Sunday, 28 April 2013

More Stupidity from the people who brought you

buildings falling down when nothing hit them (you know, like airplanes).

An update on the mysterious carjacking victim involved in the barnum and bailey man hunt that took place last week in boston, ma.
(insert here)
The mysterious heretofore not heard of or identified carjacking victim from the boston "terror attack" has FINALLY surfaced. And he has told his story!!! reporter from One outlet.
The boston globe.
How quaint.
So, and Im going to remember this as best as I can but I was spending much of the time laughing, cursing, and throwing objects at my radio as I listened to the story on NPR.

Here goes.
Carjacking victim decided at approx. 12:30 that fateful night to go for a "joyride". I kid you not, those were the words used on air. So victim A goes for a joyride around boston (mind you when the city was GRIPPED with terror and uncertainty in the week after the terror bombings)....and as he was driving in no particular direction, he gets a text message.
So, and this is EXACTLY what the Globe reporter said " Her got a text message, and this tells you what kind of person this man is, because........HE PULLED OVER TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD TO ANSWER THE TEXT!!!!!"
And the silly ass reporter was being serious!!! Ok, picture painted. The guys probably got out to reverse some carbon molecules he just created also so as to make the earth a healthier place too, while he was not drivin while texting.
While he was pulled over , an older model sedan type car (read, junky P.O.S. so it MUST have been occupied by Bad PEOPLE, y'know those citizens who DONT pull over while texting), and the next thing he knows, ....

I cant make this shit up...but somebody did....

A MAN comes up to his car and says, "we're the boston bombers and we just killed a cop a coupla minutes ago!!!! Got any money!?!?!?"

Oh, you think I'm making this up. Like I said, I couldnt, but someone did. He only had 45 dollars (cuz he loves the planet and doesnt want to carry around too much cash and appear austentatious while driving his mercedes suv or somethin... So they took his ATM card and tried to use it, but they punched in the wrong PIN number. Second attempt got them 800 dollars, which was good, cuz these terrorist bastards were almost out of gas, AND they were still one gun short of being both called armed and dangerous. I imagine the tension was pretty high.
So they take the money, and drive off to a gas station to get gas. To PAY for gas. After....nevermind. While the younger terrorist is PAYING for the gas, the victim hatches a plan. Here's how he said it played out in his mind......
"The older terrorist was in the suv, but the gun wasnt in the terrorists hand, it was in the pocket in the door. So I thought I'd take my seatbelt off (I guess he didnt want the driver to get a ticket for driving without his passengers being buckled), open the door, SLAM the door, and run across the street to the convenience store there. The terrorist would have to grab the gun and shoot backwards over his shoulder while I ran". um. Well, he's the only one who's talking so we HAVE to believe his version, right?
The victim said the younger terrorist seemed not so threatening. He was "goofy". But the OLDER one, why HE was the BAD seed. He was all serious. And he was the one with the gun. Yeah. One gun. Even though they supposedly killed the MIT officer for his gun, with their gun, they still only had one gun. Want to know WHY they still only had one gun? Because these two terrorists who crippled an entire city and maimed hundreds of people with their home made bombs,..............couldn't figure out how to get the officers gun, out of the dead officers holster.
Again, I can't make this up. They could make a bomb that WORKS, but they cant find the button on the holster that releases the gun. Yep. That makes sense. But seeing how there was a funeral with thousands of lawr enfortcement types all lined neat and pretty and saluting and respectful, you are not allowed to question the official story. Just be remorseful and respectful dammit. No questions asked.
Oh, and shazzzam. Like I mentioned in my previous rant/post/take on the week's events, the victim "remembered" that his cellphone was in his car. And the good 9-11 call taker told him that his CAR had a gps tracking device on it as well.
The frazzled Mercedes owner said "it DOES?!" Well, now the chase was easier than tracking O.J. driving on the san bernadino hwy in a white bronco @ 20 mph. They could watch the pretty blinking red dot on a map, in real time. No helicopters or breaking news needed.
Well, they did that anyways, but AFTER the cops and robbers (bad guys/terrorists/wanna be jihadists) did a reenactment of the OK corral shootout. Helluva shoot out considering the bad guys only had one GUN, and the victim who was painstakingly detailed in his script, DIDN'T mention a stockpile of extra ammo or magazines (those things that the ammo goes into).
Huh. Big time gunfight with the cops firing a coupla hundred rounds, and the bad guys had one gun and one magazine. 15 rounds, max. They did have bombs though. And flung them at the officers (who were firing furiously at the bad guys). Hum. The victim didnt mention the stockpile of home made bombs being transferred into his SUV when they carjacked it.
Oh well. His mind was probably preoccupied with "slamming the door" details of his story. He was there, not me.
I believe every word of what he and the news media said happened. Every word. All those nuts that say the older brother was arrested, stripped nekked and placed in custody, BEFORE being shot and killed and run over by his brother, well, they're just nuts.
Even IF they are CNN reporters. That story changed, like so many stories change over time.
I believe it all.

On a happier upbeat note, this morning on NPR's news, there was a line about "The Taliban in Afghanistan ANNOUNCED that they would be starting their spring campaign soon".


okaaaaaaay. MY mind went to........Since when do groups like The Taliban make ANNOUNCEMENTS about "starting their spring campaign"!?!?!? It sounds like a new spring fashion line. "over heah we have AllyBoobah in a light but suprisingly comfortable assault gown......"
I dunno. doesn't make sense to me.
It would make a great skit on saturday night live though.
Have a Taliban lookin announcer standing outside a cave opening in the Hindu-Kush Mts with a mike and a smoke machine, and ..........well......

".....AAAAAAAAAnd HERE'S you STARTING lineup for the Spring 2013 campoaign!!!!! Starting at Suicidebomber, HIS whole family was blown to smithereenes while attending a wedding reception in 6 ft. 2 in......number forty SEVEN...........Aaaaaaaaaaachmed Shlazoooooooooomeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! (haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah)
....AND .at 15 years old, recently orphaned by a freedom spreading drone in Khandahar........starting as first machine gunner in the back of a modified Toyota pick up truck.........NUMber TWENTY TWO............... ShraZHACK TZmoook..zl....ah.
ahem (haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah)

.......And returning for his FORTY EIGTH spring 84 years of Allah Blessed age..............The Talliban's Taliban man.............NUMber 99.........Osaaaaaaaaaama BIN LAAAAAAAAAAADENNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!........." ( fistpumping with one hand, dragging dialysis machine with the other......)

You have to do the visual part yourself. Mine was pretty funny.
Not as funny as listening to the news, but pretty funny.

Oh. One more thing m'am. It seems there was a piece of a jetliner found. In NYC. A coupla blocks from ground zero. Last week. Investigators wore HAZMAT suits while investigating the heretofore missed piece of wreckage from that horrific day, 12 years ago. The investigators were worried about potential radioctivity in the piece of wreckage. And nobody batted an eye over that comment. The whole concept is preposterous enough, but WHY would a piece of plane wreckage from a plane crash 12 years ago be contaminated with radiation!?!?

carry on. Try to think while you're carrying, though.

Monday, 22 April 2013

USA!! USA!!!! USA!!!!!

I can't take it anymore.  
Whats sillier than claiming to find a drivers license of one of the supposed hijackers in the rubble of a collapsed skyscraper??  Well, nothing actually, but this is close.    50,000 (whatever the actual number, anything above a thousand and it gets silly exponentially) cops, soldiers, agents, tanks helicopters,.......for ONE 19 year old "suspect". 
This wasn't Jason frickin Bourne, folks.    A 19 yr old college student who by all accounts wasn't what the "evidence" makes him out to be.  
Time to put on your tinfoil thinking caps.   Why did the Boston Globe tweet this?   Does this make sense to ANYONE out there?   Seems a teensy bit coincidental.  
How smart are you?   Lemme ax you somethin.  If you just placed a bomb somewhere, would you stay in the area?  would you don a baseball cap and walk around knowing that there are cameras everywhere, especially in big cities in the land of the (buy one get one) free?  THINK.  How smart ARE you?   Smart enough to not walk out in front of a bus zooming by?  
story part B.   The suspects allegedly placed the pressure cooker bombs (which, were being called that MINUTES after they went off.   hmmmmmmmmm), then they walked away calmly and went about their lives.    4 days later the federallies released photos of the suspects, and the chase is on.  Supposedly they robbed a convenience store.  then they didnt rob the convenience store.  Then they supposedly shot a MIT police officer who was sitting in his car (bravely and heroicly we are told) because they were afraid he might identify them.  THEN they supposedly carjacked a mercedes suv, supposedly stole the suv's owners debit card and went to three different places to empty his account.   THEN, they just let the mercedes owner walk away, unharmed save for  emotional wear and tear.   Minutes after supposedly assasinating a police officer out of fear of being identified.  They let walk away the guy who could identify them, AND tell the federallies what kind of car they are driving, HELL, they could call onstar and track the goddam car in REALTIME!!!!
Yeah, that makes sense.  Oh, and before they let the guy go free, they told him (ala richard pryor and gene wilder)...."yeah, we BAD.....AND, we're the marathon bombers!!!"
Yeah, that makes sense too.   
Oh, and the supposed carjacking victim, is nowhere to be found.  Seems he doesnt want to be identified.  Hes hidden better than a 70 yr old terror mastermind draggin a dialysis machine through the hindu-kush mts.........
FUCK "privacy".  If I were a reporter, I'd find that guy and ask him what the hell exactly happened and why is he hiding?    Hell in this current climate of being a hero cuz you're sitting in your car, this guy could be on mt rushmore in a coupla years.   Or at the least have box seats at fenway in perpetuity.  
Doesn't add up.
And I'm not the first one to say that, either.
3 different people interviewed on the night of the big chase/manhunt in boston, all said that the federallies version of who these guys were didnt match up with the personal accounts of 10 years of association.  Not in the least.  The most damning bit of social media evidence they could come up with (and televise) was "I've been in america 10 yrs and I dont have a single american friend"      Gee, what a threat.
But wait, I'm just getting started here.    So the federallies announced a lockdown "request" that shut ALL boston businesses (except for the dunkin donut in watertown where it looked like a lawr enforcement convention.  I kid you not.  Can't have 50,000 cops without a goddam donut shop in sight, now can we?  They also cancelled all sporting events in Boston, and told residents to stay in their houses and lock their doors and don't open them unless there was a uniformed lawr enforcement officer (or a navy seal assault team) at the door.    Around 6 pm on friday, they must have run out of creme filling or jelly donuts or something, because the order was lifted, and the good heroic citizens were told they were allowed contrary requests, I guess,  leave their homes.   The federalli in charge said the suspect must not be in the area, so go ahead and take fido for a walk or do what it is you do when the city isnt shut down because of one guy on the run.....
Minutes later newsmen and busloads of lawr enforcement types and donut makers were making haste for a house ONE BLOCK away from where they were, because some brave heroic compliant citizen noticed a man fitting the discription of suspect #2, hiding in his boat.  In his driveway.   A block away.      DOZENS of gunshots and small explosions are heard coming from the area of the getaway boat, and then a request is made for a "fbi negotiator".     I guess the explosions and bullets softened him enough to want to talk to an official negotiator.   An hr or so later, a request is made for medical assistance.  
The brave officers (20 or 30 combat soldiers) stormed the boat with flash bang grenades and a hail of bullets (from their direction) and the suspect is taken into custody.   
And not read his miranda rights.   Well, because the white house says  theres this clause that  if the public is in danger or threatned then they dont have to..........
John Ashcroft said the next day that they didnt have to mmirandize the suspect cuz hell, the govt has enough evidence anyways to get a conviction, so we dont even NEED his statement!!!!
And the goddam idjit newsperson took that as a reasonable answer, from a reasonable expert!!!!! 
Last time I checked, Miranda rights weren't something set up to provide the govt with a surefire way to obtrain evidence, was it?!?!?!?
And I'm the crazy one. 
Not so much.

Now.  But wait, there's more.

Suspect in custody, guns are put away (for now), and the good brave heroic tight knit citizens of Boston come out of their homes, and what  do they do after a harrowing day of watching tv and playing on their computers and x-boxes!?!!?
They cheer and sing for the brave 50,000 soldiers/lawr enforcement officers and federallie agents who protected them so well in the past 24 hrs.   USA!!  USA!!!!  USA!!!!!!
My son saw that and said, what, did we win a game or something?
I replied, not exactly, but 50,000 cops soldiers with tanks and machine guns and helicopters and trained dogs and half the suburbans chevy ever produced, just caught a wounded 19 year old college kid who was hiding in a boat.
And they shot the shit out of him, too.

Other than that, its all good.
Well, they won't let anyone see him or let him have a lawyer or let a reporter or his family  see him or talk to him. 
Other than THAT, its all good.
And he can't talk, but he can write. 
I guess they needed a fbi negotiator/stenographer the other day.   The guy can't talk, but he needed a negotiator.
Oh,   I'm told that was BEFORE the 30 or 40 rounds of negotiation the brave heroes sent in the wounded 19 yr old college kid's direction.

Yep.  Thats how it went down. 
Now we have kumbayah moment of silences all over america and we sing the national anthem a little bit louder with a little straighter stance......cuz we won't let the terrorists win here in America DAMMIT!!!!!

Thats the FBI's job.  
They're the good guys.


Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Of Drones, and building a smarter planet

It seems the more I learn the less I know.  On CBS's morning show the other day they did a story on black box type devices already installed in most cars.   Seems there was a politician who wrecked his car and blamed it on a patch of black ice, but the nice insurance adjusters checked the car's recording device (which NOBODY knows are there) and found a different story.  The guy was going over a hundred mph.  and he wasn't wearing his seat belt, among other things.    The talking heads on the show, and for morning shows its the least giddy and annoying of them all, just shook their heads in disapproval and were resigned to the fact that there really IS no privacy anymore.   The black boxes are already instoalled on most cars today.   Funny how that didn't get much fanfare.      
Progressive Insurance has commercials promoting a device that one plugs into the cars memory, or black box, and by giving progressive the info contained in it, you can maybe get a discount.   Oh goody.   I can save ten or 30 dollars a year, and all I have to do is tell the insurance company everything about my driving and my whereabouts??  Whadda deal.   The commercial promotes the concept as a "cool idea".  Now I don't know what the hell is so cool about  giving away information that no on e REALLY needs to know, but in this age of facebook and tweeting ones bowel movements for all the world to see, I can see that I am in the minority.   Uncool, as it were.
Hey on a good note the city of Santa Clara California   now has free outdoor wi-fi!  The wi-fi is necessary to collect the data from the "smart" meters (you know, building a smarter planet, and all that...) that have replaced the OLD fashioned electrical and water meters that actually had to be READ by a PERSON.  Now, these newfangled SMART meters automatically SEND the information of how much and when you use and how you use you electricity and water to.....well.....the water and electricity authorities.   And the same crazy people who say this is just another step in the troglodyte trudge to total monitoring and control, say that the smart meters actually give off some pretty unhealthy vibes.  At least thats what this guy says.  The good news is, those nice really smart people at the huff post say its a lot of hooey.   And if you can't believe Arianna Huffington, who the hell CAN you believe??     You decide.   And post what you believe on facebook, please.   Somebody out there gives a shit.
4 years ago when I first started to wake  up everybody thought I was crazy with my wild ideas and talk of doom and gloom.   My crazy ideas have since evolved into a crazier realm, which are mostly based on a "take a look around" philosophy.   Just watch and learn and tell me what you see.    I don't see the sky falling anymore, mostly because it isn't.  What IS happening, is something called geoengineering, which has been talked about at length and in pretty eye possing detail, by the sciencey-types in charge of making the planet smarter.     I knew somebody was doing SOMETHING, but didnt know who or what.
At least I could SEE what was in front of us all, but most viewed my eyesight as crazy talk.   Thats ok.     Except for the part where it was being done without telling any of us.  You know, like the black boxes being installed into our cars.  
 Maybe I just need to be a little more trusting of the authorities who run things like, everything, and just let them do whatever it is they deem necessary, and just get on with my facebookin and tweetin and dancin with the stars-a-watchin.    Life is sure simpler that way.    Sure is easier than wondering who the hell has a drone bullseye on their head and whether or not its warranted or justified or legal or any of those icky questions.  
Or worrying about those eeeeeevil terrorist types who are "detained" in Gitmo and are now in the middle of hunger strikes.   Protesting their captivity!!! the NERVE!!!!  So we haven't charged them with any crimes or anything, we're just detaining them.   um........for 10 years.   and those rules apply to ANYONE we deem a terrorist threat to our great freedom spreading via drones nation of ours.   Watch what blasty the drone has to say about this stuff.    Its a cartoon, you'll love it.   And cartoons aren't real, so you can go back to facebookin and tweetin afterwards with no worries about nuthin.

In conclusion, like paul simon said, and I couldn't have said it better.