Tuesday, 12 May 2009

An Update

So I ran over my boss's duck.
Actually, it was my boss's wife's goose.

And shes an animal rights EXTREMIST.

And You think YOU've got problems.

This goose, which chased cars like a crazed dog let off a chain, got a little too close to my Penn State Van, and while not REALLY trying to hit it, I did. I didnt kill it, and it doesnt chase cars anymore, but animal rights wackos arent a very optimistic bunch. I dented it pretty good.

And someone felt it necessary to CALL my boss's wife, and inform her that her beloved goose just got goosed by a big white van with white feathers all over it.
And you think you got problems.

Aaaaaah I didnt care, too much. I was more upset that someone felt it necessary to rat me out, but even thats neither here nor there.
I'm secure in my value as an employee. You gotta do better than this.
Especially (EXpecially for you in Nanticoke), this year. Valuable is as valuable does.
Like Yogi Bera said, "If its true, it ain't braggin", and to paraphrase Mell Brooks, "Its good to be good". Comes in handy sometimes.
Like when you run over your boss's goose.

Onto the update.
My "friend" is still ok. You know, the one that told me stories of wanting to end it all.
The bad news is she told me that she still thinks I'm a simplistic fool for believing in God, but at least she didnt go postal yet, and thats a very big plus, all other things being considered. So maybe its enlightened to go postal, I dunno. I'll take simplistic any day.

So how are you doing?
I'm a wreck, thank you very much. And I see a lot of that going around these days.
Especially amongst married folks.
To all my married followers, hang in there, this too shall pass.
This is like a lunar phase, except more hormonic. And of course, its all our wive's faults.
To all you wife friends/followers? Shut up and cook more.

There, I feel better. Won't feel better after my wife reads this, but I got my wacks in now, all brave and all, when shes snoring, so its all good.

On a serious note, when I talk to three married people in a day, and all three say they're experiencing the same phenomenon (miserable spouses) I don't need any further instructions to put two and two together.

Hang in there.
He/She isnt as bad as they seem tonight.
Now you tell me the same thing.

This life thing sure isnt easy, is it?
Throw in kids and running over the boss's wife's goose, and it gets exponentially more difficult.

And some of you believe its hard to be studying in college.
Hell, some of us believe its a relief to get to think about things in depth, and not just rush here and there doing this and that and get screamed to and whined at and tugged on constantly.

I just found out today that another someone who apparently has it all, is about to lose it all.
Getting seperated, from their spouse.
And I mean has it ALL.

Nuthins' guaranteed in this life, folks.


1 comment:

  1. I hit two geese on the same damn day you did. Weird. I didn't kill them either, although I wish I did. Does that make me a bad person?

    I mean those damn geese are a traffic hazard and they were walking on the road and I couldn't swerve out of the way or I would have killed another human being in a car. And driving over two geese isn't a traffic viloation, is it?

    So in hitting those two geese, maybe I saved a human life. Maybe I didn't?

    Who knows.

    I'm still married and I work way too much.