) "this cant be good, I gotta get outta here...."
But my body couldnt do what my oh-so-eloquent brain was suggesting. The whole neck snapping thingy.
I'm not sure of much after that point, but I do remember someone holding me outside the pool while I spit teeth out, and then its all blurry......

So I dont dive much anymore. Fool me twice, and its a done deal.
I'll take up a safer sport, like Ice hockey. Sounds reasonable, right?
Being stationed in North frickin Dakota, and doing things like repelling from hovering helicopters for fun and profit, I figured ice hockey was not only logical, but safe by comparison.
Skating is like flying. Probably a lot like surfing, without the sharks and girls in bikinis. Freedom and exhiliration, all while getting to crush other like minded freedom and exhiliration loving individuals in the process. What a sport.

Many years after my swimming mishaps, I'm in the locker room with teammates getting geared up for the nights game.

I come off with "I got some bad news and some good news today. The bad news, is that I had my first colonoscopy. The GOOD news, is that I'm definitely not gay."

I learned that night there are some jokes that don't go over very well in a room full of naked men.

I learned a lot that night, as it turned out.

So I'm 40-something years old, and headed up ice (I cant remember if I was chasing or being chased with the puck, but I'm certain there was a fast 20 something stud in the picture providing my need for increased speed.....)
anywho, I'm flying like the wind, and then, yeeeeeeeouch. I leap off the ice in excruciating pain, hit the ice in the fetal position, and slide.
Headfirst into the boards.
Whomever was chasing or being chased by me, skated by and yelled "CLEANUP ON ISLE THREE" (a little hockey humor there), but I was stuck there, not sure what the heck just happened. A ref skated by and asked if I was ok, and I spoke (whispered) "yeah"
Then I crawled, ala snoopy behind enemy lines, across the ice and back to the bench.
There I undressed, and found the problem to be that my upper thigh (you know, THAT area), was completely black. I ripped something but good. My hamstring was sprung. So much for freedom and exhiliration.
Now all my gear sits in bags in the basement, but every once in a while I look at it, and remember why and when. No, its not a yoot thing, its a heart thing.
I'm not afraid of the pain, but I need to be physically fit for my work, or I cant work. Being the bread winner means everybody suffers if I dont bring home the bread. What I do affects others, so decisions are about more than just exhiliration and freedom.
Yes, I want to skate and play again, but theres a lot of risk involved. If I dont get hurt, its as good as it gets, but if I do, then its all bad.
While driving yesterday, I saw an old teammate jogging , so I stopped and talked to him for a while.
Yesterday got me thinking about all this.

How many of you go to the ice arena and rent skates, only to clip clip clip around the ice, while holding onto the wall?? You know, like a three year old in her fathers shoes??
That aint skating.
Let go of the wall.

Fly.

Fallings not so bad, by comparison.

Just make sure you dont hurt someone else out there in the process.

The doctor is in....................

2009-07-16T19:43:00.003-04:00

Some people are "helpers". Its in their nature. Its what they do.

Me? I fought and kicked and cussed my way so I could work all by my damseff, and now people come up to me and ask me, "Whats the meaning of life"? (With a couple freakin fricks thrown in just for effect).

Gee, here, lemme put this 150 lb stone down and get right back to you................

I sat down (relax, any boss-types, we GET breaks, y'know)....and we had a chat. Two dirty (albeit fit and strangely enticing) dirt merchants discussing the meaning of life. Again with the mental images. Most people dont think construction types HAVE conversations like this. Mostly, we don't, but the world aint what it used to be, so I suppose I should get used to this.

What a 15 minute conversation. We talked about A-theories and E-theories and aliens and quarks and negative energy (ooooh I just go the attention of the educated crowd). It was pretty interesting, especially given the setting.

Now I admit that the kid was a college student sumer help worker, but still.................its not what I expected to have to answer when this day started out.

God knows that there are enough shiney objects to keep my mind occupied without some discombobulated kid coming along and making me FOCUS for a while.

He said he's a geo-physicist student, and he likes to understand "things" from a scientific standpoint.

I said you cant understand faith from a scientific standpoint, thats why they call it faith and not science. He laughed at it, and then he got it.

(neato, I snuck one by a geo-physicist student)

We talked about Tesla and his energies theories and the Philadelphia experiment and we talked about current events as they pertain to ancient prophecies. He thought he was confused, then I showed him there are things he never even heard of yet, to be REALLY confused about...................

The kids a complete mess, and where does he go for help?

To the guy on top of the hill, cutting stones under a tent, listening to kenny chesney sing "something sexy about the rain".

Makes sense, right?

Note to self........find a can and write "advice, 5 cents" on it................

Oh yeah, and get more kitty food.

Turns out the kitty is getting better, the client is a huge Obama supporter, and she HATES cats.

Now THAT, adds up...................................

broken hearts and kittens

2009-07-14T21:30:00.005-04:00

theres a testosterone tester for ya, huh?
Tonight, someone very dear to me called me and told me that her love is leaving her.

What do you say?
We talked as best we could on a phone a hundred something miles apart from one another.
Hugs are what works best in these cases, but the right words help, too.
I didnt have too many, I'm afraid. Shakespere would be hard pressed to alleviate the pain of a broken heart, an ill equipped dirt merchant is like the proverbial fish on a bicycle.

I tried honey, I tried.
I know how bad it hurts, trust me I do.

I'm not that old.

It will be ok, despite what it feels like now.

Trust me.

Normally, I work alone, or at least alone on jobsites.
Not this time.
Its like a major construction site, with machines and dozens of people and proucts being moved in every day.
Like a frickin sleeveless shirt circus.

I'm on a seperate section of the project, doing my thing. Now you have to understand that I make one HUGE noisy mess doing what I do, and it was a real shocker to see a teeny tiny little kitten stumble into my work area.
I wear ear protection due to the racket my stone saw makes, and this pathetic little kitty just stumbled up and laid down in front of me.
It had a cut in its ribs, and its eyes were all crusted over.
The poster child kitten of "spay and neuter your animals".
Lets go back to the setting.
Machines, BIG machines, guys working moving earth and rock and doing guy stuff. (y'know, cussing and scratching and such)
And heres this pathetic little kitty.

One guy goes out and gets some kitty food and some medicine spray for its wound, to keep the flies off of it.
I cut up two coffee cups, to make food and water bowls.

You'd swear Pamela Anderson Showed up to take donations for the SPCA or somethin.

Sometimes it just doesnt add up. Do what you can, and dont try to figure out the "Whys" all the time.

Joe and Rose

2009-07-12T14:17:00.007-04:00

Yeah, two posts in one day, and the day I complain about people posting everything about their lives on facebook.
30 seconds after I posted the faxebook post, I see flashing lights in front of my house. Then behind that, a SUV with a coroner placard on it.
My next door neighbor Joe, was a union painter who just retired this year. In fact, I said to him just a few weeks ago, that I hoped he would be able to enjoy his retirement.
As neighbors go, he was as good as it gets.
Quiet, friendly, offer you the shirt off his back if you needed it, and would occasionally get my atention by yelling my name across the fence, just to give me surplus produce from his garden or smoked salmon from his fishing trips.
Apparently. Joe went out to his garden last evening, and died there.
Joe has a friend named Rose who would spend many days here with Joe, and Rose is as nice a person as Joe was.
Some (the usual suspects who have never loved, perhaps) questioned their friendship, but their closeness was evident. They loved each other.
I saw Rose a few moments ago, and she sobbed on my chest as she told how sorry she was that she didnt come here last night "so that he didnt have to lie there all night, alone..............."
She is heartbroken.
No other details matter.

Life is short.

Facebook

2009-07-12T12:16:00.007-04:00

Talk about not adding up.

Bear with me, as I'm a wee bit technologically challenged. Being new to Facebook and how it operates (and even what the heck its all about), is a bit of a mystery to me.

But its a great place to accumulate friends. They come out of the woodwork the moment you join up.

Making friends in real life is a lot harder, and a lot more complicated than it is online.

Apparently the only criteria is that you have something (ANYTHING or anyone) in common, and voila, friendship.

If it were only that simple in the real world.

I've yet to encounter anyone who wasnt positively giddy on facebook, and even those who were on the lower end of the giddy scale, seemed to be headed to giddyville on the express track.

Whats my point? I dont hang out with giddy people. Besides the fact that most of them voted giddily for B.O., giddiness annoys me.

I wonder if these friends will help me when I need my garden tilled, or when my car breaks down?

THOSE kinds of friends, we all need. And, they dont have to be bothered with me sharing what I had for a mid-morning snack today, either. Like they care.

Like they have nothing better to do than read about me stubbing my toe a minute ago, or that I opened the fridge and found nothing desirous inside..........................Oh the Horror.

My friends are like me. They're doing stuff. And not telling all their friends all about it at every turn. (No, this is NOT the same thing. I space it out).

I never "woo-hoo" in real life. Do you? Lotta woo-hooing going on on facebook. I think it has something to do with the giddness and all.

maybe I really AM missing the point. God knows giddy people sure appear friendly, so maybe THATS the secret.

To woo-hoo and tell everybody all the mundane occurances of your life.

Geeze, and here I've just been wasting your time with "we're all gonna die, the country is in the toilet, and flowers. and such".

Stubbed toes and descriptions of yesterday's salads it is, from here on out.

Or not.

I dont even care about salads and stubbed toes.

The inside of my head is like Times Square these days, the last thing I need to do is start focusing on salads.

Its hard enough the way it is to stay focused.

I'll end up stubbing my toes or playing whack-a-mole with my fingers while setting stones at work..

Or something.

I'd better stick to the End of the World and my general purpose drame queen stuff.

Can I get a woo-hoo?

Flowers

2009-07-09T22:48:00.004-04:00

Know why I like em?
Its because they're not here very long, and they ask us to siddown and notice something valuable (for cryin out loud) before its too dammed late, and they're all gone.
Its because everything is aligned against them, from climate to insects to diseases to soil conditions to you name it, yet here they are again.
They're delicate, and yet tenacious.
Beautiful, and tough.

Like me. :-)

Like people in general.
If you dont slow down and notice them, pretty soon they're all gone, except they wont come back next spring or summer.
Once people are gone, they're gone.

I sat and talked for hours with a friend tonight, and it was a night well spent.
Its a friend I'm still getting to know, but one of those people you just "click" with.
We talked about our mutual interest in flowers, and our mutual philosophy of life. That struck me as odd, when I thought about how different we are, in age in background and accomplishments and all that. Sort of a frog and a princess kind of relationship. But still we click.
We sat and watched hummingbirds feed on Monarda flowers all evening, and each time one buzzed by, it was an event. It was appreciated, and noticed .
We could all survive rather nicely on the small things in life, if we werent so easily distracted and overcome by the shinier things.

Coming off a tremendous tragedy in her life and struggling through major physical ailments, I felt like just hugging her all night, but she just talked and talked and talked.
Sometimes, I found out, people just need to talk, and tell us of their accomplishments and meaningful events in their lives.
Sometimes, our job is to merely listen, and to learn.

And to watch the hummingbirds feed on the flowers.

Nice work if you can get it................................

Tight Joints

2009-07-02T20:52:00.010-04:00

Well that got the Jamican Contigent perked up.

Mon.

The first stone I laid was a large one, but feeling full of vim(?) and vinegar, it didnt feel all that heavy.

The last stone in the puzzle (upper right photo) was tiny by comparison, but it kicked my butt. It could have been the fifteen hundred in between, but today, chiseling the last stone, I was spent.

Whats it been, 3 weeks since the post about the first stone being laid? Its been a long 3 weeks.

(mon)

Once again, I've learned a lot in the process. Or at least learned something.

Like hard work is always worth it.

Like most people appreciate hard work, and a job well done.

Like pats on the back are always welcome, especially from the right people.

There are worse things to be told, than "you're good", thats for sure. Especially when the right people tell you that you're good. Little things stick with us forever.

Like having an 83 year old retired contractor tell you "man thats some fine work".

Hard work isnt easy though, and nothing worth getting, is ever easily gotten, is it?

There are days when you dont want to do it at all. There are days when you want to be somewhere else. ANYWHERE else.

Those are the days that define you.

I know everybody feels that way with their work, but I believe its different when theres no one else to hide behind, nowhere to hide, no slack time to hide in, no easy day to recouperate in. Just lay the predetermined amount of square footage, the end.

On or near the last day of the project, I go back and review some work that for whatever reason, isnt up to par. There were a few stones that had to be replaced or relaid, but not too many. 3 out of 1500. I can live with that. Thats not bragging, thats just saying that even a A.D.D. riddled troglodite can stay on target when there are no shiney objects to distract him.

And I LOVE shiney object. No, really. Sometimes I'm fortunate I dont lop my toes off because of distracting shiney objects.

My wife brought me lunch one day, and complimented me on how nice it looked.

(tick tick tick)

then she said, "How come you dont do such nice work at OUR house??" (boom)

(hang on, I gotta yank a dagger out of my heart...)

No, she said, "these joints are really tight and everything is so perfect..."

"Yeah, well, thats what you get when you pay money for me to do something"

and before the words were even done being out of my mouth, I had to make sure my foot didnt garble up the sentence too much.

So I thought about it.

Why is it that we dont make sure that we do our best work at home?

Why do we worry about impressing others, whose opinion of or value to us, is far less important?

Is it because they pay us?

Very few of us save our best work for those who are most important to us.

At least thats what I've read.

And thats what I'm guilty of.

Give the customers what they pay for, and save my best for home.

Sounds easy enough, but the paying customers get me first, and I dont feel my best by the time I get home.

I believe they call that a connundrum.

Even when I finish a project, I learn I gotta start all over again.

At home.

The American Dream.

2009-06-25T21:00:00.003-04:00

I wonder if Michael Jackson would rather;
A: have the life he had, and be as dead as he currently is, or
2: wake up and be ME, who eeks out a living and has to wake up and go cut stones all day.
But I get to wake up tomorrow.
I get another chance.

His chances are done, his "appointed time to die, and then the judgement" is here.

Kinda makes the above ground pool in my backyard a lot more attractive than the amusement park in HIS backyard, heyna or no?
I still get to show God that I really Do believe in Him, and am going to show my family that He is real.
After its all said and done, whats Michael Jackson Got??
A legacy?
Pol Pot's got a legacy, big stinkin deal. Mother Theresa's got a Legacy, but thats another story, and more like what I want.
What do YOU want?
Whats the BEST you can hope for from your life?
College and a good career/life for your kids?
Really?
Intelligent people think that THAT is "the American Dream".
Thats a lie.
A BIG lie.

Do You REALLY believe that a GOOD college and a GOOD job, is the MOST you can hope for in your or your kids life!?!?!?

(heres where we seperate the thinkers from the "materialists")

What about AFTER that?
I mean after you flatline like michael jackson?
Materialists, you see, dont believe there IS anything after that, and that is where I and they differ.
Do you know who materialists are?
Scientists and the scientific community, for the most part, are materialists.
To them, Michael Jackson is nothing more than a tree that has died and fell over in the forest. All gone.
Worm food, and nothing more.
Well, maybe he contributed to the human experience while he lived and breathed, but now?
Nothing.
Babka.
Nichts.
But what about michael jackson? What about where HE is right now?
Not the songs or videos he made, but the person of michael jackson?
Materialists believe there is no such thing as a "soul" or a "spirit" or a human.
Once dead, you're as significant as a piece of gravel. You are nothing.

What do YOU think?

Think God cares about song writing abilities? Think "Thriller" impressed a God who made the milky way?
I don't.

If the Materialists are right, nothing matters.
If I'm right, THEY'RE all screwed.

People, like no other time in your lives, you'd better think about what you believe .

Its all that matters.

Did You know.............................

2009-06-21T11:20:00.002-04:00

That the reason for the mandated switch to digital television signals, from analog, was to "free up the analog bandwidth for use by emergency first responders"???

Anybody hear or see anything about all the new communication abilities for "emergency first responders"?
Yeah, me neither. Oh well. I'm sure congress had a good reason to pass a law dictating the type of television signal we receive.

Did you know that congress passed a law mandating that automobile tire manufacturers place RFID (radio frequency Identification) chips, into tires??
Why does the government care if RFID chips are (or are not) placed in tires of cars?? Why TIRES, if cars manufactured after 2005(?) already have ID chips installed?

Did you take a trip down any interstate lately? Specifically one that runs through or near a major metropolitan area? Notice (if you do) all the poles along the highway, with small nondescript white boxes place on them, about 10 or more feet off the ground.
Those are RFID readers.
Like your "speed passes", that speed you through the toll booth. You know, for convenience's sake.
DID you know that Houston Texas is the first American city to be completely covered, so that if you enter the city with a speed pass type of device in your car, your car is tracked constantly within those city limits?
Oh, you thought it was just to speed you through the toll booths??
Silly you. Like OnStar is just to help you if you are in a car crash, right?
Silly, silly you.
For whatever reason, the powers that be are interested and/or determined in tracking automobile's movements. Now you can say that it is for our sake, or for our convenience, or what ever nice reason you could get people to swallow, but I ain't buying it.
When congress made the effort to have RFID chips placed in tires, that proved to me that safety and convenience wasn't their motives.
Its to track individuals, not their safety.
Go buy a set of tires today, and see if you have to give the tire seller your name and address, and if the vehicle they go on doesnt HAVE to be registered.
Go ahead, try it.
Big stinkin deal, you say.
Yep, big stinkin deal.
So they track where you go.
Yep, big stinkin deal.
So no books written by Jews will be allowed to be sold.
Do you get it?
Its called incrementalism. Small steps that are not only tiny, but are for your own good. One after another after another, until we are all out of steps.

"This will help fix the problem".
We are told.
"This is necessary to fix the problem".

"Its the dirty Jews", the Germans were told.

I wish I were just being silly, or over exaggurating, or something.
I wish I was as wrong as you think I am.
The minds of the American people have been just as polluted (on purpose) as the minds of the German people were by the nazi propogandists.
No, nobody is going to get rounded up for a "final solution" here, but the results are basically the same.
Control of everything you do and think and say and BELIEVE.
Control. Thats what healthcare is all about. Its not about money, like Rush Limbaugh is ranting. Money is nothing to these people. Just a by product, or a bonus.
Its about control. Obama stated (when he promised not to tax healthcare benefits), that his healthcare plan "would lower healthcare costs through preventative measures..."
That means, that by preventing you from doing things that would adversely affect your health, he would lower healthcare costs.
And he and his panel of experts will be the ones to determine what activity adversely affects your health(care).

Plenty of influencial people are calling healthcare "the final solution". If healthcare reform passes, its all over.
Thats not me saying that (but I agree with it). Thats what SMART conservatives are saying. Like Wall Street Journal writers. And National Review writers.
They suggest that you call, write or email your elected representatives, but I know better than they do on that one.
Like with TARP and the original bailout package, it didnt matter that 90% of those who contacted their representatives opposed the bills. The bills were passed into law anyways.
Congressman Paul Kanjorski even joked afterwards that he had two basic opinons from constituents. "No, and HELL No".
That didnt change his vote.
You calling wont change his or any other voters vote on healthcare, either.
The media and the elected rulers know that this issue has been placed on the front burner, and that America's collective brain has been turned into mush on this issue. They know better than any of you "anti-progress" types, no matter if any number of you call and protest the plan.
But, if it'll make you feel better, call your congressman or representative. At least you'll feel like you've done some good, or at least made an effort.

Me? I'm redirecting energies.
No, not in defeat. Not really. Whats coming is coming, and the preparation thats necessary, isnt in fighting it, but withstanding IN SPITE of it.

Someone asked me if I might be writing this for myself.
The answer is no.
I already know all this, and know where I'm focusing my energies, and why.
I'm asking YOU, where is your focus? What are you prepared for? Life as normal?

Man, are you in for it.

If by chance you're interested in learning one teensy aspect of whats coming, read this.
Drop me a line, and you can borrow my copy (whomever borrowed my copy, bring it back).

Did you know what was in store on the second wednesday, last November?

I did.

Same Old Same Old

2009-06-16T21:01:00.003-04:00

Who here believes "OH ITS JUST LIKE IT'S ALWAYS BEEN?"

I've said a few times that I'm sick of poitics. I am. Politics isn't even politics anymore.

First, Obama said he didnt want to run the banks of america.
Then he forced them to take tarp money. The CEO of wells fargo banks said he was told in no uncertain terms, that unless he signed onto the tarp fund "bailout", he would not physically be allowed to leave the room where the "conference" was taking place.
THEN, the Fed said the banks "couldn't" pay back the monies they (forcefully) received, but instead the gov't "requested" that as a repayment, common stocks would be accepted instead.
Common stocks, for those of you who didn't know, give the federal government a SHARE, in the banks...............that Obama SAID he "didn't want to run".

And then Obama said "Ayyyyye, dontwantto run American carcompanies......", aaaaaaaaaaaaand then proceeds to set into motion a series of events that gives the federal government a MAJORITY share, of GM. Oh, and then he proceeds to FIRE the old ceo of GM, and appoint someone he deems "more worthy".

All this from a guy who says he doesnt want to run anything.
Like Healthcare.
He says he doesnt want to run that either, yet hes doing everything in his (omnipotent) power to make certain that the federal government in fact, DOES run healhcare in this country.
He SAYS he doesnt want a socialist healthcare plan, then tells us (over and over and over) that unless the federal government takes over healthcare in this country, the crisis we are supposedly in the midst of, will cause us to go bankrupt, again. You know, like we were going to go bankrupt if he didnt save the banks, and GM. Well, GM did in fact go bankrupt (even after a bazillion taxpayer dollars were spent to prevent exactly that), but its a nice happy kind of bankrupt.
So, Obama SAYS he doesnt want to run banks, but forces them to take federal dollars, and in return, demands common stock from them as a repayment.
He SAYS he doesnt want to run american car companies, but then gets a majority share in them, and fires the boss.
He SAYS he doesnt want a socialist healtcare program for america, and that he WANTS private insurers to remain in the mix, but every human with 4 working brain cells and ANY knowledge at all of The insurance industry, knows that if the federal government enacts this "non-socialist healthcare plan", it will result in every private insurer going belly up. And I dont think that Obama will come to their rescue, either.
THIS, is how this guy operates.
Always has.
Eliminate the competetion.
Sure must suck to be involved in Ford Motors these days. They have a HUGE bullseye on their heads, and Obama is sharpening up the sword as we type. Think I'm being silly about him eliminating the competetion?
Its how he got elected to his first public office. Oh he "regreted doing it", but stated that "it wasn't illegal".
This is how he did it.
He had a staff of "investigators" research every one of the 1,600 signatures collected by longtime south side activist (Chicago) and 5 year incumbent state senator Alice Palmer.
His team disqualified hundreds and hundreds of them, until they had enough disqualified to remove her name off the ballot.
(some for being printed instead of written, some for being filled out in maiden names when the
filler-outer was NOW married....)
Obama did admit to "being uneasy over the tactic", but added "If you couldnt run a successful petetion drive, then that raised questions in terms of how effective a representative you would be..."

"I dont want to run american car companies..."

You people need to wake up. You need to open your eyes to what is happening to OUR country.
Next week, ABC news is going to broadcast their NEWS, from the White House, and later in the evening, they are going to present a "news special" show on Barrack Obama's Healthcare reform Plan. With NO opposing points of view. From the white house.
In other words, ABC news, you know, JOURNALISTS, are going to be selling Obama's (non-socialist) healthcare reform plan. Do you understand what that means?
Does the name Josef Goebels ring any bells?
Google that guy. Oh gee, I just lost credibility because I referenced a nazi propaganda minister, and obama uses ABC to do his work, instead.

I know you want hope and change.
I know you wish for the best, and want the guy to succeed, because hes just so darn SMART and nice and his wife is so hot and all.
I get all that.
What you (collectively speaking to the american public) dont realize is what is actually occuring to our nation, while everyone is hoping for the best.
Whats happening isnt politics, its a coup, done with smiles and lots of "gosh-gees" for the cameras.

Do you care?

"I dont want to tell you what to think"
"I dont want to make you think that the president lies through his teeth every time he speaks"
"I dont want to make you depressed for the future of our great nation, like I am at times".

I should be president.
Then everyone would believe me no matter what I said and did.

sometimes you just gotta dig the stupid holes...

2009-06-14T21:59:00.005-04:00

"God must be busy today"
Ever heard that song?
Man, its pathetic.
Basically, theres war in the middle east and starving kids in africa, so it must be that God is slacking off.

I found Zoe tonight. Like we suspected all along, she went down to the water for a drink, and either had a seizure and keeled over while standing in the water, or something along those lines.
I found her today because the "crick" water lowered just enough where you could see where she was lying. It was an adventure to get her to where I buried her (I'll most graciously spare you the details), but now she is lying in an old camoflauge jacket, buried in the family pet cemetery.

So as I'm digging, I'm thinking, "ok Lord, lemme have today's installment.
Um, God, I'm all (GRUNT) ears, Lord. ( I do some of my best thinkin' while diggin'.
I'll share some of it sometimes.)

Not this time though. Nuthin.
Ah well.

Why'd it play out this way? I don't know.
Some of you more sentimental types believe we should or at the least could have taken her to the vet, you know, to be "put to sleep".
Naaaaah. Not because I wanted her to wander off by herself and not be found for three or four days (trust me on this). I disagree that God screwed up the whole death process, and that its only been finally perfected by Vets with euthenasia. Guess I'm not that enlightened yet.
Having taken a non scientific poll, it appears that the more value one places on animal life, the more likely they were to ask why I didnt have her "put down" yet.
Now some animal rights types believe that animals should have human rights, and no, thats not a typo.
Well, if they equate animals to humans, and they believe that giving those beloved critters a magic needle whenever they deem it "in the best interest of fluffy", then its not too much of a stretch to understand that old Grandma Gertie aint too far from the magic prick of the needle, either.
To put it in Obamics, its called "lowering the cost of healthcare, through preventive medicine".
Like say, preventing grandma Gertie from stressing the system too much. Especially if poor ole grandma gertie isnt very productive anymore. You know, if she cant "volunteer" and "give back" to society anymore.
I know, I know, thats just CRAZY talk, and we as an advanced (amoral), sophisticated (partial birth abortions), thriving (bankrupt) society, would NEVER resort to killing off those who are "just too much of a burden on the system".
No, never. thats crazy talk.

Uh-huh. Following the bouncing ball, kiddies. See where its headed.
It cant go anywhere BUT downhill, and its all downhill from here.

Not enough taxpayers paying in, too many people with needs taking out, and only so much care to go around.
You do the math.

Me? I just had to dig the hole to put zoe in.
Just remember to stay productive.

being prepared,chicken soup, and leftover sandwiches.

2009-06-10T19:07:00.006-04:00

You cant prepare for everything.
Trust me, I know. I've been trying to for a year or so, and its an upstream swim all the way.

Theres so much crapola to prepare for, that there just isnt enough money in the stimulus bill to get everything you need to be prepared for everything.
As it stands, I'm prepared for power outages, prison breaks, food shortages, fuel shortages, break ins (dont EVER walk in my house unannounced), and bad guys in general.
I didnt forget about all the crazy stuff Ive been telling you all about, I'm just redirecting my focus and energies (that, and the bunker is packed so tight I can barely get the concrete lid back on).
I was going to write of past and recent events that pretty much validate my preparedness "kick", but then something else came up.
Something I was "prepared" for, sort of,
but not how events played out.
So much for planning, I guess is the message.

About 30 years ago or so, I had a labrador retriever named nittany, who was really the smartest dog anyone could hope to have as a first dog. Her intellect gave me the confidence to train other labs, because she made it easy.
I could fill a zillion pages of bandwidth (whatever) with stories of things we shared together, and some were pretty good, but I'll fast-forward to the part of the past where she was about to die.
She was in pain at age 15+, and that was the deciding factor in my decision to "take her to the vet". I made a call to my vet, who was also a friend, who knew this dog well, and the appt. was made for the next day.
Nittany was in pain so much that moving her head as she lay caused her to yelp, loudly.
The evening I made the appointment, I lifted her onto a couch cushion, and held her head as she lapped up some chicken soup we made for her.
She lapped it up, and I put her head down, and that, I thought, was that.
The next day, I went to where she was laying, only to find her sitting up, with her tail going "thump thump thump" on the floor.
Well, thats all well and good, but we had this appointment........................
In the truck we both went, but before we made the final stop, we stopped for something we both enjoyed, Ice cream. It was just like the good old days, I held the cone, and she gobbled it up like a T-Rex popping a lawyer off a commode (a little movie reference there)
*poof*, like a fairy, it was gone. After the ice cream stop, we went to the spot where we launched my boat a thousand times to hunt for ducks. I carried her down the ramp, and set her down just outside of the water. She hobbled in, and stood there and looked out over the water. I KNEW she knew where she was. She lapped up a few tongue-fulls, and then I put her back in the truck, and off we went to the appointment.
She walked into the vets office, which was a great improvement for her from just a day ago, and when our name was called to see the doctor, I told him, "I made this appointment because she was in pain", then preceded to tell him about our errand run, and that she doesnt appear to be in pain now. .........
"I gave her some chicken soup last night, you think it had anything to do with her improvement", I asked?
"Couldn't hurt" the good doctor said.
So we both walked out of the doctors office, with a new secret weapon in hand.
A year or so later, she died in the night, at our current home.

I have this other old lab now. Zoe. She is also somewhere around 15 or 16 years old, and in failing health. She is deaf, has cataracs, and cant manage steps too well anymore. I dont even close the gate on the porch anymore because she goes potty often, and just hobbles in the yard, and hobbles back on the porch.
The other day, she stopped her "gakking" which was quite comical to hear, if you werent the one doing the gakking. It sounded like a grizzly bear gettin goosed. Except scarier.
The other morning before work, I carried her down the steps, so she could do her thing in the yard.
I told my wife to check and make sure she can get back up, and she said she made it back up by herself, and was there when she had to go run some errands herself.
When she came home, Zoe wasnt on the porch, but she often wasnt on the porch.
But this time she wasnt hobbling in the grass.
So my wife went down by the creek to see if she went down ther for a drink. Nope. She checked the entire property, and no sign of the old, hobbling deaf labrador. She checked high and lo, and no zoe.
I came home from work, and expanded the search to include water search and rescue, but she wasnt in the creek, nor anywhere downstream, either.
I knew she was going to leave this earth soon, but I thought I'd at least be able to bury her, or stroke her head, or something.
So much for plans.

So the day after she went missing, I came home from work, grabbed my lunchbox, and headed up the porch stairs.
Opening the box to take out the extra sandwich I usually have, and I hold it, realizing that there is no one to give it to anymore.
The new house-pet yip yip dog wanted it, but the new kids pet never plunged enthusiastically into icy water, to get MY dead ducks. She never made me feel important, or taught me anything.

I threw the sandwich in the garbage.

10 o'Clock today, on the jobsite, it hit me.

I could eat my extra sandwich today.
And I finally cried.