Sunday, 19 April 2009

the end of the world, personally speaking.

Sometimes, having it all isnt enough. I wouldn't know personally, but I've known people who apparently HAVE had it all, and still it didnt prevent them from taking their own lives. Oh sure lots of theories emerged from lots of people as to the reason why someone educated, affluent, and respected would resort to the option of suicide. I didnt agree with any of em.
Having dealt with the demon that makes his living promoting that option, I can only assume that the same tactics used on me, which are utter hopelessness and despair, work on everyone, in every station of life. Pain is pain, whether mental or physical. How we handle that pain, makes all the difference.
Fortunately for me, God has placed a "knowing" inside of me, that is stronger than the (at the time) feelings of utter hopelessness. That "knowledge" is that He is indeed real, and life is more than a race to the finish line, or an acquisition of properties and/or status.
So I got that going for me.
The suicide of that friend I mentioned really "put the zap" on my thinking. A priority check, if you will.
I imagine not having a heck of a lot as far as status or societal standing helps me keep things "in perspective". I got that going for me too.
I have another friend that appears to be in some sort of personal struggle. A friend that believes (as far as I can assertain) God is a sunset, a mountain top, a "nature" thingy. I dont know about you, but while I've seen more than my fair share of spectacular sunsets, I've never got much in the way of comfort or reassurance from them. Awe, yes, strength to see another day through, no.
So how does someone who doesn't want to know or hear anything about a REAL God, hear that the only thing that can indeed save his life,is that living God??
And you thought you had a dilemma.

Spare me the psychological mumbo jumbo you may feel compelled to "share" as advice for my friend. If a man who was at the top of that field concluded that suicide was the option to pursue, I dont put much credence in Freud and his hypothesees.
The whole equasion tells me that there's more to life and the mind, than what we (sans God) have concluded. Even the best and highest "trained" amongst us havent a clue. Not when you throw extreme pain into the mix. Not at Zero-Hour, or on D-Day.

I'm not a gushy person. When I find myself troubled spiritually for another person, there's got to be a reason besides my part-time-drama queen status. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing with the troubled-ness, but I'm certain that its not "just to be supportive" and such.
I'm flat out scared by what I see. Scared, because I've felt that kind of pain, both physically and mentally. Scared, because I've seen what that kind of pain can do to people.
Scared, because if someone who "has it all" commits suicide, who DOES have any real hope?? Thats like a Couples therapist getting a divorce. Like a Ford CEO driving a Chevy. Like a Penn State Fan wearing a Michigan Shirt.
Its as bad as it gets, and it just doesnt add up.

Never being particularly worried about appearing the fool (what, YOU could put stuff like this down for all to see???) I suppose here is where I could promise to "show you all how God changed this one anti-God person".
But I cant promise anything regarding my friends future, my faith in God notwithstanding. We make our choices, based upon (at best) what we believe to be true.
"Well, if this is all there is to life,whats the point!?!?!?"
That kind of "truth" can have devastating results. That kind of "truth" can be quite restrictive indeed, as opposed to "the truth can set you free" sort of truth.
My friend needs to make his choices regarding his life, and neither God nor I can make him do anything else. Its up to my friend, and all of us actually, to work out for ourselves. To decide which way we shall go with our lives. You may believe that as long as you're a good person and live a good life, its all good.
Lemme know how that works for you when life goes ka-blooey and the extreme pain sets in. Lemme know how it all plays out when nothing makes sense.
When you're standing on the precipice, and the only option that MAKES sense, is jumping off.
Cuz that time will come.

Sorta like Saul's transformation into Paul.
Gotta go in a direction he doesnt even know exists, let alone be willing to go there. Not the opposite direction, but a direction he doesnt even know exists.

Be careful what you put into your mind, what you accept as truth, because it may come back to bite you in the neck at a very inopportune time. Like when you are most vulnerable, or in the most pain. Evil is like that. Opportunistic.
Be very careful what you accept as truth, or even an option.

To all of you readers, theres more to life than places, things, friends, experiences, careers, fortunes,............. even family.
Yes, even family, the holy grail of American Life.
"Thats what its all about"....... Is what I hear a lot nowadays. Like the whole reason for having holidays is for a big family meal.
Man, thats depressing. Life is all about large meals????
And I'M the crazy one!?!?!?
Whoever made up that idiotic phrase, never had a family meal at my house. I need more to my life that that.

Thank you Lord for making me crazy.

Oh yeah. and for last night's sunset.

Film at 11. Me and God gotta work out a plan for my friend now.
see ya.

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