Wednesday, 2 September 2009

I yuse-ta be a mason y'know...........

I imagine I'll be saying that to some whipper snapper someday.

Can't imagine that it'll be after I'm a recovering addict, weighing 300+ lbs, standing in the doorway wearing bermuda shorts and a 3 sizes too small t-shirt, however. But you never know.

Saying it to someone OLDER than me, to boot.

While HE is doing work for me that a third party is paying for, I might add.

"So howcome you're using these stupid stones instead of stamped concrete?" He asked me.

I said "have you ever seen stamped concrete? Its supposed to BE this stuff.

This, is what you call the real deal."

"I like concrete" he said.

"gee, big revelation there" I thought, but for a change held that one in.

"See those brick steps out front?" he asked me.

I said "you mean the Dr Seuss ones?"

"huh? No, the BRICK ones"...................

"nevermind, yeah, I saw em".

"Well, (he boasted) I MADE em. In 10th grade. I took masonry in school. At the VO tech."

"You peaked early", I said.

"Yeah, thanks".

Some people will complain no matter what, I suppose. Get a (many) thousand dollars worth of home improvements for free, and all you can say is that the noise is making it difficult to watch Jerry Springer inside.

Here, you can use my dust mask to cry in..............

In case you haven't noticed, I'm cranky tonight.

Don't know why, but maybe you can use it to your advantage.

Maybe seeing THAT guy wanting EVERYTHING, made me think about ME wanting Everything.

Here's a (whatever kind of) addict, no job, free house, free everything, complaining about getting the absolute BEST possible type of stonework available. Doesn't add up, nor does it sit well.

We all complain, and find enough to complain about rather easily, but this guy HAS to stay up late at night to find things to complain about.

"yeah, THATS it, I want my lazy hazy crazy days of summer to be construction free, so I can go to the clinic every day, and NOT have to step over icky men doing icky work, with icky tools all over the place...........................and I want CONCRETE!!"

Yeah, I CAN be kinda cynical when I want to, huh?

Everybody wants it all, myself included. Human nature, I suppose. Except for the drone types, who either dont know any better, or......................well.......................don't know any better. They're happy to "settle".

Maybe the guy who I talked to today has dreams too.

Maybe he wants to be a mason again (but after watching me for a week or two, I think thats doubtful). Who knows what his dreams are.

Do YOU have dreams?

I did. Do, actually. They won't go away. Theres only one thing I want to do, and its everything. It just won't go away. Hasn't for a lot of years now. The first time I realized it, I said "thats IT", and it hasn't ever stopped being "it".

I wrote about Frank McCourt in an earlier post, and suprisingly enough to me when I found out, his writing career didn't start until he retired from his day job, which was a teacher in the New York City Public schools. His career that got him a Pulitzer, started after he retired.
THAT, is inspiration to me. Its never too late, is what it says to me. Never give up.

So I figure either I haven't learned everything I need to learn doing what it is I'm currently doing, or this, is it.

I gotta go with A, because if its B, then I might end up hitching a ride to the methadone clinic with the ex-mason. Or worse.

Whats your dream?

You have one. Even if you don't know what it is. It may be buried, or it may be deadened by life and what has made you feel numb for a long time. Bring it back to life.

Get quiet, and listen inside. You'll know what it is.

It may surprise you when you find out, but its there.

If I can believe in me, I can believe in you, too.

Don't give up.

Don't never ever give up on your dream.

Its Everything.

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